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The Cube Rule of Food Identification

André Arko
April 20, 2018
1.5k

The Cube Rule of Food Identification

On the internet, a fierce debate rages. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Are Pop-Tarts ravioli? Is sushi toast? Into the fracas steps @phosphatide with their brilliant Cube Rule of Food. The idea is that you can fit all food into one of seven categories based on where the starch in a dish is positioned. — kottke.org

André Arko

April 20, 2018
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Transcript

  1. The Cube Rule
    of Food Identification

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  2. first, we asked:
    are hot dogs sandwiches?

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  4. New York said yes.

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  5. first, hot dogs

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  6. then,

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  7. the wars began

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  8. The Sandwich
    Alignment Chart
    tried to bring order

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  10. but only chaos ensued

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  11. then spake
    the holy prophet
    @Phosphatide

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  12. blessing us with
    the grand unified theory
    of food identification

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  13. The Cube Rule

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  15. ᶃ Toast

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  16. ᶃ Toast
    popular examples
    pizza nigiri sushi pumkin pie (slice)

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  17. ᶄ Sandwich

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  18. popular examples
    lasagna toast
    (made and photographed
    by me, Ryan. It was okay)
    (multi-decker type)
    quesadilla
    (non-folded)
    ᶄ Sandwich

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  19. ᶅ Taco

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  20. ᶅ Taco
    popular examples
    hot dog sub sandwich
    (uncut)
    slice of pie
    (taco on its side)

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  21. ᶆ Sushi

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  22. ᶆ Sushi
    popular examples
    falafel wrap enchilada
    pigs in a blanket

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  23. ᶇ Quiche

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  24. ᶇ Quiche
    popular examples
    soup
    cheesecake falafel pita
    (in a bread bowl)

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  25. salad
    deep-dish pizza key lime pie
    (in a bread bowl)
    ᶇ Quiche
    bonus round

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  26. ᶈ Calzone

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  27. ᶈ Calzone
    popular examples
    burrito corn dog pie
    (whole)

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  28. dumplings pop-tarts uncrustables
    (unbitten)
    ᶈ Calzone
    bonus round

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  29. Additional Cube Rulings

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  30. † Salad

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  31. soup fried rice spaghetti
    (a wet salad)
    popular examples
    † Salad

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  32. Muffins
    type ᶃ, toast
    or any other block of starch
    (raw, unsliced)

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  33. Rice
    You are free to interpret the
    nature of rice however you wish.

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  34. Vanilla Soy Latte
    A three-bean soup.

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  35. Thank you.

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  36. References
    • https://twitter.com/kadybat/status/883516550216507392

    • https://twitter.com/matttomic/status/859117370455060481

    • https://twitter.com/Phosphatide/status/974067376894328833

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