Feedback_Talk_for_Hover.pdf

Transcript

1. Feedback Culture journey into the mirror
2. FEEDBACK CULTURE What’s a mirror got to do with it?
3. Finding your edge in a culture of feedback Photo by Joshua Earle by Paulette Luftig slides at http://bit.ly/feedback-edge-slides
4. awareness awakening fear surprise courage truth authenticity striving self-image acceptance bravery barriers stigma stereotype
5. FEEDBACK CULTURE What is it?
6. FEEDBACK CULTURE Why is it valuable?
7. FEEDBACK CULTURE How is it done?
8. Organizational Culture A system of shared assumptions, values, and beliefs, that influence how people behave, dictating how they dress, act, and perform their jobs.
9. Feedback Skillful communication intended to serve a developmental purpose for the individual, team or organization in question.
10. Culture of Feedback A culture in which people witness, support, even provoke one another to grow their capabilities and adapt to challenges through practice.
11. Deeper Intent Strategic Choices Consistent Action
12. Why should we care?
14. The challenge?
15. Most organizational cultures don’t feel safe enough to explore our developmental edges.
16. “In a typical organization…individuals hide parts of themselves, avoid conflict, unwittingly sabotage change efforts, and subtly enforce a separation between the ‘me at work’ and the ‘real me’.” An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
17. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Strives to support employees to close the gap between who they are at work and who they really are. Views weakness as a potential asset; error as an opportunity. Deliberately Developmental Organization
18. People feel like they belong - to themselves within a caring organizational community of support that celebrates achievement measured by the goals and intent of the individual, not just the org structure, and where empathy for everyone’s struggle is the norm
19. Feedback & Grow th O pportunity Regular Organization DDO Employee Satisfaction Awareness, Transparency, Integrity, Trust, Trustworthiness
20. Healthy feedback culture arises from and promotes growth mindset.
22. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation
23. trigger avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation
24. http://www.gratisography.com/
25. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger
26. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger acceptance surrender adm iration joy connection fearlessness drive passion patience
27. –Falcor from The NeverEnding Story “Never give up and good luck will find you.”
28. mirrors the XP / agile business environment Develop, Test, Feedback Develop, Test, Feedback Develop, Test, Feedback Project / Goal Setup feedback loop / impact
29. Opportunist Diplomat Expert Achiever Individualist Strategist Alchemist Not open to feedback. Just can’t even hear it. Not open to feedback. It is received as criticism or ‘disapproval’. Open to feedback from experts in the field of primary interest. Pragmatic. Open to feedback if it helps achieve personal goals. Welcomes feedback as necessary for self-knowledge and to uncover hidden aspects of behavior. Invites feedback for self-actualization. Increased levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Developmental Foundations Views feedback as a natural part of living systems. High levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Can lead to complete re-writing of the system.
31. MATTERS EVERY ONE
33. What does all this really mean in practice? That depends…
34. courage / desire / growth mindset
36. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Imperfections are not inadequacies; 
 they are reminders that we are all in this together.”
37. Growth is gonna hurt, at least a little.
40. ~ Giving Feedback Well ~
41. ASK Specific Actionable Kind
42. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK is about something the recipient has the ability to change explains what the recipient is being asked to do differently
43. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact - the action, not the person states what happened that was done well or not well avoids absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’
44. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely empathetic unassuming
45. …there is one caveat about kindness in relation to feedback…
46. kindness is a terrible reason not to give important feedback
47. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
48. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
49. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
50. “If you can't offer radical candor, the second best thing you can do is be an asshole.”
51. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
52. Giving feedback that is Actionable Specific and Kind is a great start to giving awesome feedback, but it isn’t enough to ensure you won’t do this…
54. great feedback starts with you YOU
55. How emotionally grounded am I? How emotionally grounded is s/he?
56. What do I value? Can I name my privilege? Am I working on becoming aware of my unconscious biases? How do I know I’m not acting on them? The Career Advise You Probably Didn’t Get ~ Susan Colantuono
57. Am I in a position of power and can I use it wisely?
58. Am I willing to have a conversation?
59. Brene Brown on Empathy Can I respond with empathy (not sympathy)?
60. • check in after the fact • if you’ve offered support or made agreements, have integrity - be your word and show up!
61. Giving feedback should never include… venting frustrations blaming / making others responsible for our emotional experience advice giving shaming a power trip to control or manipulate passive aggression
62. Now that we understand how to give feedback, let’s consider how to do our best from the other side of the conversation.
63. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset
64. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’
65. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
66. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others
67. Together we come up with more solutions and better solutions to any challenge!
68. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively)
70. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness
71. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback
73. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback • Practice gratitude
75. Questions?
76. Nonviolent Communication ~ Marshal Rosenburg Difficult Conversations - How to Discuss What Matters Most ~ Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten, Sheila Heen Integral Coaching Canada’s Coaching Manual Five Stars Coaching Manual T.E.D (The Empowerment Dynamic) Giving Effective Feedback (HBR 20-Minute Manager Series) An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization ~ Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey et al. Great Resources on Feedback