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Cultural Red Pills and Blue Pills

Tal Raviv
January 15, 2019
510

Cultural Red Pills and Blue Pills

Tal Raviv

January 15, 2019
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  1. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Cultural
    Red Pills
    and
    Blue Pills

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  2. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Here’s a way I see people personalities

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  3. @talraviv
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    Pardon the analogy,

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  4. @talraviv
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    Pardon the analogy,
    I can’t think of a better one

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  5. @talraviv
    talraviv.org

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  6. @talraviv
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    There’s two sides

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  7. @talraviv
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    Fine, it’s more of a spectrum

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  8. @talraviv
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  9. @talraviv
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    I don’t have a word for it.
    It’s groupings of behaviors.

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  10. @talraviv
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  11. @talraviv
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    I’ve met people everywhere along it.

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  12. @talraviv
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    In every culture, ethnicity, nationality,
    you’ll find people everywhere on this
    spectrum.

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  13. @talraviv
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    so here are
    my clusters

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  14. @talraviv
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    in terms of what a
    video camera
    could capture

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  15. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy

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  16. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy
    not entirelyyyy objective

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  17. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy
    not entirelyyyy objective
    but going ahead anyways

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  18. @talraviv
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    Indirect

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  19. @talraviv
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    Direct

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  20. @talraviv
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    Niceties

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  21. @talraviv
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    Down to business

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  22. @talraviv
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    Careful not to offend

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  23. @talraviv
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    No filter

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  24. @talraviv
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    Calm

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  25. @talraviv
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    Passionate

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  26. @talraviv
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    Serious

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  27. @talraviv
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    Belly laughs

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  28. @talraviv
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    Avoid confrontation

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  29. @talraviv
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    Debates often

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  30. @talraviv
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    Space

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  31. @talraviv
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    Affectionate

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  32. @talraviv
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    Respect rules

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  33. @talraviv
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    Improvisation

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  34. @talraviv
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    Respect authority in the open

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  35. @talraviv
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    Openly question authority

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  36. @talraviv
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    Seek permission

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  37. @talraviv
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    Take initiative

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  38. @talraviv
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    Important not to step on toes

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  39. @talraviv
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    Important to assert

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  40. @talraviv
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    “That’s interesting”

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  41. @talraviv
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    “Nah”

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  42. @talraviv
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    Focus on agreement

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  43. @talraviv
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    Focus on differences

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  44. @talraviv
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    Start by apologizing
    but not deeply

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  45. @talraviv
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    Start by confronting
    but not deeply

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  46. @talraviv
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    Ask how you’re doing
    as small talk

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  47. @talraviv
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    Don’t ask how you’re doing
    unless they deeply care

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  48. @talraviv
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    Important to be agreeable

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  49. @talraviv
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    Important to be candid

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  50. @talraviv
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    Hard to recover from arguing

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  51. @talraviv
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    Quick to recover from arguing

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  52. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.

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  53. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.
    Maybe some regions.

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  54. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.
    Maybe some regions.
    Maybe some groups

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  55. @talraviv
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    I’ve learned this is everywhere

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  56. @talraviv
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    NASA Blue Marble series flickr.com/photos/gsfc

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  57. @talraviv
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    Here’s one example

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  58. @talraviv
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    Here’s one example
    from a movie that set the record for highest
    grossing romantic comedy of all time

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  59. @talraviv
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    Text
    My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002

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  60. @talraviv
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    Text Text
    My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002

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  61. @talraviv
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    Think about regions of the United States
    you’re familiar with

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  62. @talraviv
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    Think about places you’ve traveled
    …and misunderstandings you’ve had

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  63. @talraviv
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    Think about ethnicities outside your own
    that you gravitate towards
    …or have trouble connecting with.

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  64. @talraviv
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    This spectrum matters a lot.

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  65. @talraviv
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    This spectrum matters a lot.
    And it’s a source of a lot of misunderstanding,
    stress, and friction.

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  66. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,

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  67. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,

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  68. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,
    the more diverse the mix

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  69. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,
    the more diverse the mix
    the more I see this
    as a source of interpersonal friction

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  70. @talraviv
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    Because

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  71. @talraviv
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    heres how people
    view each other

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  72. @talraviv
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    Insensitive

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  73. @talraviv
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    Childish

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  74. @talraviv
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    Impulsive

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  75. @talraviv
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    Wild

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  76. @talraviv
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    Hide their feelings

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  77. @talraviv
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    Hypocritical

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  78. @talraviv
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    Patronizing

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  79. @talraviv
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    Rigid

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  80. @talraviv
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    heres the deal though

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  81. @talraviv
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    its actually a range

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  82. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum

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  83. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum

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  84. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum

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  85. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum

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  86. @talraviv
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    But to be more accurate

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  87. @talraviv
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    Everyone is more of a range
    {

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  88. @talraviv
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    Meaning, if you felt that the descriptors
    weren’t mutually exclusive - you’re right.
    {

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  89. @talraviv
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    You might be great knowing when to be here
    {

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  90. @talraviv
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    You might be great knowing when to be here
    and when to be here
    {

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  91. @talraviv
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    {

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  92. @talraviv
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    {

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  93. @talraviv
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    You may be here
    with your close
    friends & family
    {

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  94. @talraviv
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    And here at
    work
    {

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  95. @talraviv
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    you may be here
    when the system
    works in your
    favor
    {

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  96. @talraviv
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    and here when
    you need to rely
    on yourself
    {

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  97. @talraviv
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    I am here when
    I’m at work in
    San Francisco
    {

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  98. @talraviv
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    and I hop over here
    with professional
    contacts in Israel
    {

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  99. @talraviv
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    message 1
    just be aware

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  100. @talraviv
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    I don’t have much to say other than

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  101. @talraviv
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    know this spectrum exists

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  102. @talraviv
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    know that if you think you’re better

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  103. @talraviv
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    someone is also pretty sure
    they’re better than you

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  104. @talraviv
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    and we’re all humans

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  105. @talraviv
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    I’m saying this as much for myself

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  106. @talraviv
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    Before I started this deck, this was originally a
    pretty judgmental dichotomy in my mind

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  107. @talraviv
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    I grew up on the east coast in an Israeli family

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  108. @talraviv
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    In college I laughed the most with Arab classmates

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  109. @talraviv
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    in San Francisco I room with Europeans

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  110. @talraviv
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    And while I expanded my range at work

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  111. @talraviv
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    And learned to say things like “Yes, AND”

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  112. @talraviv
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    I generally connect better with immigrants

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  113. @talraviv
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    (even if they make fun of me for code switching)

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  114. @talraviv
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    so it’s easy for me

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  115. @talraviv
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    so it’s easy for me
    to pick a side of the spectrum
    as “better”

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  116. @talraviv
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    but, damn it, we’re all people

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  117. @talraviv
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    but, damn it, we’re all people
    so I can’t be that lazy

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  118. @talraviv
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    and I know what it’s like
    to be frustrated in the other direction

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  119. @talraviv
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    I’m suuuuuper tempted to judge.

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  120. @talraviv
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    I’m suuuuuper tempted to judge.
    And realized, sigh, I can’t.

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  121. @talraviv
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  122. @talraviv
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    Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
    is judgmental.

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  123. @talraviv
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    Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
    is judgmental.
    Red pill implies “real” or better

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  124. @talraviv
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    Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
    is judgmental.
    Red pill implies “real” or better
    But come on, do I really think one side is more human or
    better or real, and I’m the one to know that?

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  125. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
    is judgmental.
    Red pill implies “real” or better
    But come on, do I really think one side is more human or
    better or real, and I’m the one to know that?
    Damn it, life would be so much easier without duality and
    subtlety.

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  126. @talraviv
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    message 2
    widen your range

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  127. @talraviv
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    whatever your comfort zone
    {

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  128. @talraviv
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    the wider your range
    {

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  129. @talraviv
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    the more situations you can handle
    {

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  130. @talraviv
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    the more people you can connect with
    {

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  131. @talraviv
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    If people here could move a little right
    {

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  132. @talraviv
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    They may get more effective
    in some situations
    {

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  133. @talraviv
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    If people here could expand a little left
    {

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  134. @talraviv
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    They might improve their lives
    without giving too much up
    {

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  135. @talraviv
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    It took me a while to learn

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  136. @talraviv
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    When I worked in Israel I played the wrong
    side of the spectrum at the wrong time

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  137. @talraviv
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    To think of it, that definitely happened
    at work in San Francisco

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  138. @talraviv
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    Over time I’ve learned the art
    of playing my range at the right times

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  139. @talraviv
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    • I ask blunt questions
    • I call bullshit
    • I invite disagreement
    …AND get along after

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  140. @talraviv
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    I can take a deep breath and
    write non-confrontational
    (yet effective)
    fluff like this

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  141. @talraviv
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    (Sometimes I write on behalf of my Israeli
    friends or family to help them when
    responding to Americans)

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  142. @talraviv
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    I told my team once, I learned the secret to
    communication at work is learning to replace
    “whoa whoa whoa whoa wtfffffff”

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  143. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I told my team once, I learned the secret to
    communication at work is learning to replace
    “whoa whoa whoa whoa wtfffffff”
    with
    “that’s awesome! we should talk”

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  144. @talraviv
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    so thats it

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  145. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    know this is a thing

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  146. @talraviv
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    stretch your range

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  147. @talraviv
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    look for this at
    work

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  148. @talraviv
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    look for this in your
    neighborhood

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  149. @talraviv
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    push yourself to
    deal with
    different styles

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  150. @talraviv
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    push yourself to
    deal with
    different styles
    talking to myself here…

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  151. @talraviv
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    have more patience
    for each other

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  152. @talraviv
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    have more patience
    for each other
    talking to myself here…

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  153. @talraviv
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    and keep the
    spectrum in mind

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  154. @talraviv
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    now

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  155. @talraviv
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    this is the part

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  156. @talraviv
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    where i ask you

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  157. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    to subscribe to my mailing list

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  158. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    but its late

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  159. @talraviv
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    and i dont have a clever tie in

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  160. @talraviv
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    so

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  161. @talraviv
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    just subscribe

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  162. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    its great

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  163. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    people love it

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  164. @talraviv
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    if you got this far

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  165. @talraviv
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    you will too

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  166. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    add your email here

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  167. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    talraviv.org

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  168. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    oh look

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  169. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    second wind

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  170. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    just kidding;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  171. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    talraviv.org

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