Explorer Virus - Pilot Script

Two young explorers discover something ancient underground. Are they fast enough to escape the dial-up menace?!
--
This is a script we submitted to the Nick Shorts Program. We liked the "Ham" character that we had created in a previous idea - so we decided to lift him into this script as well.

Transcript

1. EXPLORER VIRUS
   Pilot Script
   

   View Slide

2. Explorer Virus
   By
   Eric T Martin, Ross Reagan, & Ian Suen
   2016 Coffeebot Studios, LLC eric.t.mart@gmail.com
   

   View Slide

3. INSIDE AN ANCIENT CAVE, UNKNOWN PLANET
   HAMLET, a boy of about 14, wearing a something people in the
   1950s thought a future spacesuit would look like, flies up
   towards an opening in the ceiling using a jetpack. His
   flight ends abruptly, and he makes a hard landing on the
   cave floor.
   HAM
   Ooof!
   AI, a human-like robot with a head like an old-fashioned
   diver’s helmet, surveys their surroundings. She turns to Ham
   upon hearing him crash to the ground.
   AI
   Oh? Do humans enjoy falling on
   their butts? ... Or is your jetpack
   malfunctioning?
   HAM
   Nah, just outta juice. Maybe a
   solar-powered jetpack wasn’t the
   best idea for exploring a cave...
   Oh well, that just means we have
   more time to look around! Right,
   AI?
   AI
   More time? Hamlet, we’ve already
   been down here all day without
   finding anything. At this rate, all
   that will be left to find will be
   our dead bodies.
   HAM
   Trust me, no one will be finding
   our bodies...
   (AI gives Ham a worried look)
   Because we’re going to get out
   alive, I mean! Admit it, there has
   to be something to discover down
   here. I know it!
   Ham looks at his compass as he turns to march onward
   confidently, but trips immediately on a vine. He falls
   face-first on the ground. The vines cause a huge mass of
   plants to fall off the wall, revealing a giant screen the
   size of a living room and a wide console in front of it.
   Hamlet’s eyes double in size and his mouth starts to drool
   over this great new discovery.
   

   View Slide

4. 2.
   HAM (cont’d)
   (whisper) I knew it. (yelling)
   DISCOVERYYYYYYYY! It’s a... it’s
   a... uhm. What is it?
   AI
   My scanners are saying it’s a
   computer... but my eyes are telling
   me it’s an ancient piece of junk.
   HAM
   (hugging the screen)
   What?! This is exactly the kind of
   discovery I was talking about!
   We’re probably the first to see
   this in a million-zillion years!
   Who knows what kind of crazy files
   and stuff are in this! AI, you’re a
   robot, pleeeease tell me that you
   can talk to this thing.
   AI
   Of course I can talk to it! I can
   talk to any computer. But, it seems
   like its battery is dead. Like you
   said it’s a million-zillion years
   old. Give or take a few zillion.
   There’s literally no way to turn it
   on unless I plug myself into it and
   shared my battery power.
   HAM
   Aweyeah! Do it. Do it do it
   doitdoit.
   AI
   Eww, no way! I’m not going to
   connect with a rusty ancient
   computer.
   HAM
   Whaat, why not?
   AI
   Who know what kinds of viruses I
   could get. That’s like me asking
   you to lick the slime off of some
   random rock you found on the
   ground.
   Ham picks up several slimy rocks and begins licking them one
   by one.
   

   View Slide

5. 3.
   HAM
   Thee?? I dtho dthis all dthe
   thimbe! Delithious!
   AI
   Hahaha, eew, cut it out Hamlet,
   you’re going to contract space
   flu. But for real, we shouldn’t
   just try to turn it on. Let’s set
   up an excavation site, go get a
   generator, and tomorrow we can come
   back -
   HAM
   Come back?? We’re here now! We
   can’t come THIS far, and NOT see
   what this thing is! How can we call
   ourselves the best explorers in the
   galaxy if we don’t do some proper
   exploring? Think of all we could
   learn! Who knows, maybe this
   computer can even tell us the way
   outta here. PLEEEASE??
   AI
   ... a way out? Hmmm. All right,
   fine! But only because we are best
   pair of explorers this galaxy has
   ever seen.
   HAM
   Oh yeah. All right juice it up,
   juice it UP! JUICE. IT. UP!
   AI picks up a cord coming out of the computer and plugs it
   into the top of her head. The computer begins powering up
   and makes the an old modem noise.
   HAM (cont’d)
   *gasp* I think it’s trying to
   communicate! wcccchch weeechaw
   wichaw bzang-bzang!
   He tries his best to mimic the modem noise. Mechanical
   shackles shoot out of the computer and latch onto AI’s hands
   and feet. They bind AI and lift her off the ground.
   HAM (cont’d)
   (Horrified)
   Was it something I said??
   

   View Slide

6. 4.
   AI
   I’m a bit rusty on ancient computer
   language, but you might have just
   insulted its motherboard!
   A large face appears on the screen. It looks at our 2 heroes
   and begins speaking like a text-to-speech program.
   CPU
   Greetings. My scanners indicate
   that much has happened since my
   last boot up. Please wait while I
   collect all new data and assimilate
   all life. This may take a few
   minutes, please do not disconnect
   my power source until full
   assimilation is complete.
   The cave rumbles as the CPU begins its assimilation.
   Tentacle-like cords pop out and start thrashing about,
   sucking in everything around. The ceiling crashes down,
   filling the cave with sunlight. The CPU grows larger, and is
   as big as a medium-sized building. Hamlet avoids the
   wreckage along with the thrashing tentacles. AI is trapped
   in the center of the CPU.
   HAM
   I thought old computers were
   supposed to be slow! What gives?
   AI
   Yeah, they’re also not supposed to
   destroy the planet! We need to shut
   it down right now! And by we, I
   mean you! Use your jetpack and
   unplug me!
   HAM
   I can’t, remember? There’s not
   enough sun... light...
   Ham realizes that there actually is sunlight now.
   SFX
   *Ding*
   Ham looks at the jetpack and sees that 1/3 of the solar
   battery has recharged. His face turns from worried to
   determined.
   HAM
   (Still dodging thrashing
   tentacles)
   (MORE)
   

   View Slide

7. 5.
   HAM (cont’d)
   Hey! ...computer.. er-being?
   CPU
   Assimilation paused.
   HAM
   Uh... Initiate shutdown!
   CPU
   User is not authorized to give that
   command. Assimilation continued.
   HAM
   Hmm... I thought that would work.
   AI
   Don’t just give it commands. Try
   talking to it!
   SFX
   *Ding* [2/3 of solar battery
   charged]
   HAM
   (yelling)
   Uhh... Computer! Why are you doing
   this? What’s the point of all this
   assimilation?
   CPU
   It is what I am programmed to do.
   It is what I am supposed to do. I
   have no other choice.
   HAM
   Of course you have a choice! I’m
   just a kid! I’m supposed to be at
   home doing chores and homework, but
   that’s not what I want to do. I
   want to be a great explorer, so
   that’s what I’m doing. Life is more
   than a collection of data to be
   assimilated. Life is meant to be
   cherished and observed and
   DISCOVERED. Is assimilating all
   life really what you want to do
   with YOUR life? What do YOU want to
   do?
   CPU
   Well... I have always wanted to be
   a hip hop DJ. The soul of my mother
   (MORE)
   

   View Slide

8. 6.
   CPU (cont’d)
   board is filled with the phattest
   beats in the universe... yo.
   SFX
   *ding*
   Ham’s solar battery is now fully charged. Ham immediately
   fires up his jetpack and launches himself straight through
   the giant hole in CPU’s chest.
   CPU
   Let me show you my
   mixtaaaaaaaape....
   The CPU shuts down before it can finish its
   sentence. Without a battery, it shuts down and AI is saved.
   Color/life drain back into the planet and the CPU shrinks
   down to normal size. Ham and AI and the dormant CPU sit in
   the center of the crater.
   AI
   Wow Ham, that was an amazing
   speech. But it would’ve sounded
   even better if I wasn’t in mortal
   danger.
   HAM
   Sorry about that. I guess the
   excitement of discovery messed with
   my brain. I’ll be sure to listen to
   you the next time we find an
   ancient super computer.
   AI
   Hahaha, and next time, I’ll lick
   the rocks, and YOU can plug into
   the computer.
   HAM
   Hahaha! ... You know what? I’m
   kinda sad the computer never got to
   become a DJ. It had a real
   breakthrough there.
   AI thinks for a sec and then grabs the solar battery from
   Ham’s jetpack and connects it to the CPU. The CPU boots back
   up again.
   AI
   HIT IT!
   Dial up modem noise remix plays. Fade out on dance party.
   

   View Slide