The Art of Marriage Week 2 of 4

Transcript

2. Love FADES We get married to become one, but even before the ceremony we begin to feel the isolation of two imperfect people. If you asked a man how’s he doing as a husband on a scale of 1 to 10 he would probably say 7 or higher. If you asked his wife, she might say 2 or 3. And as a result of these differences in perception our love for one another fades.
3. The drift toward isolation Isolation in marriage occurs when husbands and wives slowly drift apart. (mostly without notice) One reason couples drift apart is that they fail to make their marriage the priority in their life. We are culturally conditioned to believe that our happiness ought to be our number-one priority in life. Selfishness is one of the root causes of isolation.
4. You know you’re drifting when… You feel that your spouse isn’t hearing you and doesn’t want to understand. You feel like “Who Cares” or “Why Try” A feeling of not being able to please or meet the expectations of your spouse. You feel that he or she is going their own way.
5. And there are many stops alone the road that suggest you ought to get off We have this ideal that marriage is supposed to be easy, but when you get married you begin to deal with the challenges of marriage. Career challenges Battles with infertility Battles with discipline Battles with aging parents Battles with blended families
6. Researcher John Gottman said there are 4 behaviors that destroy marriage 1. Criticism – Always attacking each other. The usual response is “you’re not so perfect either”. 2. Contempt – Being disrespectful 3. Defensiveness – Justifying 4. Withdrawal – The silent treatment
7. Genesis Chapter 3 • We see the fall of man and the beginning of relational conflict between husband and wife. • Every man because of sin could be Adam. (shift blaming) It’s the woman, it’s the environment, it’s my up bringing, it’s the circumstances; its anything but me.
8. God’s punishment comes in 3 parts 1. Pain with his work (Gen. 3:17b-19) 2. Pain in childbirth (Gen. 3:16a) 3. Pain in marriage relationships (Gen. 3:16b)
9. Eve’s desire shall be for her husband Adam’s natural response is to withdraw and work.
10. There is a spiritual battle occurring within marriage Eph 6:10-12 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. KJV
11. That’s why we need Jesus in our lives • If you want to experience life and marriage the way God designed it, then you need a relationship with Him. • If you want your horizontal relationship right then you must get your vertical relationship right.
12. There is one word that can change a bad marriage. REPENT
13. Completing the Picture I must learn how to resist the natural drift toward isolation in marriage. My individual sin is the issue behind marital conflict. I must learn to take responsibility for my sin and reconcile with God. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice reconciled me to God and allows me to live in peace with Him and others. I must learn to walk each day by the power of the Holy Spirit in order to stay close to my spouse.