The Cube Rule of Food Identification

On the internet, a fierce debate rages. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Are Pop-Tarts ravioli? Is sushi toast? Into the fracas steps @phosphatide with their brilliant Cube Rule of Food. The idea is that you can fit all food into one of seven categories based on where the starch in a dish is positioned. — kottke.org

Transcript

1. The Cube Rule of Food Identification
2. first, we asked: are hot dogs sandwiches?
4. New York said yes.
5. first, hot dogs
6. then,
7. the wars began
8. The Sandwich Alignment Chart tried to bring order
10. but only chaos ensued
11. then spake the holy prophet @Phosphatide
12. blessing us with the grand unified theory of food identification
13. The Cube Rule
15. ᶃ Toast
16. ᶃ Toast popular examples pizza nigiri sushi pumkin pie (slice)
17. ᶄ Sandwich
18. popular examples lasagna toast (made and photographed by me, Ryan. It was okay) (multi-decker type) quesadilla (non-folded) ᶄ Sandwich
19. ᶅ Taco
20. ᶅ Taco popular examples hot dog sub sandwich (uncut) slice of pie (taco on its side)
21. ᶆ Sushi
22. ᶆ Sushi popular examples falafel wrap enchilada pigs in a blanket
23. ᶇ Quiche
24. ᶇ Quiche popular examples soup cheesecake falafel pita (in a bread bowl)
25. salad deep-dish pizza key lime pie (in a bread bowl) ᶇ Quiche bonus round
26. ᶈ Calzone
27. ᶈ Calzone popular examples burrito corn dog pie (whole)
28. dumplings pop-tarts uncrustables (unbitten) ᶈ Calzone bonus round
29. Additional Cube Rulings
30. † Salad
31. soup fried rice spaghetti (a wet salad) popular examples † Salad
32. Muffins type ᶃ, toast or any other block of starch (raw, unsliced)
33. Rice You are free to interpret the nature of rice however you wish.
34. Vanilla Soy Latte A three-bean soup.
35. Thank you.
36. References • https://twitter.com/kadybat/status/883516550216507392 • https://twitter.com/matttomic/status/859117370455060481 • https://twitter.com/Phosphatide/status/974067376894328833