away from an earth-like planet. It pulls an asteroid-sized bag of trash behind itself on a long tether. The trashteroid is almost as large as a small moon.] Comm Oh thank you so much trashtronauts, you are doing our planet a great service. Our planet was almost consumed by all of our garbage. If you hadn’t come to take it all away, I don’t know what we would have done. Thank you, thank you! Garth All in a day’s work, Thargamel. We’re happy to take this trashteroid to the sun. As trashtronauts, it is our sworn duty to keep the galaxy clean. We’re happy to haul your trash any time. Ain’t that right Freshmo? Freshmo A clean life, is a fresh life. [Freshmo releases a small puff of air freshener from her top vent.] G [Sniffs] Aahh… You know Freshmo, without you, I think my nose would fall off from all the stank SFX Woooooooop! WoooooooooOOOOOP! F Captain Garth! We’ve got company. [Looks at GPS console] F Trash pirates on our 6! They’re messaging us. Capt. Junkheap This be Captain Junkheap, I hereby command ye to stop this vessel. G We don’t negotiate with scum-lords like you.
be a valuable trashteroid ye be haulin. We’ll be takin’ it off yer hands now. Release yer trash-booty or prepare to be boarded. G These guys make my blood boil. If there’s one thing I hate more than garbage, it’s people with garbage attitudes! We have to make sure that this trashteroid is disposed of responsibly. What do you think Freshmo? F Let’s take out the trash. G Punch it! [Astro Trash Truck lurches forward with 3 pirates on their tail. The pirates fire on the Trashtro’s, one laser grazes the trashteroid tether.] G This is getting hairy! Hand me the Can cannon Freshmo! [Freshmo hands Garth a metal trash can with a rifle handle on it. Garth leans out the window and aims for one of the pirate ships. He fires and destroys one of the ships.] SFX Clunk! Clunk! F Captain Garth, we have been boarded! G Take the wheel, Freshmo. I’m going for a walk. [Garth climbs out the window and on top of the moving Astro trash. He is met by C. Junkheap and another pirate.] CJ Avast! I’m here for the booty and nothin more. Don’t make me kill ya to get what I be wantin. Don’t be a hero, son.
he goes flying. He goes to shoot CJ, but is out of ammo. CJ cackles as he brandishes his cutlass. Garth produces a trash spear and prepares to fight. Garth fights him towards the back edge and CJ is about to lose. CJ looks to the tether and smiles, he slices the tether and the trashteroid begins to fall back down towards the planet. CJ jumps from the truck and cackles.] CJ You win this round, Trashtronauts, but just try dealing with this caTRASHtrophe! You know what they say, one man’s trash is another man’s DEATH! F Captain! We have a problem, the trashteroid is being pulled back toward the planet. At this rate, it will impact in less than 5 minutes. G What will happen when it hits? F The trashteroid is over a mile wide. Debris and dust from the impact will cause mass death and a most likely plunge the planet into an ice age. A TRASH age. [beat] TLDR, total and utter destruction. Very un-fresh, captain. Very un-fresh. G Aaah! What can we do??? F Our only hope is to push the trashteroid far enough off its current course so that it slingshots around the planet and back towards the sun. G Punch it! [The truck whips around and throttles toward the trashteroid. They sidle up next to it and ram into its side.] F It’s not enough, Cap! We need more push! G I’m giving it all we’ve got! We need more power. zF Captain. Load me into the cannon.
me onto the trashteroid and I’ll use my freshness to give it the extra push. G But in order to influence something that big… you’d have to release ALL your freshness! You’ll die! No way, I can’t allow you to sacrifice yourself. F It’s not up to you! 1 life for billions! Shoot. Me. It will be the freshest thing I ever do… Garth loads Freshmo into the cannon and aims him at the trashteroid. F Stay Fresh, captain. G AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Garth shoots him onto the trashteroid. Once there, Freshmo plants his arms and releases an enormous gas cloud of freshness. The cloud is enough to push the trashteroid just out of range and into orbit. It slingshots around the planet and is sent off toward the sun. Garth looks at the sparkling cloud with teary eyes.] G [Stifling tears] Stay… Fresh...