Jewish new year (rosh hashana) even though we’re not observant, my dad wanted to go to synagogue I really didn’t feel like it, but I could tell he really wanted to
known for decades, all standing in the same places. Just a little greyer, a little more hunched over, a little taller, a little skinnier, a little chubbier.
known for decades, all standing in the same places. Just a little greyer, a little more hunched over, a little taller, a little skinnier, a little chubbier. The same people. Standing in the same places.
necessarily pick as my friends. These definitely aren’t my parents’ best friends. All we all had in common was that our homes were within walking distance of a particular synagogue.
found ourselves living there in the 90s and 00s. My (secular Israeli) parents bought their first home, and two weeks later the (orthodox) Rabbi and his family moved in literally across the street and started a synagogue nearby.
found ourselves living there in the 90s and 00s. My (secular Israeli) parents bought their first home, and two weeks later the (orthodox) Rabbi and his family moved in literally across the street and started a synagogue nearby.
community. When something happened we all knew and helped. When the rabbi had too many guests visiting town and not enough beds, people stayed at our house.
community. When something happened we all knew and helped. When the rabbi had too many guests visiting town and not enough beds, people stayed at our house. The same kids I played with and fought with in the neighborhood were the ones I’d see on Saturday or eat dinner with Friday night.
right after with Finland, Norway, Denmark, Switzerland, Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia And consistently ahead of the US, UK, France, etc
the annual UN report: “It is especially important to mention that the social support measurement in Israel is exceptionally high, Layard has noted. This is because the Israeli family is more resilient and has disintegrated less than the institution of the family in Europe and the United States. It has remained a major system of identity and support because of the geographical closeness and the close ties between parents and children in Israel – at all ages.” https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-low-incomes-high-prices-and-wars-so-why-are-israelis-so- happy-1.6391253
the annual UN report: “It is especially important to mention that the social support measurement in Israel is exceptionally high, Layard has noted. This is because the Israeli family is more resilient and has disintegrated less than the institution of the family in Europe and the United States. It has remained a major system of identity and support because of the geographical closeness and the close ties between parents and children in Israel – at all ages.” https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-low-incomes-high-prices-and-wars-so-why-are-israelis-so- happy-1.6391253
Unlike my life in the US, Israelis can’t really get too far from their close friends from each phase of life. And this changes the meaning of friendship.
6, 7 or more friends sitting together around a table at a cafe in Tel Aviv… …I feel sad and jealous. I know no matter how many friendships and connections I’ve made in my life, it’ll be a long time before I have that.
of tech, and widening wealth gap. Israelis move to the US/Europe when given the chance. People aren’t staying for altruistic principles. It’s simply not easy to pick up and move.
life measured in years reasons bigger than you people you didn’t choose weaker ties shared interests all people you like your work life measured in years stronger ties
life measured in years reasons bigger than you people you didn’t choose your personal life weaker ties shared interests all people you like your work life measured in years stronger ties
quickly people befriend and embrace you the weaker the constraint, the longer it takes to warm up to you e.g. new jiu jitsu gym or neighbors in a big city
quickly people befriend and embrace you the weaker the constraint, the longer it takes to warm up to you e.g. new jiu jitsu gym or neighbors in a big city the stronger the constraint, the faster they get to know you e.g. kids preschool, niche religious community
a great education I work in a thriving industry where it’s normal to jump around I’m male, white, straight, and I have a US passport I’m atheist/liberal/humanist/millenial bla bla bla
I have work happy hour, then soul cycle, then burning man camp meetings, then like five birthdays this weekend, and I’m in charge of co-op dinner this week.”
your surroundings can you count on being there for you if you had a vulnerable, life-altering event and needed major, inconvenient help and support? Or simpler, how many of those people can you count on to be there for you in 20 years?
of my optionality? As someone who’s grown up with strong implicit individualism, and constantly processing how do I keep all options open… …how do I do this?
island in the mideast, took a ~30% salary cut, pay SF-level taxes and prices, and deal with new types of shit. omg the internet here is slow also, politics, security, and inequalities…
to last decades - or just a few years’ cycle. Is your community defined by a constraint that’s not simple to get out of? If by choice, has your community been around for decades before you came along? Have individuals been dedicating themselves for decades? first look at your life now
Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail. Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub. start looking for constraints
Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail. Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub. Be okay with closing some doors and sacrificing options. State out loud what you’re giving up. Is it money? Is it career heights? Potential career paths? start looking for constraints
Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail. Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub. Be okay with closing some doors and sacrificing options. State out loud what you’re giving up. Is it money? Is it career heights? Potential career paths? Don’t overhaul your life. Make small changes over time. In my case of moving to Tel Aviv, I work in the same industry, fluent in the language, have extended family, and my parents visit them a ton, so it’s less dramatic than it might seem. Maybe from here I should start going to synagogue? Or have kids so they can go to preschool? Or move to a smaller town in the desert/up north? People in my family have done both. But not all at once. start looking for constraints
to my parents health-wise. It would be awful. But it would give me the easiest decision as far as where to move. And where to settle.” “And then I wonder: why am I waiting for a tragedy?”
hard. Another close friend who left SF framed it: “By moving to [new region] I’m gonna have fewer business opportunities than before.” “So I ask myself, how much money would someone have to pay me to undo the decision and move back to SF?”
hard. Another close friend who left SF framed it: “By moving to [new region] I’m gonna have fewer business opportunities than before.” “So I ask myself, how much money would someone have to pay me to undo the decision and move back to SF?” “…it would have to be a lot of money. Like 10x more than I’m giving up.”
human and beautiful parts of life, art, creativity, family, love, relationships, identity… etc. they also thrive on limitations, difficulties, collective crisis,
human and beautiful parts of life, art, creativity, family, love, relationships, identity… etc. they also thrive on limitations, difficulties, collective crisis, times of need,
human and beautiful parts of life, art, creativity, family, love, relationships, identity… etc. they also thrive on limitations, difficulties, collective crisis, times of need, disasters,
human and beautiful parts of life, art, creativity, family, love, relationships, identity… etc. they also thrive on limitations, difficulties, collective crisis, times of need, disasters, lack of resources, etc.
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