The Cube Rule of Food Identification

On the internet, a fierce debate rages. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Are Pop-Tarts ravioli? Is sushi toast? Into the fracas steps @phosphatide with their brilliant Cube Rule of Food. The idea is that you can fit all food into one of seven categories based on where the starch in a dish is positioned. — kottke.org

Transcript

1. The Cube Rule
   of Food Identification
   

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2. first, we asked:
   are hot dogs sandwiches?
   

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4. New York said yes.
   

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5. first, hot dogs
   

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6. then,
   

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7. the wars began
   

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8. The Sandwich
   Alignment Chart
   tried to bring order
   

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10. but only chaos ensued
    

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11. then spake
    the holy prophet
    @Phosphatide
    

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12. blessing us with
    the grand unified theory
    of food identification
    

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13. The Cube Rule
    

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15. ᶃ Toast
    

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16. ᶃ Toast
    popular examples
    pizza nigiri sushi pumkin pie (slice)
    

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17. ᶄ Sandwich
    

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18. popular examples
    lasagna toast
    (made and photographed
    by me, Ryan. It was okay)
    (multi-decker type)
    quesadilla
    (non-folded)
    ᶄ Sandwich
    

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19. ᶅ Taco
    

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20. ᶅ Taco
    popular examples
    hot dog sub sandwich
    (uncut)
    slice of pie
    (taco on its side)
    

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21. ᶆ Sushi
    

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22. ᶆ Sushi
    popular examples
    falafel wrap enchilada
    pigs in a blanket
    

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23. ᶇ Quiche
    

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24. ᶇ Quiche
    popular examples
    soup
    cheesecake falafel pita
    (in a bread bowl)
    

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25. salad
    deep-dish pizza key lime pie
    (in a bread bowl)
    ᶇ Quiche
    bonus round
    

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26. ᶈ Calzone
    

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27. ᶈ Calzone
    popular examples
    burrito corn dog pie
    (whole)
    

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28. dumplings pop-tarts uncrustables
    (unbitten)
    ᶈ Calzone
    bonus round
    

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29. Additional Cube Rulings
    

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30. † Salad
    

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31. soup fried rice spaghetti
    (a wet salad)
    popular examples
    † Salad
    

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32. Muffins
    type ᶃ, toast
    or any other block of starch
    (raw, unsliced)
    

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33. Rice
    You are free to interpret the
    nature of rice however you wish.
    

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34. Vanilla Soy Latte
    A three-bean soup.
    

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35. Thank you.
    

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36. References
    • https://twitter.com/kadybat/status/883516550216507392
    
    • https://twitter.com/matttomic/status/859117370455060481
    
    • https://twitter.com/Phosphatide/status/974067376894328833
    

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