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More Constraints Please

Tal Raviv
October 15, 2019

More Constraints Please

Tal Raviv

October 15, 2019
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  1. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    more
    constraints
    please

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  2. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    here’s america

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  3. @talraviv
    talraviv.org

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  4. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    my bad, michigan

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  5. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I grew up here

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  6. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I made a bunch of close friends

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  7. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    then we all went to college

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  8. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    several hours’ flights away from each other

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  9. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I studied here

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  10. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I made a bunch of close friends

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  11. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    then we got jobs

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  12. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    several hours’ flights away from each other

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  13. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    eventually I got a job here

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  14. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    made a few close friends

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  15. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and reconnected with some old friends

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  16. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    over the years some left

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  17. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    while other friends moved in

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  18. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    you get the picture

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  19. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and while I have friends all over the country

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  20. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  21. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  22. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  23. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  24. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  25. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this continues year after year

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  26. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not to mention distance
    from my parents and sisters

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  27. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not even mentioning extended family,
    who are on a totally different continent

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  28. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    it’s exhausting

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  29. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I got good at making friends fast

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  30. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    while staying in touch with old friends tapered off
    with once-a-year phone calls at best

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  31. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    sigh

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  32. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    now a story

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  33. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    A couple years back I visited home on
    Jewish new year (rosh hashana)

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  34. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    A couple years back I visited home on
    Jewish new year (rosh hashana)
    even though we’re not observant, my
    dad wanted to go to synagogue

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  35. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    A couple years back I visited home on
    Jewish new year (rosh hashana)
    even though we’re not observant, my
    dad wanted to go to synagogue
    I really didn’t feel like it, but I could tell
    he really wanted to

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  36. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I hadn’t been in what felt like a decade

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  37. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I hadn’t been in what felt like a decade
    and I didn’t have the energy that day to
    see ALL these people from way back

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  38. @talraviv
    talraviv.org

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  39. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We arrived mid-service (as a family
    we’ve never arrived on time to anything
    related to Judaism)

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  40. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We arrived mid-service (as a family
    we’ve never arrived on time to anything
    related to Judaism)
    And I looked around and felt something
    really really strong

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  41. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We arrived mid-service (as a family
    we’ve never arrived on time to anything
    related to Judaism)
    And I looked around and felt something
    really really strong
    (No, it wasn’t the almighty, relax)

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  42. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    It was the feeling of seeing people I’d
    known for decades, all standing in the
    same places.

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  43. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    It was the feeling of seeing people I’d
    known for decades, all standing in the
    same places.
    Just a little greyer, a little more hunched
    over, a little taller, a little skinnier, a little
    chubbier.

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  44. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    It was the feeling of seeing people I’d
    known for decades, all standing in the
    same places.
    Just a little greyer, a little more hunched
    over, a little taller, a little skinnier, a little
    chubbier.
    The same people. Standing in the same
    places.

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  45. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    It really touched me that I could
    experience seeing something like that.
    It felt very… human.

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  46. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And here’s the thing…
    These aren’t people I’d necessarily pick as
    my friends.

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  47. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And here’s the thing…
    These aren’t people I’d necessarily pick as
    my friends.
    These definitely aren’t my parents’ best
    friends.

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  48. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And here’s the thing…
    These aren’t people I’d necessarily pick as
    my friends.
    These definitely aren’t my parents’ best
    friends.
    All we all had in common was that our
    homes were within walking distance of a
    particular synagogue.

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  49. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    For my family, it was total coincidence we
    found ourselves living there in the 90s and
    00s.

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  50. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    For my family, it was total coincidence we
    found ourselves living there in the 90s and
    00s.
    My (secular Israeli) parents bought their
    first home, and two weeks later the
    (orthodox) Rabbi and his family moved in
    literally across the street and started a
    synagogue nearby.

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  51. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    For my family, it was total coincidence we
    found ourselves living there in the 90s and
    00s.
    My (secular Israeli) parents bought their
    first home, and two weeks later the
    (orthodox) Rabbi and his family moved in
    literally across the street and started a
    synagogue nearby.

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  52. @talraviv
    talraviv.org

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  53. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And that’s how we became part of a community.

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  54. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And that’s how we became part of a community.
    When something happened we all knew and
    helped.

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  55. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And that’s how we became part of a community.
    When something happened we all knew and
    helped.
    When the rabbi had too many guests visiting town
    and not enough beds, people stayed at our house.

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  56. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And that’s how we became part of a community.
    When something happened we all knew and
    helped.
    When the rabbi had too many guests visiting town
    and not enough beds, people stayed at our house.
    The same kids I played with and fought with in the
    neighborhood were the ones I’d see on Saturday or
    eat dinner with Friday night.

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  57. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community

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  58. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    …is the most overused word
    among techies.

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  59. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means

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  60. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means

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  61. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    ………..

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  62. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    well

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  63. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    I read a few definitions online and they all suck

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  64. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    I’m not gonna try to define for you
    what community feels like

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  65. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    It feels good and human

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  66. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    It feels good and human

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  67. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and the stronger the community
    the good-er and human-er it feels

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  68. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and the stronger the community
    the good-er and human-er it feels

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  69. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and the stronger the community
    the good-er and human-er it feels
    ok fine

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  70. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and the stronger the community
    the good-er and human-er it feels
    ok fine
    to me it means people you
    truly count on to show up for you

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  71. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and the stronger the community
    the good-er and human-er it feels
    ok fine
    to me it means people you
    truly count on to show up for you
    and it wouldn’t be weird

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  72. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community means
    and I think that level of showing up comes from
    knowing the people around you
    a long time

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  73. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    now an
    observation

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  74. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    now an
    observation
    by the UN
    UN

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  75. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this is Israel

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  76. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    scale: roughly New Jersey or New Hampshire

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  77. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Israel is a pretty constrained place.
    It’s an island, effectively.

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  78. @talraviv
    talraviv.org

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  79. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not
    best
    friends

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  80. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not best friends
    not
    best
    friends

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  81. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not best friends
    not best friends
    not
    best
    friends

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  82. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not best friends
    not best friends
    not best friends
    not
    best
    friends

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  83. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    not best friends
    not best friends
    not best friends
    not
    best
    friends
    jellyfish

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  84. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    This is an enormous burden on everyone,
    in so many ways

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  85. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And yet, Israel is one of
    the happiest places to live.

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  86. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    like, in the world

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  87. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    The United Nations Happiness Report
    consistently ranks Israel right after with
    Finland, Norway, Denmark, Switzerland,
    Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, and
    Australia
    And consistently ahead
    of the US, UK, France, etc

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  88. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Israel’s got toooooons of problems.

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  89. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And it’s not exactly your homogeneous
    northern European country.
    https://www.brookings.edu/articles/diversity-in-israel-lessons-for-the-united-states/

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  90. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Prof. Layard is one of the authors of the annual
    UN report:
    “It is especially important to mention that the
    social support measurement in Israel is
    exceptionally high, Layard has noted. This is
    because the Israeli family is more resilient and
    has disintegrated less than the institution of the
    family in Europe and the United States. It has
    remained a major system of identity and
    support because of the geographical closeness
    and the close ties between parents and children
    in Israel – at all ages.”
    https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-low-incomes-high-prices-and-wars-so-why-are-israelis-so-
    happy-1.6391253

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  91. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Prof. Layard is one of the authors of the annual
    UN report:
    “It is especially important to mention that the
    social support measurement in Israel is
    exceptionally high, Layard has noted. This is
    because the Israeli family is more resilient and
    has disintegrated less than the institution of the
    family in Europe and the United States. It has
    remained a major system of identity and
    support because of the geographical closeness
    and the close ties between parents and children
    in Israel – at all ages.”
    https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-low-incomes-high-prices-and-wars-so-why-are-israelis-so-
    happy-1.6391253

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  92. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Panorama_of_Tel_Aviv.jpg
    Tel Aviv is the major economic, technological, and
    cultural hub of Israel. It’s secular and progressive.

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  93. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Panorama_of_Tel_Aviv.jpg
    And still, every Friday late afternoon,
    the city empties out.

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  94. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Panorama_of_Tel_Aviv.jpg
    Whatever stage of life you’re at,
    you drive out to family for Shabbat dinner.

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  95. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Panorama_of_Tel_Aviv.jpg
    You might even stay the weekend and return with
    tupperware full of leftovers.
    Not only is it normal, people sympathize if you don’t.

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  96. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    so, what gives?

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  97. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Being a tiny country,
    stuck between Asia and Africa,
    surrounded by not-best-friends
    turns out to have a silver lining.

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  98. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    say I grow up here

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  99. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and study here

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  100. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and work here

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  101. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    you end up with this

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  102. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    PS this is ~1 hr drive radius

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  103. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I found this also is true of friendships:
    Unlike my life in the US, Israelis can’t really get
    too far from their close friends from each phase
    of life.
    And this changes the meaning of friendship.

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  104. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Whenever I pass a group of 4, 5, 6, 7 or more
    friends sitting together around a table at a cafe
    in Tel Aviv…

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  105. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Whenever I pass a group of 4, 5, 6, 7 or more
    friends sitting together around a table at a cafe
    in Tel Aviv…
    …I feel sad and jealous.

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  106. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Whenever I pass a group of 4, 5, 6, 7 or more
    friends sitting together around a table at a cafe
    in Tel Aviv…
    …I feel sad and jealous.
    I know no matter how many friendships and
    connections I’ve made in my life, it’ll be a long
    time before I have that.

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  107. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Israel is still an individualist place,
    with lots of tech, and widening wealth gap.

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  108. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Israel is still an individualist place,
    with lots of tech, and widening wealth gap.
    Israelis move to the US/Europe
    when given the chance.

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  109. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Israel is still an individualist place,
    with lots of tech, and widening wealth gap.
    Israelis move to the US/Europe
    when given the chance.
    People aren’t staying for altruistic principles. It’s
    simply not easy to pick up and move.

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  110. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    so my theory is

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  111. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community

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  112. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community
    comes from

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  113. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    community
    comes from
    constraint

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  114. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    let’s talk about what a constraint is

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  115. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are real
    spatial/geographical implications

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  116. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are real
    spatial/geographical implications
    long-term (think decades not years)

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  117. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are real
    spatial/geographical implications
    long-term (think decades not years)
    not easily modified or gotten around

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  118. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are real
    spatial/geographical implications
    long-term (think decades not years)
    not easily modified or gotten around
    …less crossfit or soulcycle
    or SF co-op house or your startup “family”

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  119. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough

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  120. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough
    religious beliefs

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  121. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough
    religious beliefs
    discrimination (skin color, sexual orientation, etc.)

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  122. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough
    religious beliefs
    discrimination (skin color, sexual orientation, etc.)
    economic (income, resources, obligation)

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  123. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough
    religious beliefs
    discrimination (skin color, sexual orientation, etc.)
    economic (income, resources, obligation)
    geopolitical (borders, visas, etc.)

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  124. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    constraints are tough
    religious beliefs
    discrimination (skin color, sexual orientation, etc.)
    economic (income, resources, obligation)
    geopolitical (borders, visas, etc.)
    security, safety, health

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  125. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    strongest
    communities
    and I think that
    constraints
    come from pretty strong

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  126. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    weaker
    ties

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  127. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    weaker
    ties

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  128. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    weaker
    ties

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  129. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    weaker
    ties

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  130. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    weaker
    ties
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years

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  131. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    weaker
    ties
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    stronger
    ties

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  132. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    reasons bigger than you
    weaker
    ties
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    stronger
    ties

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  133. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    reasons bigger than you
    people you didn’t choose
    weaker
    ties
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    stronger
    ties

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  134. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    reasons bigger than you
    people you didn’t choose
    your personal life
    weaker
    ties
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    stronger
    ties

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  135. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    shared interests
    all people you like
    your work life
    measured in years
    stronger
    ties
    reasons bigger than you
    people you didn’t choose
    your personal life
    measured in decades
    weaker
    ties

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  136. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    think about, when you start somewhere new,
    how quickly people befriend and embrace you

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  137. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    think about, when you start somewhere new,
    how quickly people befriend and embrace you
    the weaker the
    constraint, the longer it
    takes to warm up to you
    e.g. new jiu jitsu gym or
    neighbors in a big city

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  138. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    think about, when you start somewhere new,
    how quickly people befriend and embrace you
    the weaker the
    constraint, the longer it
    takes to warm up to you
    e.g. new jiu jitsu gym or
    neighbors in a big city
    the stronger the
    constraint, the faster they
    get to know you
    e.g. kids preschool, niche
    religious community

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  139. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    back in America…

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  140. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I’ve had no real constraints ever:
    I got a great education
    I work in a thriving industry where it’s normal to
    jump around
    I’m male, white, straight, and I have a US passport
    I’m atheist/liberal/humanist/millenial bla bla bla

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  141. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and I found myself
    having the same conversation

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  142. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And it appears…
    The most “successful” people in the world,
    in the biggest economy,
    with the best educations,
    and the most options in front of them

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  143. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    might just be the
    loneliest

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  144. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    at each juncture

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  145. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    we all do what’s right for us

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  146. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    usually professionally

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  147. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    it’s called

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  148. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    individualism

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  149. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and combined with a huge country with tons of
    opportunities and big cities, it’s lonely AF

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  150. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!

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  151. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!
    I have work happy hour,

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  152. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!
    I have work happy hour,
    then soul cycle,

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  153. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!
    I have work happy hour,
    then soul cycle,
    then burning man camp meetings,

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  154. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!
    I have work happy hour,
    then soul cycle,
    then burning man camp meetings,
    then like five birthdays this weekend,

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  155. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    “But I’m not lonely, my schedule is packed!
    I have work happy hour,
    then soul cycle,
    then burning man camp meetings,
    then like five birthdays this weekend,
    and I’m in charge of co-op dinner this week.”

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  156. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Ask yourself, how many of those people in your
    surroundings can you count on being there for
    you if you had a vulnerable, life-altering event
    and needed major, inconvenient help and
    support?

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  157. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Ask yourself, how many of those people in your
    surroundings can you count on being there for
    you if you had a vulnerable, life-altering event
    and needed major, inconvenient help and
    support?
    Or simpler, how many of those people can you
    count on to be there for you in 20 years?

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  158. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    To paraphrase a friend who grew up in
    India before moving to the US:
    “I have the busiest social life,
    and I’ve never been lonelier.”

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  159. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    remember this?

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  160. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    this is freedom, opportunity, mobility…

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  161. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    but it’s also weak ties and isolation

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  162. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    By implicitly acting with
    individualism as my top value in life,
    I’ve implicitly given up one of the most human
    of experiences: being surrounded by people
    I’ve known for a very long time.

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  163. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But how the hell do I let go of my optionality?

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  164. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But how the hell do I let go of my optionality?
    As someone who’s grown up with strong
    implicit individualism, and constantly
    processing how do I keep all options open…

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  165. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But how the hell do I let go of my optionality?
    As someone who’s grown up with strong
    implicit individualism, and constantly
    processing how do I keep all options open…
    …how do I do this?

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  166. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    here’s some
    advice to myself

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  167. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    find a nice
    jewish girl and
    settle down
    already

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  168. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    uh, thanks mom.
    can I have my laptop back?

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  169. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    ok, ahem

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  170. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    commit
    to a
    constraint

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  171. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,

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  172. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,
    took a ~30% salary cut,

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  173. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,
    took a ~30% salary cut,
    pay SF-level taxes and prices,

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  174. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,
    took a ~30% salary cut,
    pay SF-level taxes and prices,
    and deal with new types of shit.

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  175. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,
    took a ~30% salary cut,
    pay SF-level taxes and prices,
    and deal with new types of shit.
    omg the internet here is slow

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  176. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Spoiler alert:
    So, I personally moved
    to the island in the mideast,
    took a ~30% salary cut,
    pay SF-level taxes and prices,
    and deal with new types of shit.
    omg the internet here is slow
    also, politics, security, and inequalities…

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  177. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Sure, I didn’t grow up here,
    so I don’t immediately get to
    enjoy all the benefits of this:

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  178. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Sure, I didn’t grow up here,
    so I don’t immediately get to
    enjoy all the benefits of this:

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  179. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Sure, I didn’t grow up here,
    so I don’t immediately get to
    enjoy all the benefits of this:
    But I do immediately get to
    experience this:

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  180. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Sure, I didn’t grow up here,
    so I don’t immediately get to
    enjoy all the benefits of this:
    But I do immediately get to
    experience this:

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  181. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But I have far more family here

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  182. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But I have far more family here
    as many close friends as anywhere else

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  183. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    But I have far more family here
    as many close friends as anywhere else
    and long term, it’ll pay off

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  184. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    but please,

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  185. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    don’t move to another country

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  186. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    thx.

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  187. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    first look at your life now

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  188. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Ask yourself whether your current community is
    going to last decades - or just a few years’ cycle.
    first look at your life now

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  189. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Ask yourself whether your current community is
    going to last decades - or just a few years’ cycle.
    Is your community defined by a constraint
    that’s not simple to get out of?
    first look at your life now

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  190. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Ask yourself whether your current community is
    going to last decades - or just a few years’ cycle.
    Is your community defined by a constraint
    that’s not simple to get out of?
    If by choice, has your community been around for
    decades before you came along? Have individuals
    been dedicating themselves for decades?
    first look at your life now

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  191. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    start looking for constraints

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  192. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Do something that’s got clear positives for you
    Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail.
    start looking for constraints

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  193. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Do something that’s got clear positives for you
    Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail.
    Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub.
    start looking for constraints

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  194. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Do something that’s got clear positives for you
    Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail.
    Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub.
    Be okay with closing some doors and sacrificing options.
    State out loud what you’re giving up. Is it money? Is it career heights? Potential career paths?
    start looking for constraints

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  195. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Do something that’s got clear positives for you
    Revisit those changes you’ve wanted to make but were held back by the sacrifices it would entail.
    Like moving closer to family. Or leaving a major economic hub.
    Be okay with closing some doors and sacrificing options.
    State out loud what you’re giving up. Is it money? Is it career heights? Potential career paths?
    Don’t overhaul your life. Make small changes over time.
    In my case of moving to Tel Aviv, I work in the same industry, fluent in the language, have extended
    family, and my parents visit them a ton, so it’s less dramatic than it might seem.
    Maybe from here I should start going to synagogue? Or have kids so they can go to preschool? Or
    move to a smaller town in the desert/up north? People in my family have done both. But not all at
    once.
    start looking for constraints

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  196. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    A close friend wrote:
    “Imagine something bad happened to my parents
    health-wise. It would be awful. But it would give me
    the easiest decision as far as where to move. And
    where to settle.”
    “And then I wonder: why am I waiting for a
    tragedy?”

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  197. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Giving up things like money and success is hard.
    Another close friend who left SF framed it:
    “By moving to [new city] I’m gonna have fewer
    business opportunities than before.”

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  198. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Giving up things like money and success is hard.
    Another close friend who left SF framed it:
    “By moving to [new region] I’m gonna have fewer
    business opportunities than before.”
    “So I ask myself, how much money would someone
    have to pay me to undo the decision and move back
    to SF?”

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  199. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Giving up things like money and success is hard.
    Another close friend who left SF framed it:
    “By moving to [new region] I’m gonna have fewer
    business opportunities than before.”
    “So I ask myself, how much money would someone
    have to pay me to undo the decision and move back
    to SF?”
    “…it would have to be a lot of money.
    Like 10x more than I’m giving up.”

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  200. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    Of course, being stuck somewhere thanks to
    constraints you don’t control, can be really bad.
    I know plenty of people who’ve rightfully worked
    hard to escape too much constraint.

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  201. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    What I wanna say here is simply that
    maybe we can peel back
    our individualism a little bit.

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  202. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,

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  203. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,

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  204. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,

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  205. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,

    View Slide

  206. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,

    View Slide

  207. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,

    View Slide

  208. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.

    View Slide

  209. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,

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  210. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,
    difficulties,

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  211. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,
    difficulties, collective crisis,

    View Slide

  212. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,
    difficulties, collective crisis, times of need,

    View Slide

  213. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,
    difficulties, collective crisis, times of need,
    disasters,

    View Slide

  214. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    If you think about some of the most
    human and beautiful parts of life,
    art,
    creativity,
    family,
    love,
    relationships,
    identity… etc.
    they also thrive on limitations,
    difficulties, collective crisis, times of need,
    disasters, lack of resources, etc.

    View Slide

  215. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We were born to deal with constraints - that’s
    nature, and that’s humanity.

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  216. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We were born to deal with constraints - that’s
    nature, and that’s humanity.

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  217. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We were born to deal with constraints - that’s
    nature, and that’s humanity.

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  218. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We were born to deal with constraints - that’s
    nature, and that’s humanity.

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  219. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    We were born to deal with constraints - that’s
    nature, and that’s humanity.

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  220. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And airplanes,

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  221. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And airplanes, the internet,

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  222. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And airplanes, the internet, big cities,

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  223. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    And airplanes, the internet, big cities, liberalism*
    *The worldview, not the politics

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  224. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    All great things.

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  225. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    helped a lot of humans on earth
    overcome their constraints

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  226. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    but also gave us the burden of freedom

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  227. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    so I’ll leave you with the thought

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  228. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    that it’s not just community,

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  229. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    rather that our

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  230. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    humanity
    rather that our

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  231. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    humanity
    comes from
    rather that our

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  232. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    humanity
    comes from
    constraint
    rather that our

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  233. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    talraviv.org

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  234. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    PS

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  235. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    so I live in Tel Aviv now

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  236. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    chances are,
    (given the diagrams above)

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  237. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    chances are,
    (given the diagrams above)

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  238. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    …that you don’t.

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  239. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    so,

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  240. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    come visit me!

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  241. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    I have a couch for you.

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  242. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    and as you know,
    I like hanging out
    with people I’ve known for a while

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  243. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    the best months to visit are
    April/May/June

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  244. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    the best months to visit are
    April/May/June
    and
    October/November

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  245. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,

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  246. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,
    combine with beachside SoCal,

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  247. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,
    combine with beachside SoCal,
    fill it with NY people,

    View Slide

  248. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,
    combine with beachside SoCal,
    fill it with NY people,
    and give it a European vibe,

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  249. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,
    combine with beachside SoCal,
    fill it with NY people,
    and give it a European vibe,
    that’s Tel Aviv

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  250. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    take Austin level arts and music,
    combine with beachside SoCal,
    fill it with NY people,
    and give it a European vibe,
    that’s Tel Aviv
    plus a free place to crash

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  251. @talraviv
    talraviv.org
    see you soon!

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