Codemotion Madrid 2019: Perfectionism, Impostor Syndrome and Anxiety - Understanding your fears and learning to be kind to yourself

Working in the tech industry can sometimes make us feel inferior. It is easy to start believing that everyone knows more, or finds the work easier. When we’re surrounded by so many clever people, how help but judge ourselves against them and our work against theirs? Impostor syndrome - the belief that you don’t deserve to be where you are, and perfectionism - a need to work to impossibly high standards, are exhausting. Learn how to spot these destructive thought patterns in yourself, how to manage anxiety and procrastination and how to start being kinder to yourself, because you’re awesome!

Jo Franchetti
Web Developer Advocate, Samsung Internet
Jo is a Web Developer Advocate for Samsung Internet who is passionate about VR, Web Bluetooth, PWAs and great CSS. She’s got 6 years experience as a front end developer and has worked in various parts of the tech industry from startups, agencies, charities to large organisations. She is also mentor and organiser at codebar.io where she is able to action her passion not only for teaching good use of the web but also for improving the diversity and inclusivity of the tech industry.

Transcript

3. HELLO! I am Jo Franchetti Developer Advocate/Engineering Manager @thisisjofrank @thisisjofrank@mastodon.technology 3
4. MEET MO • Web Developer • With a degree • Self taught 4
5. • Does she know enough? • What if she is judged? • Does everyone else know more? 5
6. • Reads tutorials • Attends meetups • Still struggles occasionally 6
7. • Admires tech “celebs” • Wishes she were like them 7
8. • Afraid to get started • Can never finish a project • Just too darn tired 8
9. • Loses concentration • Works long hours • Afraid to ask for help 9
10. • Attends even more events • Joins organisations • Overcompensates 10
11. • No time for friends or chores • Poor eating/drinking habits • Tired all the time 11
12. • Procrastinates • Worries she’s not worked enough • Needs external validation 12
13. • Bad emotional state • Takes criticism personally • Thinks she’s alone in being unable to cope 13
14. • … 14
15. • Talks about her worries • Learns about anxiety • Manages her mental health as well as her physical health 15
16. COMMON ISSUES IN TECH ❏ Impostor Syndrome ❏ Perfectionism ❏ Anxiety 16
17. 1. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME (or Impostor phenomenon/Impostor experience)
18. WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? ⊗ Belief that everyone is equally, if not more skilled than you ⊗ Belief that you don’t deserve your qualifications ⊗ Belief that the qualifications you’ve earnt aren’t worth anything 18
19. Pluralistic Ignorance - no one believes, but everyone thinks that everyone believes 19
20. Maya Angelou "I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.' " 20
21. Emma Watson “It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, ‘Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved,’” 21
22. Albert Einstein "The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler" 22
23. My peers are all far more intelligent and accomplished than I am! THE DUALITY OF IMPOSTOR SYNDROME My peers are so gullible that I’ve tricked them into believing that I belong amongst them! 23
24. YOU ARE TALENTED YOU ARE CAPABLE YOU BELONG HERE
25. 2. PERFECTIONISM (the drive to attempt to achieve unattainable ideals or unrealistic goals)
26. If an interviewer ever asks you what your weaknesses are, just tell them you’re a perfectionist! - Misinformed people everywhere 26
27. PERFECTIONISM: ❏ Striving for flawlessness ❏ Setting impossible standards ❏ Self criticism ❏ Concern about what others think 27
28. PERFECTIONIST TENDENCIES ❏ Catastrophic Thinking ❏ Paralysis and Procrastination ❏ Anxiety, overwork and stress 28
29. CAPITALISM LOVES A PERFECTIONIST 29
30. HOW TO SPOT PERFECTIONIST TENDENCIES IN YOURSELF
31. WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A PERFECTIONIST? 31
32. Have you ever felt like you can’t start a project because you can’t decide how to start? 32
33. Have you ever left a project unfinished because you couldn’t get it exactly how you wanted it? 33
34. Have you ever worried about a project and put it off until the last second when you’ve finally been forced to output something. Then felt surprised at how it was all fine in the end? 34
35. Have you ever felt shame about asking for help from a colleague or peer? 35
36. WHAT CAN WE DO? 36
37. GIVE YOURSELF TIME 37
38. SET DEADLINES 38
39. REMEMBER: PERFECT IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT 39
40. REMEMBER: YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC 40
41. THINK YOUR FEARS THROUGH TO THEIR LOGICAL CONCLUSION 41
42. TALK ABOUT IT 42
43. 3. ANXIETY
44. DON’T IGNORE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 44
45. 4. BEING KIND TO YOURSELF
46. Change where you look for validation Stop worrying about external judgement, start forming your own evaluations 46
47. Learn to recognise bad thought patterns Catch yourself when they happen and consider what lead you there 47
48. Take time to reflect Think about your experiences and mentally sort them 48
49. Put management methods in place Breaking habits is difficult, so is forming new ones, this will take trial and error 49
50. Learn and apply your favourite self-soothing techniques What helps you to chill out when you get stressed? 50
51. YOU DESERVE IT 51
52. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! Chat to me at: @thisisjofrank @thisisjofrank@mastodon.technology 52