Lean has two pillars: continuous improvement, and respect for people. Respect is also one of the core XP values. Most of our processes focus on improvement of delivery, and rely on our instinct where respect is concerned. But how respectful are we, really? Do we even know what respect is? In this talk we look at the many ways in which we instinctively disrespect people, create processes that foster that disrespect, and damage our ability to deliver in the process... but we'll also look at the other side: how we can learn to respect people better, practice respect, and in the end come to respect ourselves more too.