People Skills and Small Talk

Most people have a fear of speaking to others in some capacity, but typically the thought of talking to people is worse than the reality. This talk offers reasons why the benefits of talking to others outweigh the risk, as well as, techniques to make comfortable small talk with strangers.

Transcript

1. People Skills and Small Talk Leah Wynn Software Developer Greater Sum
7. But Why??
8. Your Job
12. Your Happiness Mistakenly seeking solitude. Schroeder and Nicholas Epley, a behavioral-science professor at the University of Chicago Epley, N., & Schroeder, J. (2014). Mistakenly seeking solitude. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(5), 1980-1999. “People systematically misunderstand the consequences of social connection. Mistakenly thinking that isolation is more pleasant than connecting with a stranger, when the benefits of social connection actually extend to distant strangers as well.”
13. Your Cognitive Performance Friends (and Sometimes Enemies) With Cognitive Benefits What Types of Social Interactions Boost Executive Functioning? Oscar Ybarra, Piotr Winkielman, Irene Yeh, Eugene Burnstein, Liam Kavanagh Published in Social Psychological and Personality Science Journal The group that engaged in friendly small talk performed better in the tests, with researchers highlighting improvements specific to the brain’s executive functions.
14. How Do We Get Better At Conversations?
15. How Do We Get Better At Conversations? - Practice
16. How Do We Get Better At Conversations? - Practice - Focus on The Task at Hand
17. How Do We Get Better At Conversations? - Practice - Focus on The Task at Hand - Observe Others with Great People Skills
18. How Do We Make Great Conversations?
19. How Do We Make Great Conversations? 1. TAKE THE RISK
20. How Do We Make Great Conversations? 1. TAKE THE RISK 2. ASSUME THE BURDEN
21. How Do We Take The Risk?
22. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk
23. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk - Rarely will someone outright reject you
24. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk - Rarely will someone outright reject you - Focus on objectives
25. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk - Rarely will someone outright reject you - Focus on objectives - Be in charge of your own destiny
26. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk - Rarely will someone outright reject you - Focus on objectives - Be in charge of your own destiny - Strangers are not to be feared
27. How Do We Take The Risk? - Most people want to talk - Rarely will someone outright reject you - Focus on objectives - Be in charge of your own destiny - Strangers are not to be feared - There are worse things to be afraid of
28. How Do We Assume the Burden?
29. How Do We Assume the Burden? - Make the other person feel like you are taking care of the conversation
30. How Do We Assume the Burden? - Make the other person feel like you are taking care of the conversation - Be the “Host”
31. How Do We Assume the Burden? - Make the other person feel like you are taking care of the conversation - Be the “Host” - Be genuine
32. How Do We Assume the Burden? - Make the other person feel like you are taking care of the conversation - Be the “Host” - Be genuine - Take turns
33. How Do We Start?
34. How Do We Start? - Smile, Introduce yourself.
35. How Do We Start? - Smile, Introduce yourself. - Learn their name, give yours
36. How Do We Start? - Smile, Introduce yourself. - Learn their name - Prepare Icebreakers - Prepare questions
37. How Do We Start? - Smile, Introduce yourself. - Learn their name - Prepare Icebreakers - Prepare questions - Be curious
38. How Do We Start? - Smile, Introduce yourself. - Learn their name - Prepare Icebreakers - Prepare questions - Be curious - Ask open ended questions
39. “What prompted you to attend this conference?”
40. Good Questions - Open Ended
41. Good Questions - Open Ended - Location or Occasion
42. Good Questions - Open Ended - Location or Occasion - Avoid uncomfortable topics
43. Safe Topics Family … tell me about your family. What do you like best about being a mother/father? Occupation … What got you into your current job? If you could change one thing about your job what would it be? Recreation … How do you spend your leisure time? What’s been your favorite vacation? Miscellaneous … What do you think about [news event]? Are you reading anything you really enjoy? Tell me about it.
44. Topics to Avoid 1. Stories of Questionable Taste 2. Gossip 3. Personal Misfortunes, particularly current ones 4. How Much Things Cost 5. Controversial subjects when you don’t know where people stand 6. Health When in doubt, leave it out
45. When Things Go Wrong
46. When Things Go Wrong THE INTERROGATOR - Help this person by taking back control of the conversation.
47. When Things Go Wrong THE INTERROGATOR - Help this person by taking back control of the conversation. THE BRAGGER - Bring the conversation back to more general topics.
48. When Things Go Wrong THE INTERROGATOR - Help this person by taking back control of the conversation. THE BRAGGER - Bring the conversation back to more general topics. THE MONOPOLISER - Know when to exit the conversation.
49. When Things Go Wrong (continuned) THE INTERRUPTER - There is no excuse for interrupting in a conversation.
50. When Things Go Wrong (continuned) THE INTERRUPTER - There is no excuse for interrupting in a conversation. THE POOR SPORT - Teach by example
51. When Things Go Wrong (continuned) THE INTERRUPTER - There is no excuse for interrupting in a conversation. THE POOR SPORT - Teach by example THE KNOW IT ALL - Carefully state your personal opinion. Ask for other’s opinions
52. When Things Go Wrong (continuned) THE ADVISOR - Acknowledge that was has been said is important
53. Exiting the Conversation
54. Exiting the Conversation Show Appreciation
55. Exiting the Conversation Show Appreciation Make it about you
56. Exiting the Conversation Show Appreciation Make it about you Focus on your goals
57. TAKE THE RISK AND HAVE A CONVERSATION
58. Remember If you want to … Excel at work Be happier Perform better cognitively
59. “Go out on a limb. That’s where all the fruit is.” - Will Rogers
60. Referenced Materials Friends (and Sometimes Enemies) With Cognitive Benefits What Types of Social Interactions Boost Executive Functioning? Oscar Ybarra, Piotr Winkielman, Irene Yeh, Eugene Burnstein, Liam Kavanagh Published in Social Psychological and Personality Science Journal Mistakenly seeking solitude. Schroeder and Nicholas Epley, a behavioral-science professor at the University of Chicago Epley, N., & Schroeder, J. (2014). Mistakenly seeking solitude. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(5), 1980-1999.
61. Friday, September 21, 2018 https://scunconf.com/ “CODECAMP” for 20% off Only works through 6pm on Monday. S f C f U f
62. Contact leahwynn.io @leahvwynn leah.wynn@greatersum.com