Feedback Culture: Journey into the Mirror

As part of a community of trusted peers who are willing to give one another feedback, we can expect to experience growth towards challenging developmental edges that bring us to life. But while feedback is an opportunity to see ourselves more completely, and an opportunity to grow ourselves and others, we need to be careful to consciously develop our skills around giving and receiving feedback well.

Transcript

1. Feedback Culture journey into the mirror
2. FEEDBACK CULTURE What’s a mirror got to do with it?
3. With the topic of feedback in mind, 
 what does this image represent to you?
4. awareness awakening fear surprise courage truth authenticity striving self-image acceptance bravery barriers stigma stereotype
5. FEEDBACK CULTURE What is it?
6. FEEDBACK CULTURE Why is it valuable?
7. FEEDBACK CULTURE How is it done?
8. role play scenarios
9. Organizational Culture A system of shared assumptions, values, and beliefs, that influence how people behave, dictating how they dress, act, and perform their jobs.
10. Feedback Skillful communication intended to serve a developmental purpose for the individual, team or organization in question.
11. Culture of Feedback A culture in which people witness, support, even provoke one another to grow their capabilities and adapt to challenges through practice.
12. grow adapt practice
13. Deeper Intent
14. Deeper Intent Strategic Choices
15. Deeper Intent Strategic Choices Consistent Action
16. Most organizational cultures don’t feel safe enough to explore our developmental edges.
17. “In a typical organization…individuals hide parts of themselves, avoid conflict, unwittingly sabotage change efforts, and subtly enforce a separation between the ‘me at work’ and the ‘real me’.” An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
18. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Deliberately Developmental Organization
19. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Strives to support employees to close the gap between who they are at work and who they really are. Deliberately Developmental Organization
20. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization Strives to support employees to close the gap between who they are at work and who they really are. Views low capability as a potential asset; error as an opportunity. Deliberately Developmental Organization
21. Feedback & Grow th O pportunity Regular Organization DDO Employee Satisfaction Awareness, Transparency, Integrity, Trust, Trustworthiness
23. developmental edges make us feel alive
24. they can also make us feel terrified
26. experience
27. trigger
28. trigger avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation
29. http://www.gratisography.com/
30. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger
31. avoidance envy jealousy separation fear sadness control longing irritation trigger acceptance surrender adm iration joy connection fearlessness drive passion patience
32. Healthy feedback culture arises from and promotes growth mindset.
34. –Falcor from The NeverEnding Story “Never give up and good luck will find you.”
35. Opportunist Diplomat Expert Achiever Individualist Strategist Alchemist Not open to feedback. Just can’t even hear it. Not open to feedback. It is received as criticism or ‘disapproval’. Open to feedback from experts in the field of primary interest. Pragmatic. Open to feedback if it helps achieve personal goals. Welcomes feedback as necessary for self-knowledge and to uncover hidden aspects of behavior. Invites feedback for self-actualization. Increased levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Developmental Foundations Views feedback as a natural part of living systems. High levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available. Can lead to complete re-writing of the system.
37. MATTERS EVERY ONE
39. What does all this really mean in practice? That depends…
40. courage / desire / growth mindset
42. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Imperfections are not inadequacies; 
 they are reminders that we are all in this together.”
43. Growth is gonna hurt, at least a little.
46. ~ Giving Feedback Well ~
47. A. S. K.
48. ASK Specific Actionable Kind
49. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK is about something the recipient has the ability to change
50. ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK is about something the recipient has the ability to change explains what the recipient is being asked to do differently
51. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact from action, not character
52. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact from action, not character states what happened that was done well or not well
53. SPECIFIC FEEDBACK focuses on impact - the action, not the person states what happened that was done well or not well avoids absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’
54. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate
55. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended
56. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely
57. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely empathetic
58. KIND FEEDBACK discreet when appropriate positively intended timely empathetic unassuming - be curious
59. …there is one caveat about kindness in relation to feedback…
60. kindness is a terrible reason not to give important feedback
61. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
62. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
63. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
64. “If you can't offer radical candor, the second best thing you can do is be an asshole.”
65. Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss http://www.radicalcandor.com/ Candor and Kim Scott
66. Giving feedback that is Actionable Specific and Kind is a great start to giving awesome feedback, but it isn’t enough to ensure you won’t do this…
68. great feedback starts with you YOU
69. How emotionally grounded am I? How emotionally grounded is s/he?
70. What do I value? Can I name my privilege? Am I working on becoming aware of my unconscious biases? How do I know I’m not acting on them? The Career Advise You Probably Didn’t Get ~ Susan Colantuono
71. Am I in a position of power and can I use it wisely?
72. Am I willing to have a conversation?
73. Brene Brown on Empathy Can I respond with empathy (not sympathy)?
74. • check in after the fact • if you’ve offered support or made agreements, have integrity - be your word and show up!
75. Giving feedback should never include… venting frustrations blaming / making others responsible for our emotional experience giving advice that wasn’t requested shaming a power trip to control or manipulate passive aggression
76. Now that we understand how to give feedback, let’s consider how to do our best from the other side of the conversation.
77. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset
78. ~ Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability “Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’
79. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
80. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others
81. Together we come up with more solutions and better solutions to any challenge!
82. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense 
 (passively or actively)
84. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness
85. • Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback
87. • Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset • Choose a growth over a fixed mindset • Recognize feedback as an opportunity to grow with support from others • Stop playing defense (passively or actively) • Ground yourself in self-awareness • Be kind to yourself and to others through any process of feedback • Practice gratitude
88. Practice Scenarios
89. 1. The last three nights you’ve gotten pressure from a friend to go out drinking and partying when you have a lot of work to accomplish for school. You don’t want to go but he’s not taking the hint. What feedback do you provide to let him know what’s going on for you? 2. You are working on a group course project and one of your peers has cut you off and out of the conversation at 3 points in the last hour. Communicate what’s happening for you? 3. You’ve just watched a colleague give a presentation at the office. That colleague asked for feedback on how she did.
90. Possibly inquire into what might be happening for the other person. Explain how you are being impacted. Make an actionable request for the change you seek. Name what is happening, based on what can be observed. Be specific! ACTIONABLE, SPECIFIC, and KIND Be kind.
92. Questions?
93. Nonviolent Communication
 ~ Marshal Rosenburg Difficult Conversations - How to Discuss What Matters Most
 ~ Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten, Sheila Teen Integral Coaching Canada’s Coaching Manual Five Stars Coaching Manual T.E.D (The Empowerment Dynamic) Giving Effective Feedback (HBR 20-Minute Manager Series) An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization ~ Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey et al. Feedback Growth Model
 ~ Dr. Edward Kelly Great Resources on Feedback