Archer 802 Storyboards

Transcript

1. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
2. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
3. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
4. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
5. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
6. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) So we'll fake the crash tonight, but first we're gonna plant a few seeds.
7. Dialog CHARLOTTE First of all, if I wanted your seed --
8. Dialog CHARLOTTE First of all, if I wanted your seed --
9. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) Seeds of deception!
10. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) Seeds of deception!
11. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh, sorry, I thought you meant --
13. Dialog ARCHER I know what you meant.
14. Dialog CHARLOTTE What in God's name are you doing?
15. Dialog ARCHER Scrooching down.
16. Dialog CHARLOTTE Well stop it! Stop that this instant!
23. Dialog ARCHER You stop, shut up, I don't want anybody in Dreamland to see me.
24. Dialog CHARLOTTE Well I don't want anyone to see me being chauffeured by a... dwarf!
25. Dialog CHARLOTTE Well I don't want anyone to see me being chauffeured by a... dwarf!
26. Dialog ARCHER (sits up) Yeah, then we'd have to find a dead dwarf and a tiny chauffeur uniform.
28. Dialog CHARLOTTE Why?
29. Dialog ARCHER To -- never mind!
30. Dialog ARCHER To -- never mind!
31. Dialog ARCHER But she can't be dressed like a maid, so we need to put her in your clothes.
32. Dialog ARCHER But she can't be dressed like a maid, so we need to put her in your clothes.
33. Dialog ARCHER But she can't be dressed like a maid, so we need to put her in your clothes.
34. Dialog CHARLOTTE Right! Then we should go to my hotel!
35. Dialog CHARLOTTE Right! Then we should go to my hotel!
36. Dialog CHARLOTTE Right! Then we should go to my hotel!
38. Dialog ARCHER Which is...?!
39. Dialog CHARLOTTE Nice?
41. Dialog ARCHER Where.
42. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh.
43. Dialog ARCHER Is your hotel.
44. Dialog CHARLOTTE --The Chesley, on Sunset.
45. Dialog CHARLOTTE --The Chesley, on Sunset.
46. Dialog ARCHER That wasn't so hard, was it?
47. Dialog CHARLOTTE That's what I said.
48. Dialog CHARLOTTE (goofy laugh)
49. Dialog ARCHER [annoyed sigh]
50. Dialog ARCHER [annoyed sigh]
51. Dialog CHARLOTTE (goofy laugh)
52. Dialog CHARLOTTE (goofy laugh)
53. Dialog DUTCH (O.S.) [smallish, choked sobbing]
54. Dialog DUTCH (O.S.) [smallish, choked sobbing]
55. Dialog DUTCH (O.S.) [smallish, choked sobbing]
56. Dialog TREXLER (O.S.) Hey, c'mon, where's my tough guy?
57. Dialog TREXLER Huh? Where's my tough old Dutch?
58. Dialog DUTCH [sniffs, swallows]
59. Dialog DUTCH [sniffs, swallows]
60. Dialog TREXLER There he is! Huh?
61. Dialog TREXLER Now listen, shut up and listen to me, okay, because I know this isn't, you know, ideal...
62. Dialog TREXLER Now listen, shut up and listen to me, okay, because I know this isn't, you know, ideal...
63. Dialog TREXLER Now listen, shut up and listen to me, okay, because I know this isn't, you know, ideal...
64. Dialog TREXLER Now listen, shut up and listen to me, okay, because I know this isn't, you know, ideal...
66. Dialog DUTCH [big choked sob]
67. Dialog DUTCH [big choked sob]
68. Dialog TREXLER But you gotta pull yourself together!
69. Dialog TREXLER But you gotta pull yourself together!
70. Dialog DUTCH (big explosive sob)
71. Dialog DUTCH (big explosive sob)
72. Dialog DUTCH (big explosive sob)
73. Dialog TREXLER I'm sorry, that was a poor choice of words, but for Christ's sake, man!
74. Dialog TREXLER I'm sorry, that was a poor choice of words, but for Christ's sake, man!
75. Dialog TREXLER I'm sorry, that was a poor choice of words, but for Christ's sake, man!
76. Dialog TREXLER There's two dead men walking around out there who stole from me, i.e. my whores, and from you, i.e. your feet!
77. Dialog TREXLER There's two dead men walking around out there who stole from me, i.e. my whores, and from you, i.e. your feet!
78. Dialog TREXLER And you are gonna find them, and you are gonna bring them to me, and then I am going to make them wish they were in hell with a case of the clap!
79. Dialog DUTCH How can I?!
80. Dialog DUTCH They took my feet, Lenny!
81. Dialog DUTCH They took my fee-hee-hee-hee-heeeet!
82. Dialog DUTCH They took my fee-hee-hee-hee-heeeet!
83. Dialog DUTCH They took my fee-hee-hee-hee-heeeet!
84. Dialog DUTCH They took my fee-hee-hee-hee-heeeet!
85. Dialog DUTCH They took my fee-hee-hee-hee-heeeet!
95. Dialog DUTCH Ow.
99. Dialog DUTCH Ow.
100. Dialog DUTCH Ow.
101. Dialog TREXLER Shut up.
102. Dialog TREXLER Shut up.
103. Dialog DUTCH Sorry.
104. Dialog DUTCH Sorry.
105. Dialog TREXLER I don't pay you to be sorry, I pay you to make other people sorry.
106. Dialog TREXLER Now here. Do what he tells you.
107. Dialog TREXLER Now here. Do what he tells you.
108. Dialog TREXLER Now here. Do what he tells you.
110. Dialog DUTCH What who tells me?
111. Dialog TREXLER The guy that's gonna fix you.
112. Dialog VOICE (O.S.) Allo?
113. Dialog VOICE (O.S.) Wer ist das?
114. Dialog KRIEGER Wie haben Sie diese Nummer?!
115. Dialog ARCHER (O.S.) What?!
119. Dialog CHARLOTTE Absolutely not.
120. Dialog ARCHER Why not?!
121. Dialog CHARLOTTE I am not going to stuff that poor girl into my clothes in the trunk of a car like so much... forcemeat!
122. Dialog ARCHER So much what?!
123. Dialog ARCHER So much what?!
124. Dialog CHARLOTTE Forcemeat? Such as one may find in a quenelle, roulade, or galantine?
125. Dialog CHARLOTTE Forcemeat? Such as one may find in a quenelle, roulade, or galantine?
126. Dialog CHARLOTTE Forcemeat? Such as one may find in a quenelle, roulade, or galantine?
128. Dialog CHARLOTTE Well now you're just being obtuse.
129. Dialog ARCHER I'm being obtuse?!
130. Dialog CHARLOTTE Yes.
133. Dialog ARCHER (stage whisper) As opposed to you, who wants to parade a corpse through a hotel lobby, just so you can dress her in your room?!
134. Dialog ARCHER (stage whisper) As opposed to you, who wants to parade a corpse through a hotel lobby, just so you can dress her in your room?!
135. Dialog ARCHER (stage whisper) As opposed to you, who wants to parade a corpse through a hotel lobby, just so you can dress her in your room?!
136. Dialog CHARLOTTE Well, I'd hardly call this a parade.
137. Dialog DOORMAN (O.S.) Good afternoon, Miss Vandertunt...
138. Dialog ARCHER & CHARLOTTE [startled yelp]
139. Dialog DOORMAN Can I... help you?
140. Dialog DOORMAN Can I... help you?
141. Dialog CHARLOTTE No! No no, we're fine, no, thank you, my maid, whose name is, um...
142. Dialog CHARLOTTE No! No no, we're fine, no, thank you, my maid, whose name is, um...
143. Dialog ARCHER Bernice. Somewhat obviously.
144. Dialog CHARLOTTE Bernice, yes, and she was dead drunk in a nearby saloon, poor thing. The curse of the Irish, and so forth.
145. Dialog DOORMAN Ah jeez, well, let's get her inside...
146. Dialog DOORMAN Ah jeez, well, let's get her inside...
147. Dialog DOORMAN Ah jeez, well, let's get her inside...
148. Dialog DOORMAN Ah jeez, well, let's get her inside...
149. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh no, thank you, we'll use this one.
150. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh no, thank you, we'll use this one.
151. Dialog ARCHER No no, that one's good.
152. Dialog CHARLOTTE No, this one!
153. Dialog CHARLOTTE No, this one!
154. Dialog CHARLOTTE No, this one!
155. Dialog ARCHER NO!
156. Dialog ARCHER We are not. Going through. A revolving goddamn door. With Bernice.
157. Dialog CHARLOTTE But it wastes so much less air conditioning than a regular door.
158. Dialog ARCHER The regular door is wide ass open!
159. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh right. Well then what's the point?
160. Dialog CHARLOTTE Oh right. Well then what's the point?
161. Dialog ARCHER (seething) Exactly.
164. Dialog CHARLOTTE Honestly, I don't know why you're so angry.
165. Dialog CHARLOTTE Honestly, I don't know why you're so angry.
166. Dialog CHARLOTTE Honestly, I don't know why you're so angry.
167. Dialog ARCHER Which, I think is why I'm so angry.
168. Dialog ARCHER Which, I think is why I'm so angry.