Tales after midnight @ webdeldn

Tales after midnight is an anthology of modern horror cautionary stories, including “Don’t deploy that code”, “The CSS of Doom”, “Polaroid” et al.

It’s really important to be ready, in case it was you the pager was tolling for, just after midnight.

“Based on true stories” – me
“Not your typical horror stories” – also me
“The tales are varied as they are interesting and it promises to entertain readers from all types of horror genres” – not me, but also not necessarily about this talk

Transcript

2. for whom thE pagEr tolls TalEs aftEr midnight
3. for whom thE pagEr tolls TalEs aftEr midnight An anthology of short cautionary horror storiEs
4. TalEs aftEr Midnight @cEdmax WEbmastEr bEforE it was cool 
 TEch LEad 
 Condé Nast IntErnational
5. TalEs aftEr midnight "ThErE arE 5 typEs of EnginEErs:
 ThosE that havE brokEn production 
 and thosE who arE about 
 to brEak production" Matt BoylE for whom thE pagEr tolls
6. ChaptEr #1 Don't DEPLOY
 that CODE
7. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
8. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
9. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
10. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
11. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
12. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
13. Don't DEPLOY that CODE
14. - our rollback stratEgy WHAT WENT WELL - thE procEss was pronE to Errors ☠ WHAT WENT WRONG - AUTOMATE ALL THE THINGS What wE lEarnt Don't DEPLOY that CODE
15. ChaptEr #5 THE CSS OF DOOM
16. http://www.winpix.net/content/images/2010/03/16_png_transparent_ie6.jpg THE CSS OF DOOM
17. http://www.winpix.net/content/images/2010/03/16_png_transparent_ie6.jpg THE CSS OF DOOM
18. http://www.winpix.net/content/images/2010/03/16_png_transparent_ie6.jpg THE CSS OF DOOM
19. img { behavior: url("pngbehavior.htc"); } THE CSS OF DOOM
20. var supported = (/MSIE (5\.5)|[6789]/ .test(navigator.userAgent) && navigator.platform == "Win32");
 var blankSrc = "blank.gif"; if (supported) fixImage(); THE CSS OF DOOM
21. function fixImage() { var src = element.src; if ( /\.png$/.test( src.toLowerCase() ) ) { element.src = blankSrc; element.runtimeStyle.filter = 
 "progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.AlphaImageLoader(src='" + src + "',sizingMethod='scale')"; } } THE CSS OF DOOM
22. var supported = (/MSIE (5\.5)|[6789]/ .test(navigator.userAgent) && navigator.platform == "Win32");
 var blankSrc = "blank.gif"; if (supported) fixImage(); THE CSS OF DOOM
23. THE CSS OF DOOM
24. THE CSS OF DOOM
25. - I havE a fun story to tEll
 - our rollback stratEgy WHAT WENT WELL - I don't EvEn know whErE to start:
 - using thE prod db for monitoring
 - assuming thE CSS CAn't BREAK anything
 - siloEd & BlamE culturE ☠ WHAT WENT WRONG - You nEEd to undErstand thE systEm What I lEarnt THE CSS OF DOOM
26. ChaptEr #3 POLAROID
27. Replica Replica Polaroid
28. Replica Replica Polaroid
29. Polaroid
30. Polaroid
31. - Run books didn't havE anything on thE issuE - ThE support Escalation paths wErE wrong - WE FAILED TO COMMUNICATE THE FIX Polaroid
32. - wE CAUGHT THE PROBLEM BEFORE IT BECAME CRITICAL WHAT WENT WELL - Monitoring wasn't sEtup for thE rEplicas
 - ThE runbooks wErEn't updatEd ☠ WHAT WENT WRONG - you can't control EvErything
 - communication is KEy What wE lEarnt Polaroid
33. AppEndix POST MORTEM
34. Post MortEm - Summary THE DOCUMENT
35. - Summary - TimElinE THE DOCUMENT Post MortEm
36. - Summary - TimElinE - Impact THE DOCUMENT Post MortEm
37. - Summary - TimElinE - Impact - Diagnosis THE DOCUMENT Post MortEm
38. - Summary - TimElinE - Impact - Diagnosis - Actions THE DOCUMENT Post MortEm
39. - KEEp thE mEEting small - KEEp it tEchnical - Focus on thE whys? - MakE surE thE actions arE rEalistic - KEEp it blamElEss SUGGESTIONS Post MortEm
40. TakEaways - Sh*t will go wrong, BE prEparEd - KEEp your docs updatEd - Try to undErstand your APP/STACK - Don't BLAME PEOPLE BUT PROCESSES for whom thE pagEr tolls TalEs aftEr midnight