PHONESAVANH INT. DARK, CREEPY CHURCH An elderly woman backs away, frightened. ELDERY WOMAN: S-stay back! Begone, you devil! SAMMAEL ("SAM") emerges from the shadows, screeching claws along the wall. His voice is unnaturally distorted. SAM: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT MARGARET- ELDERY WOMAN:(SCREAMING) Noooooooo-!! A scene parodying horror films plays out, then SAM's finger scrubs back to rewind. It's not happening right now - it's a tiktok, and he rewinds and plays again, laughing. EXT. FRONT OF HIGH SCHOOL, HELL SAM:(LAUGHING) Bro, this vid has 20 millions views! They said she was so scared she had to go to the hospital! Sam walks out of school, with classmates following behind him eagerly like groupies. CLASSMATE 1 "MOLOCH": Sinister, dude! Hey, so...will you follow me back...? SAM:(SCOFFING) No? The others laugh at dejected Moloch as Sam pulls away from them. As he walks down the path, he is flanked by an admiring crowd on both sides. CLASSMATE 2: Dude, you're the baddest!! TEACHER: Sam! Great work today! CLASSMATE 3: Hey Sam...;) JANITOR: Will you sign my broom? Sam just waves to his admiring fans, then holds up his phone (like a selfie) and goes live while walking.
Baddest Guy at CloutDevil666, Underworld High! Can you believe asked me to follow him back? MOLOCH MOLO-WHO?! Anyway, boost my latest vid and subscribe to the channel." While notification bells are going nuts, he steals a soda from a younger kid, shotguns it. SAM: C'MON, let's see those subs - no broke boys in the chat! (BURPS) Anyway, see y'all on my stream tonight. Get lost nerds. Sam beeps his phone off. He crushes the can in his hand and throws over his shoulder (we hear a dog yelp) then looks behind him, back up at the giant HELL SCOREBOARD floating in the sky above the school. We see his name and number tick up to -666,999 and he moves up a place. SAM: Nice. We see scores on the board still rapidly adjusting, and this creates a chain reaction going down - #99 gets knocked off the bottom with a GREEN X and loud buzzer sound. Another student on the school grounds looks at a matching GREEN X on their phone, distraught as their peers back away, ostracizing them instantly. Sam watches from across the street, then turns away (maybe a tinge of guilt?) and continues home. EXT. AROUND THE CORNER, SAM'S STRBEET SAM'S DAD:(IRATE) Did you start a fire at the Sammael! San Diego Zoo? His dad is in front of their house, having just parked in the driveway. He's wearing a suit and tie. SAM: Uhhh... DAD: In the endangered condor exhibit?! SAM: Yes...? DAD: That's my boy! Your dad didn't raise a quitter!
back and walks him inside. INT. LIVING ROOM Sam follows, throws his bag down and kicks his shoes off. DAD: Your mother and I are going to the goat sacrifice at 6, let's get ready to go- SAM:(AWKWARD) Ah...you know - you guys go on without me, Imma stay back get some rest- DAD:(SLIGHTLY DEJECTED) But bathing in the blood is your favorite part! SAM: (sucks air) Yeah, I know! But - I just did evil at school today...and so much I have an anti-exorcism test in the morning... DAD: Well, alright...but clean your room while we're gone. SAM:(FLATLY) Why would I do that? DAD: (BEAMING) That's my boy. Dad grabs a coat and walks out. Sam waits awkwardly as he leaves - once the coast is clear, he sighs, exhausted, immediately losing his cool demeanor. He rubs his eyes and slumps to his room. INT. SAM'S GROSS MESSY TEENAGE BOY ROOM Sam slams the door shut, checks for anyone outside his window, then closes the curtains tight. He squeezes under his bed and grabs a CD walkman hidden under dirty clothes, puts on headphones and presses play. It's 90s gospelpop. SAM: (Humming along, he doesn't know the words) Jump cuts of him watching some sort of "Is Heaven Real?" conspiracy video on his computer, reading a self-care book, going to his closet and putting on a costume halo bashfully,
Does this look stupid? I kind of like it....no, it's stupid. Opening a school notebook and flipping to the back to draw on hidden pages full of crude angelic drawings and rainbows and flowers. Watching another video (something like ) Veggietales and tearing up, he's super invested in it. Finally, he's looking at himself in the mirror wearing the halo and a white bedsheet when we hear the sound of a car in the driveway again. SAM'S MOM:(YELLING) Sammie? Is that you? Sam is so scared, he jumps up and hits his head - the earbuds fall out and the music gets louder. He panics to hide everything. His mom walks into the living room holding her heels, and yells out to him as she walks down the hall. MOM:(YELLING) Did your father leave for the sacrifice already? I just need to get my mauling shoes - He fumbles turning off the walkman, and shoves everything in the closest just as his mom walks into the room. SAM:(AWKWARD) M-mom! Heyyyyy... MOM:(WITH DISGUST) Did you hear that sound? It awful sounded like...(gags) ... singing SAM: What sound? I didn't hear any... Sam trails off as he sees the halo still on his desk. He shuffles around his mom, maintaining eye contact as he steps to block it from view. MOM: (SUSPICIOUS) What are you up to... She looks over his shoulder at the computer screen. MOM: " "...? Dial 777 for live angel hotline
- oh my satan (panicked laugh) it's so funny! We're pranking this kid at school - it's, , we're gonna yeah put his face in the video and then post it all over school - what a loser, right?! ... Anyway did you see ? my tiktok He's holding the halo crumpled up in one hand behind his back, as his mom snoops around his room. MOM: That's just awful. (a beat, Sammie! then grins) Is it ? Moloch Aamorson That little brat had it coming. I hope his mother drives her ugly car into a lava pit. Her suspicions settled, she walks back to the door. MOM: Ok well, I'm off- She turns away and Sam relaxes - then immediately tense as she turns back to face him from the doorway. MOM: -Are you sure you don't wanna come? We'll save you the heart! SAM: , it's fine...I'm just gonna play NAHHH games and troll some 8 year olds. MOM: Okay, have fun. There's some leftover Basilisks' tongue in the freezer. (A beat) I saw your Soul Score go up on my way home. We're so proud of you, Sammie. Sam pauses for a second, caught off guard - then smiles uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. SAM: (GUILTY) Thanks, Mom... She smiles and closes the door - soon the house goes quiet. Sam sighs, sinks into his computer chair and closes the browser tab - there's a FPS game behind it with a fire and
to look at the squished, destroyed halo. Sam tries to delicately shape the cardboard halo back into place, but he can't do it - it's too crumpled to be saved. Frustrated, he lights it blaze in his hand with a grunt, then tosses the charred remains into his waste basket.
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