How to Become a More Interesting Person

How to Become a More Interesting Person

We all want to be seen as charismatic and interesting by peers, colleagues, and dates. But how does one get there? In this presentation, you will get numerous tips on how to (authentically) make people interested in you.

Read more quality content on dating, love, social skills, self-improvement, and more: https://www.livereconnected.com/articles

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Reconnected

July 01, 2020
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Transcript

  1. H O W T O B E C O M

    E M O R E by Julian Reisinger
  2. Hey! Nice to meet you, I'm Julian.

  3. this guy

  4. I am a co-founder, branding expert, and lifestyle strategist at

    Reconnected.
  5. I don’t know about you, but I always wanted to

    be the most interesting guy in the room.
  6. Even as a child. (yes, that cutie is me)

  7. I wanted to be the one others gathered around to

    listen to.
  8. None
  9. I wanted beautiful women to become fascinated by me.

  10. None
  11. And, of course, I wanted to become interesting in order

    to climb the career ladder and become known by the rich, powerful and famous.
  12. None
  13. My motivation to become interesting was clearly fueled by my

    ego.
  14. Yours might be, too. But that’s ok.

  15. Because your ego is a great place to start.

  16. It can provide the initial motivation towards long-term positive change.

  17. Because to become more interesting you need to live an

    interesting life.
  18. A life that YOU find interesting, to be precise.

  19. And that ain’t easy.

  20. See, every one of us is constantly communicating.

  21. PAUL WAT ZLAW I C K One cannot not communicate.

  22. And what you communicate to the world is how it

    perceives you.
  23. I’ll give you an example.

  24. What impression could someone get from the woman on the

    next slide?
  25. None
  26. Designer shades “She probably has money.” Well-kept hair “Hygiene, fashion,

    styling is important to her.” Seems fit “She probably works out a couple of times a week.” Perfect makeup “Maybe she’s a bit superficial.”
  27. You see, even if you don’t say a word, others

    get a lot of clues from just looking at you.
  28. Of course, which clues they get depends on their character,

    upbringing, prior experiences…
  29. Another person could perceive the woman from the image before

    completely differently:
  30. Fake designer shades, “She probably can’t afford the real ones.”

    Bad hair color “I don’t think hazel suits her.” Too much makeup “What is she hiding under there?” Strange blouse “I’d never wear this. She has no fashion sense whatsoever.”
  31. Where one person sees a wealthy model, another sees a

    girl without any fashion sense.
  32. That brings me to my first key lesson.

  33. INTERESTING TO WHOM? You have to accept that you can't

    be interesting to everyone. Some folks will always think you are a bore no matter how hard you try.
  34. So never try to convince these naysayers otherwise. Instead, focus

    on yourself and what you find interesting. INTERESTING TO WHOM?
  35. L E S S O N Try to appeal to

    everyone and you’ll end up appealing to no one.
  36. Ok, now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s dive right

    in and talk about 8 ways to become more interesting.
  37. None
  38. Some of them may be more your style than others

    and that’s perfectly normal.
  39. Just pick the ones that seem to fit your personality

    well.
  40. Let’s get started with the first one.

  41. 1. CONTRAST Contrast is a mismatch between how you expect

    a person to be and what they present to you. There are numerous ways to apply contrast.
  42. For example, imagine a nerdy and strict math teacher who,

    one day, reveals a huge back tattoo and makes you wonder, “What other surprises does she have in store?”
  43. Let's apply the principle of Contrast to another example.

  44. Humans are full of stereotypes.

  45. E.g., most people’d expect an investment banker to be male,

    wear a suit, live in a modern downtown apartment, work long hours, and dine at exclusive restaurants. Most people would expect an investment banker to be male, wear a suit, live in a modern downtown apartment, work long hours, and dine at exclusive restaurants.
  46. Contrast is created whenever you can challenge a stereotype.

  47. Now, what could challenge the stereotype of the wealthy, calculating

    banker in our example?
  48. Here comes text over image text that looks really sexy.

    How about a banker who takes his clients and colleagues on home-made picnics instead of stiff dinners?
  49. Here comes text over image text that looks really sexy.

    Or how about one who refuses to carry a smartphone?
  50. The reaction you want to aim for is, "Maybe he's

    not like the others."
  51. The reaction you want to aim for is, "Maybe he's

    not like the others." C UR I O S I T Y / MY S T E RY BREA K ING TH E MO LD + = CO N TRAST = IN TERESTIN G
  52. L E S S O N Make people misjudge you

    and you'll be perceived as interesting.
  53. 2. EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES Whenever you do something that others won't

    do or are unable to do, like sing in front of a crowd, you win their respect and their interest.
  54. For example, a friend of mine spent the last two

    years traveling from Austria to India over the land route, all by himself.
  55. He made many detours and stops in Armenia, Turkey, Laos,

    and Iran. He hardly brought any money and only got by with jobs he discovered on the road.
  56. Personally, I'd never do what he did. I'd be so

    scared. That’s why I’m one of the many people who hang on to his every word when he talks about his adventures.
  57. L E S S O N Do things that are

    too hard or scary for most people and you’ll be interesting. Period.
  58. 3. RARE OR UNUSUAL In our world, rare is good.

    Just as the rarest metals are the most valuable, rare achievements, traits, and possessions spark everyone's interest.
  59. So what do I mean by rare? Here are some

    examples:
  60. Being the star in a movie is rare. So is

    owning a Yacht. So is looking like a model. And so is being able to play the guitar like Santana.
  61. Rare can also relate to eccentric hobbies. A friend of

    mine owns 18 terrariums and hosts bird spiders in them. They are on display in his living room. T H AT ’ S A N AC T U A L P HOTO OF HI S TE R R A R I U M S
  62. Most people who he talks to think the spiders are

    gross and they’d never want any in their home.
  63. But everyone, without exception, finds the spiders fascinating and asks

    question after question about them.
  64. They even relate emotionally with questions like, “Aren’t you afraid

    they will escape and bite you in your sleep?”
  65. L E S S O N Do you have something

    that most people don't have? Show it. Talk about it. Embody it.
  66. 4. LEADING INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING Most people hate decision making

    and taking on responsibility. That's why following is so much easier than leading.
  67. Truly interesting people, however, are only concerned with doing what

    they find interesting, no matter if someone's joining them or not. “Woohoo!!! Why did I ever think I need others to have fun?”
  68. What's funny is that humans usually find what others do

    more interesting than what they themselves do. You can see this all the time with children.
  69. L E S S O N Do things alone and

    have fun. Soon you’ll become irresistibly interesting to others who will want to join in.
  70. 5. NOVELTY I remember vividly when the first iPhone came

    out in Austria and I bought one pretty early. It was the first smartphone in my circle of friends.
  71. Believe me, for a while, everyone wanted to hold my

    phone, touch it, play with it, or just watch me use it.
  72. It was something magical that no one had ever seen

    before. Whenever the screen lit up so did the eyes of everyone around.
  73. Interestingly, even remixes of old stuff and vintage items are

    perceived as novel. Just think of the record player hype or the rise of Electro Swing, a new music genre.
  74. (Completely off topic, but if you’ve never listened to Electro

    Swing, make sure to check out the awesome band Parov Stelar)
  75. So how can you apply novelty practically?

  76. Got a drone? Tell people who have never flown one

    what it feels like. Or better yet, let them fly it.
  77. Ever tried a VR headset? Tell VR virgins what it

    was like.
  78. Ever flew in an A380? Most people would love to,

    some day, but in the meantime they want to hear all about it.
  79. L E S S O N If you have something

    that's brand new or vintage, let others know about it. Novel is interesting.
  80. 6. BREAKING OUT OF YOUR ROUTINE Surrounding yourself with the

    same people and places day in and day out makes you boring.
  81. Why is that?

  82. Because, over time, you learned everything there was to learn

    about these people and places and now there is nothing left that's new or surprising to you.
  83. Every story is already known, every activity repeated time and

    again. You start boring yourself just talking about it. (and thus won’t talk in an interesting and engaging fashion)
  84. If you know this feeling, then it's time for a

    little break.
  85. By far the most popular way to break out of

    your usual environment is travel. It forces you to leave your comfort zone, make new experiences, and meet new people, especially when you travel alone.
  86. But not everyone is a huge fan of venturing out

    on their own.
  87. Fortunately, there are other ways to refresh your lifestyle.

  88. One of my favorites is changing the routes in your

    life.
  89. You probably take the same route to work or school

    every day because it's the fastest way.
  90. On your route, I bet you pass all kinds of

    interesting things.
  91. But you might not see them if you just try

    to get from point A to point B as fast as possible.
  92. When you miss out on seeing those new things, you

    don’t have as many interesting things to share.
  93. So, tomorrow, how about you figure out a new route

    to work? Who knows who or what you’ll meet on your way.
  94. L E S S O N Don't live your life

    on autopilot. You'll gain more experiences that will provide you with interesting stories.
  95. 7. AUTHENTICITY People who are unapologetically themselves are interesting. We

    even have a term for them: “true originals”.
  96. A great example of a true original that everyone knows

    is my fellow Austrian, Mr. Universe as well as Mr. Olympia, Terminator, and former Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Attribution: Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA (https:// creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)
  97. Back when he was starting out as an actor, Schwarzenegger

    thought of his German accent as a hindrance to his career. So he started to take accent removal classes. Attribution: Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA (https:// creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)
  98. However, he soon found out that his accent was one

    of the things that made him stand out. What he thought was his biggest disadvantage was actually a major differentiator. Attribution: Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA (https:// creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)
  99. AR N O L D SCH WAR Z E NE

    G G E R The things that the agent said will be a detriment and will be impossible for me to get a job, all of a sudden became an asset for me.
  100. No matter what your opinion of Arnold is, he certainly

    did a great job of becoming interesting to lots of people.
  101. L E S S O N The things you are

    ashamed of and try to hide are usually the things that make you unique. And others are interested in unique.
  102. 8. REMOVING THE FILTER Many of us prevent every chance

    of being interesting by running what we want to say through a filter that makes sure it's appropriate.
  103. “I’d love to tell her how nervous I was before

    I came here but I don’t want her to think I’m insecure.”
  104. This is a surefire way to filter out everything that's

    interesting about you. Even worse, you prevent others from becoming curious about you.
  105. But all this worry is misplaced because it’s always better

    to say something stupid and apologize afterwards than to censor yourself.
  106. That’s because humans are drawn to emotion.

  107. This is how the emotional wave of your conversational partner

    looks like when you filter yourself: “I work as a senior consultant in a multi-national firm. Mostly, I help family-owned SMEs to delegate management responsibility.”
  108. And this is what it looks like when you just

    say what comes to mind: “Frankly, most of my job is telling others what to do. I love it because even as a child I was a small dictator among my peers.”
  109. L E S S O N Speak your mind more

    often and you’ll be perceived as interesting more often.
  110. Ok. That’s all for today. I hope you found some

    of my tips helpful and can apply them in your own life.
  111. And never forget:

  112. The most interesting people don’t try to be interesting to

    others. Instead, they focus on leading a life that’s interesting to them.
  113. See you around and take care!