Don't use Git

Are you using Subversion or CVS? That's great, whatever you do, don't migrate to Git! Git makes you work overtime, confuses developers with too many options, destroys the social interaction with your co-workers and much more. Git has unnecessary features like offline commits and cherry picking that nobody needs at his day job. Your code is the most important thing for your software development and you should use a mature technology for storing it. Let the kids play around with Git.
In this ironic lightning talk I will give you 5 reasons, why you shouldn't use Git always with a twinkle in the eye. So create a new branch in SVN and come to my session while you checkout the branch.

Transcript

1. DON'T USE GIT @svenpet
2. THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION IS CONTAINING SARCASTIC CONTENT THE PRESENTER LOVES GIT AND APOLOGIES FOR ANY CONFUSION BEFOREHAND IRONY R Hypersensitivity to occasional profanity requires covering ears. OCCASIONAL PROFANITY (SORRY MOM!)
3. Sven Peters Atlassian Ambassador @svenpet svenpet.com
4. SV Atlassian Ambassador TODAY I'M JUST N E
5. SV Atlassian Ambassador N TODAY I'M JUST
7. IT'S A DISEASE
8. Unnecessary Products
9. BIC UNDERWEAR
10. PETWATER
11. J2EE thanks SUN
12. NOW AND
13. LINUX
14. SOURCE OPEN made for hippies
15. WORKING OFFLINE 1 GIT PROPAGANDA
16. BROWSING HISTORY IS LIGHTNING FAST GIT PROPAGANDA
17. WORKING OFFLINE DISCONNECTED =
18. CONNECT WITH YOUR TEAM IN THE OFFICE
19. DISCONNECTS US
20. BRANCHING IS CHEAP 2 GIT PROPAGANDA
21. FEATURES BRANCHES CLEANER DEVELOPMENT WITH GIT PROPAGANDA
22. master DEVELOP 1.1 hotfix REALEASE 1.1.2
23. BRANCHING IS CHEAP TOO COMPLICATED BUT for developers
24. IS ENOUGH ONE BRANCH users can try out and find bugs in half finished features worked for years
25. NEVER CHANGE A RUNNING SYSTEM
26. IS TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS THAT WORK
27. BRANCHING IS FAST 3 GIT PROPAGANDA
28. GIT PROPAGANDA YOU CREATE BRANCHES LOCALLY that's lightning fast
29. BRANCHING IS FAST TIME FOR A BREAK BUT NO NATURAL
30. CHECKOUT BRANCH CODE
31. CHECKOUT BRANCH CODE
32. CHECKOUT get a coffee and meet people chat with team mates about the weekends check Facebook During
33. MAKES YOU UNSOCIAL
34. MANY POSSIBILITIES 4 GIT PROPAGANDA
35. STAGING AREA LOCAL BRANCH REMOTE BRANCH STAGE COMMIT PUSH GIT PROPAGANDA
36. COMMIT
37. MANY POSSIBILITIES NO ACCIDENTALLY COMMITS MEANS
39. WHERE IS THE FUN?
40. IS LESS FUN & BORING
41. EASY MERGING 5 GIT PROPAGANDA
42. MERGING JUST WORKS git merge that's it GIT PROPAGANDA
43. EASY MERGING TEAM EXPERIENCE MEANS NO
44. Let's merge now
45. MERGE CONFLICT CONVERSATIONS BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER
46. IS DESTROYING TEAMS
47. DON'T LET YOUR CHILDREN GROW UP IN A WORLD OF ! ! ! DISTRIBUTED VERSION CONTROL SYSTEMS
48. Thanks! @svenpet svenpet.com/talks