You Are Insufficiently Persuasive (RubyConf)

Why can't they see that you're right?

Lack of ability to resolve difference of opinion can transform happy, productive teams into morose cabals of dissidents.

This talk gets to the root of _why_ teams disagree and uses social science research (science!) to foment understanding among programmers.

You'll learn to resolve misunderstandings and negotiate common goals, and turn your shop into a place where everyone can do their best work.

Transcript

1. Nov 2017 @sandimetz Sandi Metz You are insufficiently persuasive
2. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Happiness
3. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017
4. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 email addresses
5. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 33,200 email addresses randomly selected
6. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 33,200 1,318 email addresses randomly selected responded
7. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 33,200 1,318 219 email addresses randomly selected responded unhappiness codes
8. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 33,200 1,318 219 2,280 email addresses randomly selected responded unhappiness codes references to codes
9. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 456,283 33,200 1,318 219 2,280 10.41 email addresses randomly selected responded unhappiness codes references to codes average references per code
10. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 186 Being stuck in problem solving internal 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 63 Feel inadequate with work internal 6 60 Mundane or repetitive task external 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 39 Personal issues – not work related internal 817 out of 2,280
11. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 186 Being stuck in problem solving internal 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 63 Feel inadequate with work internal 6 60 Mundane or repetitive task external 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 39 Personal issues – not work related internal 817 out of 2,280
12. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 6 60 Mundane or repetitive task external 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 528 out of 2,280
13. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 6 60 Mundane or repetitive task external 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 528 out of 2,280
14. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 6 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 469 out of 2,280
15. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 6 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 469 out of 2,280 The problem?
16. @sandimetz Nov 2017 On the Unhappiness of Software Developers Daniel Graziotin, Fabian Fagerholm, Xiaofeng Wang, and Pekka Abrahamsson. 2017 Frequency Cause Category 1 2 152 Time pressure external 3 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 4 71 Under-performing colleague external 5 6 7 57 Unexplained broken code external 8 42 Bad decision making external 9 40 Imposed limitation on development external 10 469 out of 2,280 The problem? Other People!
17. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Persuasion
18. @sandimetz Nov 2017 One perspective
19. @sandimetz Nov 2017
20. @sandimetz Nov 2017
21. @sandimetz Nov 2017 6 Rules
22. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Reciprocity 1
23. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Hare Krishnas in the Carnival Parade,2009" by Capes Treasures CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
24. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Consistency 2
25. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Opening Presents" by Jay Malone CC BY 2.0
26. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Social Proof 3
27. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Six Sheep Staring" by Aad Van Rijn CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
28. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Authority 4
29. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Paggi-9" by Jay Weenig CC BY-NC 2.0
30. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Liking 5
31. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Friends" by Julien Harneis CC BY-SA 2.0
32. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Scarcity 6
33. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Parking Lot" by Jim Pennucci CC BY 2.0
34. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Reciprocity Consistency Social Proof Authority Liking Scarcity
35. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Reciprocity Consistency Social Proof Authority Liking Scarcity Weapons of Influence
36. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Another Perspective
37. @sandimetz Nov 2017
38. @sandimetz Nov 2017
39. @sandimetz Nov 2017 4 Categories
40. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Make People Like You 1
41. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Become genuinely interested in other people. Make People Like You 1.1
42. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Smile. Make People Like You 1.2
43. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language . Make People Like You 1.3
44. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Be a good listener. Make People Like You 1.4
45. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Make People Like You 1.5
46. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Make the other person feel important —and do it sincerely. Make People Like You 1.6
47. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Handling People 2
48. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. 2.1 Handling People
49. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Give honest and sincere appreciation. Handling People 2.2
50. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Arouse in the other person an eager want. Handling People 2.3
51. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Win People To Your Way Of Thinking 3
52. @sandimetz Nov 2017 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 3.1 Win People
53. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. (Never say, “You’re wrong.”) 3.2 Win People
54. @sandimetz Nov 2017 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. 3.3 Win People
55. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Begin in a friendly way. 3.4 Win People
56. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately. 3.5 Win People
57. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. 3.6 Win People
58. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Let the other person feel that the idea is theirs. 3.7 Win People
59. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. 3.8 Win People
60. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. 3.9 Win People
61. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Appeal to the nobler motives. 3.10 Win People
62. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Dramatize your ideas. 3.11 Win People
63. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Throw down a challenge. 3.12 Win People
64. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Be A Leader 4
65. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Begin with praise and honest appreciation. 4.1 Be A Leader
66. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Be A Leader 4.2
67. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. 4.3 Be A Leader
68. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. 4.4 Be A Leader
69. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Let the other person save face. 4.5 Be A Leader
70. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Praise the slightest improvement. 4.6 Be A Leader
71. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. 4.7 Be A Leader
72. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Use encouragement. 4.8 Be A Leader
73. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. 4.9 Be A Leader
74. @sandimetz Nov 2017
75. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Act as if others are interesting and you will eventually find them so.
76. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Act as if others are interesting and you will eventually find them so. - Sarah Mei
77. @sandimetz Nov 2017 It's not about them.
78. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "mirror, mirror" by samuelinho CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
79. @sandimetz Nov 2017 It's about you. "mirror, mirror" by samuelinho CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
80. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Make People Like You Handle People Respectfully Win People Over Be A Leader
81. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Frequency Cause Category 152 Time pressure external 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 71 Under-performing colleague external 57 Unexplained broken code external 42 Bad decision making external 40 Imposed limitation on development external
82. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Frequency Cause Category 152 Time pressure external 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 71 Under-performing colleague external 57 Unexplained broken code external 42 Bad decision making external 40 Imposed limitation on development external People
83. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Frequency Cause Category 152 Time pressure external 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 71 Under-performing colleague external 57 Unexplained broken code external 42 Bad decision making external 40 Imposed limitation on development external People
84. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Frequency Cause Category 152 Time pressure external 107 Bad code quality and coding practice external 71 Under-performing colleague external 57 Unexplained broken code external 42 Bad decision making external 40 Imposed limitation on development external People
85. @sandimetz Nov 2017 How do you know you're right?
86. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Ends vs Means
87. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Motivation
88. @sandimetz Nov 2017
89. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "first steps" by Morten Siebuhr CC BY-NC 2.0
90. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "first steps" by Morten Siebuhr CC BY-NC 2.0 Autonomy
91. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Girls on Boards" by Max Khokhlov CC BY-ND 2.0
92. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Girls on Boards" by Max Khokhlov CC BY-ND 2.0 Mastery
93. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Joppa Blitz"by Brian's Dallas Habitat For Humanity Photos CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
94. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Joppa Blitz"by Brian's Dallas Habitat For Humanity Photos CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 Purpose
95. @sandimetz Nov 2017
96. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Teamwork
97. @sandimetz Nov 2017
98. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Project Aristotle
99. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Project Aristotle
100. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Emotional Intelligence of Groups
101. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "equality in distribution of conversational turn-taking"
102. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "average social sensitivity"
103. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Psychological Safety
104. @sandimetz Nov 2017 "Opening Presents" by Jay Malone CC BY 2.0
105. @sandimetz Nov 2017
106. @sandimetz Nov 2017
107. @sandimetz Nov 2017
108. @sandimetz Nov 2017
109. @sandimetz Nov 2017
110. @sandimetz Nov 2017
111. @sandimetz Nov 2017
112. @sandimetz Nov 2017 You Are
113. @sandimetz Nov 2017 You Are
114. @sandimetz Nov 2017 You Are Good Enough
115. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Collaborate
116. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Build The Best Team
117. @sandimetz Nov 2017 Be Your Best Self
118. @sandimetz Thanks Nov 2017
119. @sandimetz References Nov 2017 https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/53vb4z/are-software-developers-miserable https://arxiv.org/pdf/1703.04993.pdf http://changingminds.org/ https://www.influenceatwork.com/principles-of-persuasion/ http://www.dalecarnegie.ca/ https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/02/science-people-really-do-take-longer-leaving-a- parking-spot-when-youre-waiting-for-it/71439/ http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1997.tb00661.x/abstract https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect- team.html https://rework.withgoogle.com/subjects/teams/ https://hbr.org/product/harvard-business-review-january-february-2016/BR1601-MAG-ENG
120. @sandimetz Credits Nov 2017 “Tabby Giggle Red” by Anna Leask CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/annaleask/6444417905/) “Having a laugh” by David Merrigan CC BY-NC 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/daveograve/3957715961/) “Laugh as the Sun comes” by Gregory Gill CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/gagillphoto/3336353424/) “Baby catch” by Shawn Anderson CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/drakelelane/96242961/) “Laughing” by Jordan Dent CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/creationcast/3003668258/) “Laughing” by Santita Dwi Putri CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sputri1/2617244006/) “Laughing” by MichelleNMS CC BY-NC 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mnmorgan/3783186588/) “laughing ladies” by schwa021 CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaelhschwartz/33399737755/)
121. @sandimetz http://poodr.com Nov 2017
122. @sandimetz http://99bottlesbook.com Nov 2017
123. @sandimetz Sandi Metz @sandimetz http://sandimetz.com Nov 2017