You should not become a developer

In this talk Paul will have a go at explaining the following anecdote:

A software developer is going to the store and her partner tells her, "Buy a bottle of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So she goes, buys everything, and drives back to the house. Upon arrival, her partner angrily asks her, "Why did you get 13 bottle of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"

Transcript

1. “But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. 
 I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.” 
 Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
2. You should not become a developer Paul Ardeleanu @pardel
3. You should NOT become a developer Paul Ardeleanu @pardel
4. A software developer is going to the store and her partner tells her: 
 ”Buy a bottle of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So she goes, buys everything, and drives back to the house. Upon arrival, her partner angrily asks her: ”Why did you get 13 bottles of milk?" 
 The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
6. Don’t try this at home
7. https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicholasjon/4498088305
10. Context
11. Who are you?
12. Why are you here today?
13. Who am I?
14. https://www.flickr.com/photos/cod_gabriel/2149613466
15. Unknown author but… Thank you!
16. Title Text
17. https://www.flickr.com/photos/simici/2188919061
19. https://www.flickr.com/photos/telwink/3797070188
20. https://www.flickr.com/photos/10657705@N00/9197011039
22. https://www.flickr.com/photos/snebtorlife/5165020361
23. https://www.flickr.com/photos/bensutherland/3302494365/
24. https://www.flickr.com/photos/97591625@N00/7020151809
25. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GvRx7XuFcI
26. Title Text
27. https://www.flickr.com/photos/120586634@N05/29587943162
28. • Broadcom BCM2835 @ 1GHz ARM11 core • 512MB of LPDDR2 SDRAM • A micro-SD card slot • A mini-HDMI socket for 1080p60 video output • Micro-USB sockets for data and power • 40-pin GPIO header • 65mm x 30mm x 5mm
29. • Broadcom BCM2835 @ 1GHz ARM11 core • 512MB of LPDDR2 SDRAM • A micro-SD card slot • A mini-HDMI socket for 1080p60 video output • Micro-USB sockets for data and power • 40-pin GPIO header • 65mm x 30mm x 5mm Apollo Guidance Computer (AGC) • 0.043MHz • 64Kbyte of memory • Assembler code converted manually from Luminary • Loaded using punch cards
30. 3rd Golden Rush
31. You should not 
 become a developer
32. Obsolescence
33. Depression
34. Loneliness
35. Self-doubt
36. Bad Health
37. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/21/gamergate-sexism-games-industry-women-trolls
38. (lack of) Passion
39. Thank you! Questions? Paul Ardeleanu @pardel
40. I DO want to 
 become a developer
41. http://stackoverflow.com/research/developer-survey-2016#technology-most-popular-technologies
42. Learning
43. What programming language should you learn first?
46. http://stackoverflow.com/research/developer-survey-2016#technology-most-popular-technologies
47. https://www.flickr.com/photos/nathansmith/4704268314
48. Follow your gut
49. First is always the hardest
50. re: Self-doubt
51. Swift
52. LLVM
53. Know your tools
54. Testing
56. TDD or BDD?
57. To Be Determined
58. Aim for the future
59. Additional skills
60. Sketching
61. Lateral learning
62. Invest in yourself
63. Education system is in trouble
64. Resources
66. “Intelligence” as commodity
67. Pay your dues
68. Mentors
69. Ask for help & feedback
70. Social
71. Play nice with others
72. Meeting people
73. Conferences
75. Coding Bootcamp
76. Hackathons
78. It’s your own business
80. Sustainable business model
81. 0% 25% 50% 75% 100% 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Customer lifetime value Period of usage
82. 0% 25% 50% 75% 100% 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Customer lifetime value Period of usage
83. Be a brand
84. Become unique
86. Morality
88. https://www.flickr.com/photos/vaxzine/3463485198/
90. http://www.pnas.org/content/111/24/8788.full
91. https://www.flickr.com/photos/okokitsme/4337117973
92. #practical
93. https://www.flickr.com/photos/varietystl/15372215258
94. http://www.theverge.com/2012/2/7/2782947/path-ios-app-user-information-collected-privacy
95. https://www.flickr.com/photos/6pocketpixie2/5946809819
96. https://www.flickr.com/photos/fumigraphik/14365706874
98. Title Text
100. https://www.google.com/policies/privacy/archive/20160325-20160628/
101. http://darkpatterns.org/privacy-zuckering/
103. https://www.computer.org/web/education/code-of-ethics
104. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/nov/10/facebook-fake-news-us-election-mark-zuckerberg-donald-trump
105. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath "First do no harm"
106. Future
107. https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicholasjon/4498088305
108. Positive impact
109. https://www.flickr.com/photos/emandernie/6354072295
111. The journey
112. Dream
113. Money
114. A software developer is going to the store and her partner tells her: 
 ”Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So she goes, buys everything, and drives back to the house. Upon arrival, her partner angrily asks her: ”Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" 
 The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
116. https://twitter.com/SciencePorn/status/578075637274955776/
117. Be a human first and a software engineer second
118. Thank you! Paul Ardeleanu @pardel