3. needs :ニーズ 4. requests :要求 Felix, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the rooms that we share in common. Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine? “ “ @Kotaro666-dev 7
たず、他人を犠牲にして自分のニーズを満たすことはできないと理解した状態 In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages: (1) "emotional slavery"—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, (2) "the obnoxious stage"—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and (3) "emotional liberation"—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others. “ “ @Kotaro666-dev 8
we tend instead to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, on the other hand, requires us to focus full attention on the other person's message. We give to others the time. “ “ In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy and allow others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief. “ “ @Kotaro666-dev 9
step in the process of fully expressing our anger is to realize that what other people do is never the cause of how we feel. “ “ Even if we are not initially conscious of it, the cause of anger is located in our own thinking. “ “ @Kotaro666-dev 10
us create a more peaceful state of mind by encouraging us to focus on what we are truly wanting rather than on what is wrong with others or ourselves. “ “ @Kotaro666-dev 11