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Feedback Culture: Journey into the Mirror

Feedback Culture: Journey into the Mirror

As part of a community of trusted peers who are willing to give one another feedback, we can expect to experience growth towards challenging developmental edges that bring us to life. But while feedback is an opportunity to see ourselves more completely, and an opportunity to grow ourselves and others, we need to be careful to consciously develop our skills around giving and receiving feedback well.

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Paulette Luftig

August 24, 2019
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Transcript

  1. Feedback Culture journey into the mirror

  2. FEEDBACK CULTURE What’s a mirror got to do with it?

  3. With the topic of feedback in mind, 
 what does

    this image represent to you?
  4. awareness awakening fear surprise courage truth authenticity striving self-image acceptance

    bravery barriers stigma stereotype
  5. FEEDBACK CULTURE What is it?

  6. FEEDBACK CULTURE Why is it valuable?

  7. FEEDBACK CULTURE How is it done?

  8. role play scenarios

  9. Organizational Culture A system of shared assumptions, values, and beliefs,

    that influence how people behave, dictating how they dress, act, and perform their jobs.
  10. Feedback Skillful communication intended to serve a developmental purpose for

    the individual, team or organization in question.
  11. Culture of Feedback A culture in which people witness, support,

    even provoke one another to grow their capabilities and adapt to challenges through practice.
  12. grow adapt practice

  13. Deeper Intent

  14. Deeper Intent Strategic Choices

  15. Deeper Intent Strategic Choices Consistent Action

  16. Most organizational cultures don’t feel safe enough to explore our

    developmental edges.
  17. “In a typical organization…individuals hide parts of themselves, avoid conflict,

    unwittingly sabotage change efforts, and subtly enforce a separation between the ‘me at work’ and the ‘real me’.” An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
  18. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Deliberately Developmental

    Organization
  19. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Strives to

    support employees to close the gap between who they are at work and who they really are. Deliberately Developmental Organization
  20. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Strives to

    support employees to close the gap between who they are at work and who they really are. Views low capability as a potential asset; error as an opportunity. Deliberately Developmental Organization
  21. Feedback & Grow th O pportunity Regular Organization DDO Employee

    Satisfaction Awareness, Transparency, Integrity, Trust, Trustworthiness
  22. None
  23. developmental edges make us feel alive

  24. they can also make us feel terrified

  25. None
  26. experience

  27. trigger

  28. trigger avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation

  29. http://www.gratisography.com/

  30. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger

  31. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger

    acceptance surrender adm iration joy connection fearlessness drive passion patience
  32. Healthy feedback culture arises from and promotes growth mindset.

  33. None
  34. –Falcor from The NeverEnding Story “Never give up and good

    luck will find you.”
  35. Opportunist Diplomat Expert Achiever Individualist Strategist Alchemist Not open to

    feedback. Just can’t even hear it. Not open to feedback. It is received as criticism or ‘disapproval’. Open to feedback from experts in the field of primary interest. Pragmatic. Open to feedback if it helps achieve personal goals. Welcomes feedback as necessary for self-knowledge and to uncover hidden aspects of behavior. Invites feedback for self-actualization. Increased levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Developmental Foundations Views feedback as a natural part of living systems. High levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Can lead to complete re-writing of the system.
  36. None
  37. MATTERS EVERY ONE

  38. None
  39. What does all this really mean in practice? That depends…

  40. courage / desire / growth mindset

  41. None
  42. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Imperfections are not

    inadequacies; 
 they are reminders that we are all in this together.”
  43. Growth is gonna hurt, at least a little.

  44. None
  45. None
  46. ~ Giving Feedback Well ~

  47. A. S. K.

  48. ASK Specific Actionable Kind

  49. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK is about something the recipient has the ability

    to change
  50. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK is about something the recipient has the ability

    to change explains what the recipient is being asked to do differently
  51. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact from action, not character

  52. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact from action, not character states

    what happened that was done well or not well
  53. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact - the action, not the

    person states what happened that was done well or not well avoids absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’
  54. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate

  55. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended

  56. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely

  57. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely empathetic

  58. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely empathetic unassuming

    - be curious
  59. …there is one caveat about kindness in relation to feedback…

  60. kindness is a terrible reason not to give important feedback

  61. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good

    Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
  62. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good

    Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
  63. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good

    Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
  64. “If you can't offer radical candor, the second best thing

    you can do is be an asshole.”
  65. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good

    Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
  66. Giving feedback that is Actionable Specific and Kind is a

    great start to giving awesome feedback, but it isn’t enough to ensure you won’t do this…
  67. None
  68. great feedback starts with you YOU

  69. How emotionally grounded am I? How emotionally grounded is s/he?

  70. What do I value? Can I name my privilege? Am

    I working on becoming aware of my unconscious biases? How do I know I’m not acting on them? The Career Advise You Probably Didn’t Get ~ Susan Colantuono
  71. Am I in a position of power and can I

    use it wisely?
  72. Am I willing to have a conversation?

  73. Brene Brown on Empathy Can I respond with empathy (not

    sympathy)?
  74. • check in after the fact • if you’ve offered

    support or made agreements, have integrity - be your word and show up!
  75. Giving feedback should never include… venting frustrations blaming / making

    others responsible for our emotional experience giving advice that wasn’t requested shaming a power trip to control or manipulate passive aggression
  76. Now that we understand how to give feedback, let’s consider

    how to do our best from the other side of the conversation.
  77. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset

  78. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Healthy striving is

    self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’
  79. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset
  80. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others
  81. Together we come up with more solutions and better solutions

    to any challenge!
  82. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense 
 (passively or actively)
  83. None
  84. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness
  85. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback
  86. None
  87. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth

    over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback • Practice gratitude
  88. Practice Scenarios

  89. 1. The last three nights you’ve gotten pressure from a

    friend to go out drinking and partying when you have a lot of work to accomplish for school. You don’t want to go but he’s not taking the hint. What feedback do you provide to let him know what’s going on for you? 2. You are working on a group course project and one of your peers has cut you off and out of the conversation at 3 points in the last hour. Communicate what’s happening for you? 3. You’ve just watched a colleague give a presentation at the office. That colleague asked for feedback on how she did.
  90. Possibly inquire into what might be happening for the other

    person. Explain how you are being impacted. Make an actionable request for the change you seek. Name what is happening, based on what can be observed. Be specific! ACTIONABLE, SPECIFIC, and KIND Be kind.
  91. None
  92. Questions?

  93. Nonviolent Communication
 ~ Marshal Rosenburg Difficult Conversations - How to

    Discuss What Matters Most
 ~ Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten, Sheila Teen Integral Coaching Canada’s Coaching Manual Five Stars Coaching Manual T.E.D (The Empowerment Dynamic) Giving Effective Feedback (HBR 20-Minute Manager Series) An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization ~ Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey et al. Feedback Growth Model
 ~ Dr. Edward Kelly Great Resources on Feedback