Hacking Your Emotional API - NERD Summit

Hacking Your Emotional API - NERD Summit

Feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because emotional skills are critical for getting ahead in today's world, even in tech.

You wouldn't think that technology could teach us a lot about emotions, but the right metaphor unites these opposites:

In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting you by modeling them as an API and looking at the code.

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Emotional API

March 20, 2020
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Transcript

  1. Hacking Your Emotional APIv2.9.5

  2. @emotionalAPI John Sawers Engineering Manager at Privia Health @emotionalapi @johnksawers

    http://emotionalapi.com he/his/him
  3. “Emotions just make so much sense to me” — No

    One Ever
  4. @emotionalAPI • Cry • Make a Scene • Whine •

    Yell Don’t
  5. @emotionalAPI Do • • • •

  6. @emotionalAPI We’re on our own

  7. Endpoints @emotionalAPI

  8. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult

    get /people/boss/compliment /feels/sadness /feels/anger /feels/fear /feels/anger /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
  9. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult

    get /people/boss/compliment /feels/love /feels/anger /feels/fear /feels/shame /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
  10. Methods delete '/job/:id' 100.times do Thread.new(post('/feels/fear') end 20.times do Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')

    end end @emotionalAPI
  11. @emotionalAPI A Public API The Bad News

  12. Decomposability @emotionalAPI

  13. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna” — You,

    probably
  14. “Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some

    cases even backfires” David Rock Your Brain At Work[11]
  15. @emotionalAPI Coding Solo

  16. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems

  17. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1]

  18. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer

    Short Term Memory [2]
  19. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer

    Short Term Memory [2] • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
  20. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Health Benefits • “…not just in improved

    behavior but in measurable academic achievement.”[5] • “…measurable health advantage”[9]
  21. @emotionalAPI Coding Together

  22. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel

    powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7]
  23. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel

    powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Better career advancement[8]
  24. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel

    powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Better career advancement[8] • Less self-centered [4] • Empathy!
  25. @emotionalAPI "It wasn't enough to merely be a good engineer

    at Valve. If you were a good engineer with zero communication skills your chances at surviving and thriving when I was there were pretty low. If you acted like an asshole and didn't have many friends it didn't matter how good you were or how awesome your accomplishments were. People like this would be fired sooner or later." - Rich Geldreich https://richg42.blogspot.com/2017/09/things-learned-while-running-your-own.html
  26. Scenarios

  27. @emotionalAPI Degraded Cognition

  28. @emotionalAPI Advocate for Ideas

  29. @emotionalAPI Code Reviews

  30. @emotionalAPI Distraction

  31. @emotionalAPI Problematic Teammates

  32. @emotionalAPI Impostor Syndrome

  33. @emotionalAPI Interviewed, Hired, Fired

  34. @emotionalAPI Manage & Mentor

  35. http://frontside.io/ Senior Software Developer

  36. Toolkit

  37. @emotionalAPI Level 1: Conceptual Tools Level 2: On Your Own

    Level 3: With Someone Else Level 4: With a Group
  38. @emotionalAPI Level 1 Conceptual Tools

  39. @emotionalAPI You Control The Implementation

  40. @emotionalAPI You can control where and when you express your

    feelings (But you don’t have to)
  41. @emotionalAPI get('/feels/anger').perform_later

  42. @emotionalAPI They Don’t Mean Anything

  43. @emotionalAPI Fear of Loss of Control

  44. @emotionalAPI Feelings are Enumerable, not Boolean Anger Disgust Shame

  45. @emotionalAPI There Is No Should

  46. @emotionalAPI Emotional Debt

  47. @emotionalAPI “Even if it feels bad, it’s ok to let

    it feel bad. Eventually you’ll stop feeling bad because feelings just don’t last very long” Amy Cuddy Presence[13]
  48. @emotionalAPI Level 2 On Your Own

  49. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body

  50. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body Dancing • Singing • Exercise

  51. @emotionalAPI Rubber Duck Debugging

  52. @emotionalAPI “…consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock

    Your Brain At Work[10]
  53. @emotionalAPI Yup, talking

  54. @emotionalAPI The Feel Wheel[12]

  55. @emotionalAPI “I feel” vs. “I am”

  56. @emotionalAPI Emotional Retro

  57. @emotionalAPI Level 3 With Another Person

  58. @emotionalAPI Again, Talking

  59. @emotionalAPI Feel first

  60. @emotionalAPI Bring In A Consultant

  61. @emotionalAPI Level 4 With A Group

  62. @emotionalAPI How did I get here? “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend

    Retreat in which you will explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…” Purpose • Passion • Peace http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
  63. GET /feels/

  64. @emotionalAPI Me

  65. @emotionalAPI GET '/events/something/trivial' ⬇ POST ‘/feels/anger'

  66. @emotionalAPI Do

  67. @emotionalAPI Safe Space

  68. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit

  69. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit

  70. GET /feels/

  71. @emotionalAPI delete /v5/parents/marriage post /v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer delete /v17/parents/:dad_id

  72. @emotionalAPI /v5 delete /v5/parents/marriage do 20.times.do { Thread.new(get('/feels/fear')) Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness')) Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))

    } delete('/feels/self_worth') end
  73. @emotionalAPI /v8 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do 20.times.do { Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage')) Thread.new(get('/feels/fear')) Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    } end
  74. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do 1000.times.do { Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer')) Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage')) Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness')) } end
  75. @emotionalAPI Narrator: It did not blow over

  76. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:

    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
  77. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:

    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
  78. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are weak, since birth it has

    always been a sign to indicate you are alive” — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
  79. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do 1000.times.do { Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer')) Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage')) Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness')) } end
  80. @emotionalAPI Diff def /v17/parents/:dad_id do 1000.times.do { 500.times.do { Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage')) Thread.new(get('/feels/anger')) Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness')) } end
  81. @emotionalAPI Diff get /me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high do Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved')) Thread.new(get('/feels/panic')) puts 'oops' fix_it

    move_on end
  82. @emotionalAPI Baggage

  83. @emotionalAPI The Ultimate Goal

  84. Soft Skills Super Hard Skills

  85. @emotionalAPI Best Practices

  86. @emotionalAPI Pick One Thing

  87. @emotionalAPI Compassion

  88. DEEP BREATH

  89. @emotionalAPI Thank You So Much Slides: https://speakerdeck.com/johnksawers/hacking-your-emotional-api-nerd-summit Videos: http://emotionalapi.com Twitter:

    @emotionalAPI DM me on twitter & I will mail you a feel wheel!
  90. @emotionalAPI http://bit.ly/emotional-api-signup Join the email list for a copy of

    the Quick Reference
  91. @emotionalAPI References [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive

    function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119 [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136 [4] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121 [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [6] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259 [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127 [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii [9] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At Work 127 [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119 [12] The Feeling Wheel http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/036215378201200411