Hit Reset: How to re-find your courage and make radical change right now

UX Y'all Keynote Session with Sara Wachter-Boettcher

Transcript

1. How to re-find your courage and make radical change right now Sara Wachter-Boettcher HIT RESET
2. What a year.
3. What a year...and a half.
4. What a year...and a half... and counting.
5. IT’S JUST BURNOUT.
6. Rest Justice
7. Self Others
8. Either Or
9. Rest Justice
10. ON TRAUMA I.
11. *I’m not a clinician (and you probably aren’t, either).
12. Trauma An event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. U.S. DHHS Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
13. In other words Trauma occurs when our experience of a harmful event is so stressful, it exceeds our ability to cope, process, and move on.
15. Traumatic experiences need processing time.
16. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky Founder, Trauma Stewardship Institute
17. “ The more we try to protect ourselves through not being fully present to what is unfolding in our lives, the more we feel the effects of trauma exposure. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk, Trauma Stewardship
22. What we push down leaks out.
23. What we push down leaks out... on those we perceive as less powerful than us.
24. Power dynamics we exploit • Structural: people from historically oppressed or marginalized groups • Positional: people who report to us or are in more junior roles than us • Social: those we see as having a weaker network or less social capital • Expertise: people we perceive as lacking knowledge or skills that we have
25. “ We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel. Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, Nonviolent Communication
26. Self-care Community care
27. Self-care Community care
28. GOING INWARD II.
29. “Everything’s on fire right now. I can’t worry about myself.”
30. “ We can be addicted to the rush of adrenaline—it’s tempting to stay wired when the alternative is to slow down and feel what is going on within and around us. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk, Trauma Stewardship
31. Name your feelings—and get specific.
32. From The Gottman Institute Developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox
33. From The Gottman Institute Developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox “Stressed”
34. Practice observing your emotions, not judging them.
35. I shouldn’t be angry. What’s my anger telling me?
36. Drs. Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence Calhoun Researchers, Post-Traumatic Growth
37. Post-traumatic growth Positive changes that occur as a result of working through crisis moments—such as new appreciation for life, more meaningful relationships, increased sense of personal strength, or changed priorities. Richard G. Tedeschi, PhD, and Lawrence G. Calhoun, PhD
38. “ One part of this experience that seems to be important is to be able to talk it through—to be able to tell the story... What changes are happening in me and what am I going to do with all this? Richard Tedeschi, PhD “Speaking of Psychology,” Dec. 18. 2019
39. Why can’t I just get motivated? How have my goals changed?
40. I shouldn’t complain. Other people have it worse. What has this time felt like for me?
41. There are no winners when we stack-rank our suffering.
42. ON CONTROL III.
43. Burnout isn’t just about workload. It’s about feeling chronically unsuccessful.
44. Burnout isn’t just about workload. It’s about feeling powerless.
45. “ Even the most challenging circumstances can be more bearable if we feel that we have some say in the outcome, while small stresses may become exaggerated if we feel that we are completely helpless. David Robson, BBC Worklife December 14, 2020
46. Unhelpful ways we seek control • Micromanaging and refusing to delegate • Perfectionism; avoiding sharing work in progress or collaborating • Questioning and nitpicking our team’s work • Surveillance of team members’ hours, whereabouts, etc. • Being rigid and unable to adapt/shift gears
47. Healthy ways to find control • Commit to a new work/life boundary (e.g., a shutdown time, taking Slack off your phone) • Start and protect a new routine (e.g., a daily walk at 2pm) • Set a priority each week and block out deep time to work on it—before anything else
48. “ Before starting your workday, take a moment to literally stop in your tracks and ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I am doing?” After you hear your answer, remind yourself, gently, that you are making a choice to do this work. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk, Trauma Stewardship
49. I have to do this. I’m choosing to do this because I’m scared of retaliation if I say “no.”
50. Moral injury Moral injury is the damage done to one’s conscience or moral compass when that person perpetrates, witnesses, or fails to prevent acts that transgress one’s own moral beliefs, values, or ethical codes of conduct. The Moral Injury Project at Syracuse University
51. Emotional exhaustion. We feel shut down and overwhelmed. Detachment. We are avoidant and distant from our colleagues. Depersonalization. We are less able to see others’ humanity. Cynicism. We become biased toward the negative. Dissatisfaction. We become overly critical and lack joy. How it harms our users What burnout does We avoid hard conversations, e.g., about harm and exclusion. We can’t collaborate, so we lose out on diverse POVs. We lose compassion for users and ignore our impact. We treat harm as inevitable and assume we’re powerless. We shut down ideas too soon, and lose creative solutions.
52. MAKING CHANGE IV.
53. Advocating for change takes clarity and courage. Connecting with our values helps with both.
54. Inaccessible and hostile interfaces Nonconsensual data collection Dark patterns Gender-based harassment Surveillance tech sold to police Racist financial algorithms Wide-scale social media-fueled disinformation Stereotypes and cultural appropriation in design Coordinated trolling campaigns Online radicalization of young men Social media-driven body dysmorphia Smartphone addiction Environmentally disastrous Bitcoin mining
55. Desiree Adaway Diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging expert
56. “ We’re busy all the time... Busy overthinking things and not trusting our decisions. White supremacy loves that. White supremacy knows that when we’re exhausted we remain obedient. And when we’re overworked, we tend to stay quiet. Desiree Adaway, “Sense of Urgency Keeps Us Disconnected”
57. It’s not just OK to focus. It’s necessary.
58. VALUES EXPERTISE POWER OR INFLUENCE AGENDA
59. Do I have power? Where do I have power?
61. Psychological immune system When negative experiences (like criticism or rejection) threaten our sense of self-integrity, our brains kick in to protect us. This system can be defensive, distorting facts or rejecting all new information and lashing out against it. Gilbert, Pinel, Wilson, Blumberg, and Wheatley, 1998
62. Self-affirmation theory The practice of reflecting on our values using real examples in moments where our sense of self feels threatened. This allows us to protect our self-esteem without without reacting defensively. Claude Steele, 1988
63. Finding courageous moments • When have you lived your values? What made that possible for you? • Think of a time when you felt true to yourself. What traits were you showing in that moment? • What’s a risk you’ve taken that you’re proud of? How did you find the courage to take it?
64. Concrete examples of who we are and what we believe give us something to call upon in hard times.
65. HIT RESET V.
66. Normal isn’t good enough. It never was.
67. “ We repeat what we don’t repair. Christine Langley-Obaugh
69. Giving yourself space to heal is an act of courage. Slowing down shifts the status quo.
70. How will you hit reset on your beliefs right now?
71. Thank you! activevoicehq.com sara@activevoicehq.com @sara_ann_marie @activevoicehq