Just Enough Contact: Developing Communication Practices That Support Without Smothering

Presented at DPM Summit in October 2015. A full transcript is available at http://webmeadow.com/presentations/just-enough-contact.html.

Have you ever felt that a friendly team member was getting more annoyed with every status checkin? Or had skilled team members miss reasonable deadlines, even after regular reminders? Even in successful projects, sometimes there’s friction between you and your team and it can be hard to pinpoint the cause.

What if the problem isn’t the people, but the communication? What if our expectations around information sharing – he needs daily stand-ups instead of weekly status emails, she views your reminders as a sign that you don’t trust her to complete the work on time – are leaving everyone feeling frustrated even though nothing is technically *wrong*?

It’s our job as project leaders to recognize these mismatched communication expectations and figure out how and when to adjust methods, frequency, tone, and level of detail to make life better for everyone.

Transcript

1. Aaron Parkening Director of Project Strategy webmeadow.com 
 @aparkening October 13 2015 Communication practices that support without smothering Just Enough Contact
2. New project, yay! Speedbumps, ugh. https://flic.kr/p/5UkPxR
3. deadline cut close random CEO feedback surprise scope change https://flic.kr/p/9y4sD6
4. https://flic.kr/p/pk8NXS Small problems can be hard to track down
5. https://flic.kr/p/7UvQ2n We are professional guessers
6. https://flic.kr/p/iWuRQ8 Everything is a guess
7. https://flic.kr/p/iWuRQ8 How much do we actually know? (Not much.)
8. It’s not sustainable to investigate every issue https://flic.kr/p/mKfUWj
9. https://flic.kr/p/cCK7td Recognize my guesses Embrace cognitive dissonance
10. https://flic.kr/p/ej4t5k Stewart Agile stories
11. https://flic.kr/p/chA1gQ You know what will 
 solve this? MEETINGS
12. “The Work” by Bryon Katie
13. 3. How do you react when you believe
 that thought? The Work 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? 4. Who would you be without 
 that thought?
14. https://flic.kr/p/662ouJ Is it true? Can I absolutely know it’s true? Assumption: Stewart’s behavior harms the project
15. https://flic.kr/p/662ouJ How do I react when I believe this thought? Who would I be without this thought? Assumption: Stewart’s behavior harms the project
16. https://flic.kr/p/ayLz3G Maybe he’s really bad at time management.
17. https://flic.kr/p/ayLz3G Assumption: He’s terrible at time management Is it true? Can I absolutely know it’s true?
18. https://flic.kr/p/ayLz3G Assumption: He’s terrible at time management How do I react when I believe this thought? Who would I be without this thought?
19. https://flic.kr/p/662ouJ My assumptions were getting in my own way
20. 3. How do you react when you believe
 that thought? The Work 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? 4. Who would you be without 
 that thought?
21. https://flic.kr/p/8X1Ax8 The issue:
 sub-par deliverable :(
22. https://flic.kr/p/8X1Ax8 Apparently not everyone knows everything
23. https://flic.kr/p/8X1Ax8 You know what they say about assumptions
24. https://flic.kr/p/azyGQ9 Assumption: My team member is a novice Make space for the opposite: • Double-check for patronizing language • Format for tl;dr
25. https://flic.kr/p/7LmZCR Assumption: My team member is an expert Make space for the opposite: • Use open language • Ask for questions • Provide links to articles/definitions
26. https://flic.kr/p/qncE8z
27. “ Just a reminder that your next post is set for August 19. Let me know if you need anything. https://flic.kr/p/4EE4pR
28. https://flic.kr/p/qncE8z Reminders are not optional
29. https://flic.kr/p/qncE8z Reminders are annoying(?!)
30. https://flic.kr/p/qncE8z Assumption: My team member needs this reminder
31. “ I know you’re always on top of your deadline, but just a reminder that your next post is set for August 19. Let me know if you need anything. https://flic.kr/p/4EE4pR
32. https://flic.kr/p/5qmqar Small changes make a big difference
33. https://flic.kr/p/wnEHub Make space 
 for both paths
34. https://flic.kr/p/Damht Better culture = Better culture
35. The answers aren’t hard. Asking the questions is. https://flic.kr/p/nE7dpd
36. https://flic.kr/p/wnEHub All paths are a choice
37. https://flic.kr/p/aSTzqV The only thing I can change is
 my approach
38. Aaron Parkening Director of Project Strategy webmeadow.com 
 @aparkening October 13 2015 Thank You!
40. Mindfulness Tools • Headspace (headspace.com)
 Step-by-step guided meditation with themes.
 • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
 Very readable; easy ways to apply mindfulness to daily life.