This Code Sucks — A Story About Nonviolent Communication

Think about something that happened at work recently. How did it make you feel? Why did it make you feel that way?

Chances are you answered those two questions poorly. Our inability to answer such questions effectively leads us to communicate in ways that are negative and unhelpful.

Let’s explore a day in the life of a fictional programmer who, just like us, means well and wants to do a great job. We’ll use our protagonist’s story to learn about how to honestly express our needs and effectively collaborate in disagreement.

Presented at Ship It! Conf 2017 and Brighton Ruby 2017.

Transcript

1. THIS CODE SUCKS
   A Story About Nonviolent Communication
   Nadia Odunayo
   @nodunayo
   

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2. ALEX
   Senior Engineer
   ignition works
   alex@ignition.works
   

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3. 9.06 AM
   JASON
   

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4. 9.06 AM
   JASON
   Daily Standup
   

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5. 
   JASON
   

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6. –Alex
   “You’re always late these days.”
   JASON
   

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7. 2:30 PM
   CHRIS
   

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8. Code Review
   2:30 PM
   CHRIS
   

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9. 
   CHRIS
   

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10. 
    This.
    Code.
    Sucks.
    CHRIS
    

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11. 
    This.
    Code.
    Sucks.
    CHRIS
    

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12. –Alex
    “Speak to Tanya. Her code is
    great!”
    CHRIS
    

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13. 4:45 PM
    PETER
    

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14. Planning Meeting
    4:45 PM
    PETER
    

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15. 
    PETER
    

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16. I expected
    more.
    PETER
    

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17. I expected
    more.
    It’s not my
    fault…
    PETER
    

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18. –Alex
    “I can’t afford any more delays.”
    PETER
    

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19. 
    Alex
    

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20. 
    Alex
    
    Jason
    

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21. 
    Alex
    
    Jason
    
    Chris
    

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22. 
    Alex
    
    Jason
    
    Chris
    
    Peter
    

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24. How did it make you feel?
    

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25. How did it make you feel?
    Why did it make you feel that way?
    

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26. What did you say?
    

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27. Something happens
    

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28. 
    Something happens
    

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29. Jason cancels
    

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30. 
    Jason cancels
    

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32. 
    Jason made me
    angry by cancelling
    

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34. Something is wrong with you.
    

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35. Something is wrong with you.
    Obviously.
    

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36. Violent Communication
    Something is wrong with you.
    Obviously.
    

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37. “Be kind.”
    

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38. “Be kind.”
    +
    

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40. We need tangible
    strategies
    

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41. NEEDS
    

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43. 
    I need support
    

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44. When our needs are met,
    we may feel…
    When our needs are not met,
    we may feel…
    

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45. When our needs are met,
    we may feel…
    When our needs are not met,
    we may feel…
    ☹
    
    
    
    

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46. When our needs are met,
    we may feel…
    
    
    
    When our needs are not met,
    we may feel…
    ☹
    
    
    
    

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47. Something happens
    

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48. 
    Something happens
    

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49. 
    Something happens
    
    

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50. What is my need?
    

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51. What is my need?
    What might their need be?
    

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52. 9.06 AM
    JASON
    Daily Standup
    

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53. 
    JASON
    

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54. 
    
    JASON
    

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55. RESPECT?
    JASON
    

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56. EFFICACY?
    JASON
    

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57. –Alex
    “I feel annoyed when you miss
    standup because I was hoping
    the team would be clear on
    what they are doing as soon as
    the meeting is over.”
    JASON
    

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58. 2.30 PM
    CHRIS
    Code Review
    

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59. 
    CHRIS
    

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60. 
    
    CHRIS
    

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61. STABILITY?
    CHRIS
    

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62. NURTURING?
    CHRIS
    

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63. SAFETY?
    CHRIS
    

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64. –Alex
    “I was disappointed when I
    didn’t see any tests because I
    want confidence that our
    software is easily maintainable.”
    CHRIS
    

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65. 4.45 PM
    PETER
    Planning Meeting
    

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66. 
    PETER
    

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67. 
    
    PETER
    

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68. TRUST?
    PETER
    

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69. COMMUNICATION?
    PETER
    

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70. –Alex
    “I’m upset because I wanted to
    be able to rely upon your
    words and I was hoping to be
    on top of any change in
    circumstances.”
    PETER
    

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71. Avoid
    communicating
    judgement
    

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72. Start with specific
    observations
    

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73. Recognise underlying
    needs
    and communicate
    those
    

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74. TRANSPARENCY
    

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75. VULNERABILITY
    

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76. 
    
    Alex Jason Chris Peter
    

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77. 
    
    Alex Jason Chris Peter
    

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78. 
    
    Alex Jason Chris Peter
    

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79. Nonviolent
    Communication
    Marshall B. Rosenberg
    by
    

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80. cnvc.org
    

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81. How did it make you feel?
    

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82. How did it make you feel?
    Why did it make you feel that way?
    

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83. How did it make you feel?
    

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84. How did it make you feel?
    What did you need?
    

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85. Thank you!
    Nadia Odunayo
    @nodunayo
    ignition works
    

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