Finding Your Edge in a Culture of Feedback

Have you ever wished for more feedback from colleagues to help you get better at your job? When’s the last time you offered helpful feedback to someone else? Imagine an entire company fluent in the daily practice of giving and receiving constructive feedback. Would your experience improve? What does a team lose when feedback doesn’t flow?

Feedback conversations can be difficult. But giving and receiving feedback pushes us to the edge of our growth potential, where the biggest payoffs occur. Use these slides to grow your career by learning how to get real.

Transcript

1. Finding your edge in a culture of feedback
   Photo by Joshua Earle
   Finding your edge in a culture of feedback
   by Paulette Luftig
   slides at bit.ly/forwardjs-feedback-edge-slides
   

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2. Paulette Luftig
   paulette@mavenlink.com
   @pyluftig
   Software Engineer
   bit.ly/forwardjs-feedback-edge-slides
   bit.ly/give-edge-feedback
   

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4. mavenlink.com/engineering
   

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5. 1. A culture of feedback - What is it? Why is it valuable?
   2. Finding your edge in a culture of feedback: What does
   that mean?
   3. Giving and Receiving Feedback Well
   

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6. Feedback Culture
   What is it? Why is it valuable?
   

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7. Organizational Culture
   A system of shared assumptions, values, and beliefs, which
   influences how people behave and dictates how they dress,
   act, and perform their jobs.
   

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8. Feedback
   Skillful communication that is intended to serve a
   developmental purpose for the individual, team or
   organization in question.
   

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9. Culture of Feedback
   A culture in which people witness, support, even provoke
   one another to grow their capabilities and adapt to
   challenges through practice.
   

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10. everyone matters
    

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12. promotes growth
    

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14. persist in the face of setbacks
    instead of giving up easily
    

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15. learn from criticism
    rather than ignoring useful negative feedback
    

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16. mirrors the XP / agile business environment
    Develop, Test,
    Feedback
    Develop, Test,
    Feedback
    Develop, Test,
    Feedback
    Project / Goal Setup
    

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17. What does all this really mean in practice?
    That depends…
    

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19. courage / desire / growth mindset
    

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20. ~ Brene Brown
    The Power of Vulnerability
    “Imperfections are not inadequacies; 

    they are reminders that we are all in this together.”
    

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21. Finding your edge in a culture of feedback:
    What does that mean?
    

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22. Use self-analysis, contemplation, and inquiry within your
    Culture of Feedback to answer questions like…
    

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23. Where do you stop trying?
    

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24. Where do your thoughts turn self-defeating?
    

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25. What conversations are you not having?
    

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26. http://www.gratisography.com/
    

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27. avoidance
    envy
    jealousy
    separation
    fear
    sadness
    control
    longing
    irritation
    

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28. trigger
    avoidance
    envy
    jealousy
    separation
    fear
    sadness
    control
    longing
    irritation
    

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29. trigger
    avoidance
    envy
    jealousy
    separation
    fear
    sadness
    control
    longing
    irritation
    

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30. trigger
    acceptance
    surrender
    adm
    iration
    joy
    connection
    fearlessness
    drive
    passion
    patience
    avoidance
    envy
    jealousy
    separation
    fear
    sadness
    control
    longing
    irritation
    

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34. So if working our edge has the potential to be as
    exhilarating as a fearless base jump, why aren't we all taking
    the leap and working our growth edge at our companies?
    

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35. Most organizational cultures don’t feel
    safe enough to explore our edges.
    

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36. “In a typical organization…individuals hide parts of
    themselves, avoid conflict, unwittingly sabotage change efforts,
    and subtly enforce a separation between the ‘me at work’ and
    the ‘real me’.”
    An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
    

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37. “In a typical organization…everyone is doing a second
    job that no one is getting paid to do - look good, stay
    safe, avoid vulnerability.”
    An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
    

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38. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
    Deliberately Developmental Organization
    Strives to support employees to close the gap between
    who they are at work and who they really are.
    Views weakness as a potential asset;
    error as an opportunity.
    

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39. Feedback
    &
    G
    row
    th
    O
    pportunity
    Regular
    Organization DDO
    Employee Satisfaction
    Awareness, Transparency, Integrity,
    Trust, Trustworthiness
    

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40. Giving and Receiving Feedback Well
    

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41. Part 1:
    Structuring Feedback with A.S.K.
    

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42. ASK
    Specific
    Actionable Kind
    

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43. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK
    is about something the recipient
    has the ability to change
    explains what the recipient
    is being asked to do differently
    

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44. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK
    focuses on impact -
    the action, not the person
    states what happened that
    was done well or not well
    avoids absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’
    

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45. KIND FEEDBACK
    discreet when appropriate
    positively intended
    timely
    empathetic
    unassuming
    

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46. …there is one caveat about kindness
    in relation to feedback…
    

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47. kindness is a terrible reason
    not to give important feedback
    

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48. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
    http://www.radicalcandor.com/
    Candor and Kim Scott
    

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49. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
    http://www.radicalcandor.com/
    Candor and Kim Scott
    

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50. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
    http://www.radicalcandor.com/
    Candor and Kim Scott
    

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51. “If you can't offer radical candor,
    the second best thing you
    can do is be an asshole.”
    

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52. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
    http://www.radicalcandor.com/
    Candor and Kim Scott
    

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53. Giving feedback that is Actionable Specific and Kind is
    a great start to giving awesome feedback, but it isn’t enough
    to ensure you won’t do this…
    

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55. Part 2: Start with You
    

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56. Is now the right time?
    

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57. How emotionally grounded am I?
    How emotionally grounded is s/he?
    

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58. Am I aware of my personal values,
    privileges, and biases?
    The Career Advise You Probably Didn’t Get by Susan Colantuono
    

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59. Am I in a position of power and can I use it wisely?
    

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60. Am I willing to have a conversation?
    

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61. Brene Brown on Empathy
    Can I respond with empathy (not sympathy)?
    

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62. • check in after the fact
    • if you’ve offered support or made agreements, have
    integrity - be your word and show up!
    

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63. Giving feedback should never include…
    venting frustrations
    blaming / making others
    responsible for our emotional experience
    advice giving
    shaming
    a power trip to control or manipulate
    passive aggression
    

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64. Now that we understand how to give feedback,
    let’s consider how to do our best from
    the other side of the conversation.
    

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65. Part 3:
    Receiving Feedback Effectively
    

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66. ~ Brene Brown
    The Power of Vulnerability
    “Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’
    Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’
    

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67. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    

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68. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    

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70. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    • See it as opportunity to grow with help from others
    

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72. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    • See it as opportunity to grow with help from others
    • Stop playing defense (passively or actively)
    

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74. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    • See it as opportunity to grow with help from others
    • Stop playing defense (passively or actively)
    • Be aware of your experience
    

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76. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    • See it as opportunity to grow with help from others
    • Stop playing defense (passively or actively)
    • Be aware of your experience
    • Have compassion for self and others
    

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78. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
    • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
    • See it as opportunity to grow with help from others
    • Stop playing defense (passively or actively)
    • Be aware of your experience
    • Be empathetic towards self and others
    • Take what works and leave the rest - all in gratitude
    

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80. Nonviolent Communication
    ~ Marshal Rosenburg
    Difficult Conversations - How to Discuss What Matters Most
    ~ Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten, Sheila Heen
    Integral Coaching Canada’s Coaching Manual
    Five Stars Coaching Manual
    T.E.D (The Empowerment Dynamic)
    Giving Effective Feedback (HBR 20-Minute Manager Series)
    An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
    ~ Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey et al.
    Great Resources on Feedback
    

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81. Paulette Luftig
    Software Engineer
    paulette@mavenlink.com
    @pyluftig
    slides: bit.ly/forwardjs-feedback-edge-slides
    Mavenlink is hiring. If you’re interested in learning
    more about Mavenlink and its engineering department,
    check out the link below.
    mavenlink.com/engineering
    Give Paulette feedback and practice what you learned at bit.ly/give-edge-feedback
    Thank you!!!
    

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