Cultural Red Pills and Blue Pills

Transcript

1. @talraviv
   talraviv.org
   Cultural
   Red Pills
   and
   Blue Pills
   

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2. @talraviv
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   Here’s a way I see people personalities
   

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3. @talraviv
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   Pardon the analogy,
   

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4. @talraviv
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   Pardon the analogy,
   I can’t think of a better one
   

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5. @talraviv
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6. @talraviv
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   There’s two sides
   

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7. @talraviv
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   Fine, it’s more of a spectrum
   

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8. @talraviv
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9. @talraviv
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   I don’t have a word for it.
   It’s groupings of behaviors.
   

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10. @talraviv
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11. @talraviv
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    I’ve met people everywhere along it.
    

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12. @talraviv
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    In every culture, ethnicity, nationality,
    you’ll find people everywhere on this
    spectrum.
    

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13. @talraviv
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    so here are
    my clusters
    

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14. @talraviv
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    in terms of what a
    video camera
    could capture
    

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15. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy
    

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16. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy
    not entirelyyyy objective
    

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17. @talraviv
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    okayyyyy
    not entirelyyyy objective
    but going ahead anyways
    

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18. @talraviv
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    Indirect
    

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19. @talraviv
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    Direct
    

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20. @talraviv
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    Niceties
    

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21. @talraviv
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    Down to business
    

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22. @talraviv
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    Careful not to offend
    

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23. @talraviv
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    No filter
    

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24. @talraviv
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    Calm
    

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25. @talraviv
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    Passionate
    

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26. @talraviv
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    Serious
    

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27. @talraviv
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    Belly laughs
    

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28. @talraviv
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    Avoid confrontation
    

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29. @talraviv
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    Debates often
    

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30. @talraviv
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    Space
    

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31. @talraviv
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    Affectionate
    

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32. @talraviv
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    Respect rules
    

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33. @talraviv
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    Improvisation
    

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34. @talraviv
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    Respect authority in the open
    

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35. @talraviv
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    Openly question authority
    

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36. @talraviv
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    Seek permission
    

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37. @talraviv
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    Take initiative
    

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38. @talraviv
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    Important not to step on toes
    

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39. @talraviv
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    Important to assert
    

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40. @talraviv
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    “That’s interesting”
    

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41. @talraviv
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    “Nah”
    

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42. @talraviv
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    Focus on agreement
    

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43. @talraviv
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    Focus on differences
    

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44. @talraviv
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    Start by apologizing
    but not deeply
    

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45. @talraviv
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    Start by confronting
    but not deeply
    

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46. @talraviv
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    Ask how you’re doing
    as small talk
    

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47. @talraviv
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    Don’t ask how you’re doing
    unless they deeply care
    

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48. @talraviv
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    Important to be agreeable
    

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49. @talraviv
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    Important to be candid
    

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50. @talraviv
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    Hard to recover from arguing
    

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51. @talraviv
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    Quick to recover from arguing
    

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52. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.
    

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53. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.
    Maybe some regions.
    

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54. @talraviv
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    As you read that, I bet some people came to
    your mind.
    Maybe some regions.
    Maybe some groups
    

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55. @talraviv
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    I’ve learned this is everywhere
    

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56. @talraviv
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    NASA Blue Marble series flickr.com/photos/gsfc
    

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57. @talraviv
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    Here’s one example
    

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58. @talraviv
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    Here’s one example
    from a movie that set the record for highest
    grossing romantic comedy of all time
    

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59. @talraviv
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    Text
    My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002
    

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60. @talraviv
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    Text Text
    My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002
    

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61. @talraviv
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    Think about regions of the United States
    you’re familiar with
    

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62. @talraviv
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    Think about places you’ve traveled
    …and misunderstandings you’ve had
    

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63. @talraviv
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    Think about ethnicities outside your own
    that you gravitate towards
    …or have trouble connecting with.
    

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64. @talraviv
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    This spectrum matters a lot.
    

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65. @talraviv
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    This spectrum matters a lot.
    And it’s a source of a lot of misunderstanding,
    stress, and friction.
    

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66. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    

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67. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,
    

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68. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,
    the more diverse the mix
    

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69. @talraviv
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    The more global the environment,
    the more cultures,
    the more diverse the mix
    the more I see this
    as a source of interpersonal friction
    

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70. @talraviv
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    Because
    

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71. @talraviv
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    heres how people
    view each other
    

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72. @talraviv
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    Insensitive
    

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73. @talraviv
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    Childish
    

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74. @talraviv
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    Impulsive
    

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75. @talraviv
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    Wild
    

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76. @talraviv
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    Hide their feelings
    

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77. @talraviv
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    Hypocritical
    

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78. @talraviv
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    Patronizing
    

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79. @talraviv
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    Rigid
    

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80. @talraviv
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    heres the deal though
    

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81. @talraviv
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    its actually a range
    

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82. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum
    

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83. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum
    

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84. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum
    

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85. @talraviv
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    Any given person
    could be anywhere on this spectrum
    

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86. @talraviv
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    But to be more accurate
    

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87. @talraviv
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    Everyone is more of a range
    {
    

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88. @talraviv
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    Meaning, if you felt that the descriptors
    weren’t mutually exclusive - you’re right.
    {
    

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89. @talraviv
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    You might be great knowing when to be here
    {
    

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90. @talraviv
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    You might be great knowing when to be here
    and when to be here
    {
    

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91. @talraviv
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    {
    

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92. @talraviv
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    {
    

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93. @talraviv
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    You may be here
    with your close
    friends & family
    {
    

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94. @talraviv
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    And here at
    work
    {
    

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95. @talraviv
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    you may be here
    when the system
    works in your
    favor
    {
    

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96. @talraviv
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    and here when
    you need to rely
    on yourself
    {
    

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97. @talraviv
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    I am here when
    I’m at work in
    San Francisco
    {
    

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98. @talraviv
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    and I hop over here
    with professional
    contacts in Israel
    {
    

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99. @talraviv
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    message 1
    just be aware
    

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100. @talraviv
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     I don’t have much to say other than
     

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101. @talraviv
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     know this spectrum exists
     

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102. @talraviv
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     know that if you think you’re better
     

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103. @talraviv
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     someone is also pretty sure
     they’re better than you
     

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104. @talraviv
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     and we’re all humans
     

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105. @talraviv
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     I’m saying this as much for myself
     

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106. @talraviv
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     Before I started this deck, this was originally a
     pretty judgmental dichotomy in my mind
     

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107. @talraviv
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     I grew up on the east coast in an Israeli family
     

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108. @talraviv
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     In college I laughed the most with Arab classmates
     

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109. @talraviv
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     in San Francisco I room with Europeans
     

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110. @talraviv
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     And while I expanded my range at work
     

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111. @talraviv
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     And learned to say things like “Yes, AND”
     

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112. @talraviv
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     I generally connect better with immigrants
     

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113. @talraviv
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     (even if they make fun of me for code switching)
     

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114. @talraviv
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     so it’s easy for me
     

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115. @talraviv
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     so it’s easy for me
     to pick a side of the spectrum
     as “better”
     

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116. @talraviv
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     but, damn it, we’re all people
     

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117. @talraviv
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     but, damn it, we’re all people
     so I can’t be that lazy
     

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118. @talraviv
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     and I know what it’s like
     to be frustrated in the other direction
     

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119. @talraviv
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     I’m suuuuuper tempted to judge.
     

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120. @talraviv
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     I’m suuuuuper tempted to judge.
     And realized, sigh, I can’t.
     

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121. @talraviv
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122. @talraviv
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     Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
     is judgmental.
     

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123. @talraviv
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     Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
     is judgmental.
     Red pill implies “real” or better
     

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124. @talraviv
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     Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
     is judgmental.
     Red pill implies “real” or better
     But come on, do I really think one side is more human or
     better or real, and I’m the one to know that?
     

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125. @talraviv
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     Even my red pill/blue pill analogy
     is judgmental.
     Red pill implies “real” or better
     But come on, do I really think one side is more human or
     better or real, and I’m the one to know that?
     Damn it, life would be so much easier without duality and
     subtlety.
     

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126. @talraviv
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     message 2
     widen your range
     

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127. @talraviv
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     whatever your comfort zone
     {
     

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128. @talraviv
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     the wider your range
     {
     

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129. @talraviv
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     the more situations you can handle
     {
     

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130. @talraviv
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     the more people you can connect with
     {
     

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131. @talraviv
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     If people here could move a little right
     {
     

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132. @talraviv
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     They may get more effective
     in some situations
     {
     

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133. @talraviv
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     If people here could expand a little left
     {
     

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134. @talraviv
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     They might improve their lives
     without giving too much up
     {
     

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135. @talraviv
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     It took me a while to learn
     

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136. @talraviv
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     When I worked in Israel I played the wrong
     side of the spectrum at the wrong time
     

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137. @talraviv
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     To think of it, that definitely happened
     at work in San Francisco
     

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138. @talraviv
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     Over time I’ve learned the art
     of playing my range at the right times
     

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139. @talraviv
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     • I ask blunt questions
     • I call bullshit
     • I invite disagreement
     …AND get along after
     

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140. @talraviv
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     I can take a deep breath and
     write non-confrontational
     (yet effective)
     fluff like this
     

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141. @talraviv
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     (Sometimes I write on behalf of my Israeli
     friends or family to help them when
     responding to Americans)
     

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142. @talraviv
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     I told my team once, I learned the secret to
     communication at work is learning to replace
     “whoa whoa whoa whoa wtfffffff”
     

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143. @talraviv
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     I told my team once, I learned the secret to
     communication at work is learning to replace
     “whoa whoa whoa whoa wtfffffff”
     with
     “that’s awesome! we should talk”
     

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144. @talraviv
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     so thats it
     

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145. @talraviv
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     know this is a thing
     

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146. @talraviv
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     stretch your range
     

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147. @talraviv
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     look for this at
     work
     

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148. @talraviv
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     look for this in your
     neighborhood
     

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149. @talraviv
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     push yourself to
     deal with
     different styles
     

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150. @talraviv
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     push yourself to
     deal with
     different styles
     talking to myself here…
     

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151. @talraviv
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     have more patience
     for each other
     

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152. @talraviv
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     have more patience
     for each other
     talking to myself here…
     

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153. @talraviv
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     and keep the
     spectrum in mind
     

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154. @talraviv
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     now
     

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155. @talraviv
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     this is the part
     

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156. @talraviv
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     where i ask you
     

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157. @talraviv
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     to subscribe to my mailing list
     

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158. @talraviv
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     but its late
     

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159. @talraviv
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     and i dont have a clever tie in
     

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160. @talraviv
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     so
     

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161. @talraviv
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     just subscribe
     

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162. @talraviv
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     its great
     

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163. @talraviv
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     people love it
     

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164. @talraviv
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     if you got this far
     

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165. @talraviv
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     you will too
     

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166. @talraviv
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     add your email here
     

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167. @talraviv
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     talraviv.org
     

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168. @talraviv
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     oh look
     

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169. @talraviv
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     second wind
     

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170. @talraviv
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     just kidding;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     

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171. @talraviv
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     talraviv.org
     

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