presuppositions God is the creator of marriage and therefore His design and purpose for marriage when followed works best. Whether you are a faithful or casual believer, Whether you are a faithful or casual believer, God’s Word when practiced in your marriage will bring amazing results. No matter what shape your marriage is in, if you are willing to trust in God’s Word, it can improve.
people marry Love 91% Companionship 88% To signify a lifelong commitment 82% Security for children 79% Security for children 79% To make a public commitment to each other 77% Legal status or for financial security 66% Because of religious beliefs 62% Response to family pressure 50% Desire for a special occasion 45%
are still high. Why? • We sometimes idealize marriage • Others underestimate the amount of effort it really takes to make a relationship work. • And because of the high rate of divorce, • And because of the high rate of divorce, many are wondering if marriage is worth the trouble.
Approximately 28% of men and women cohabited before their first marriage. • Among men and women who considered religion very important, more than 4 in 10 had religion very important, more than 4 in 10 had cohabited at some time in their lives. • Unmarried cohabitations are less stable than marriages.
The probability of a first marriage ending in divorce or separation in the first 5 years is 20%. • But the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. • After 10 years the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared to 62% for cohabitations.
as important to BECOME the right person as it is to FIND the right person. • The myth of “The One” is not biblical. • The myth of “The One” is not biblical. • The one you married is the one with whom you are to make a life.
Eph 5:31-32 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ESV
different from the animals’ creation; clearly she was special! Ishah is the Hebrew word for “woman”, and Ishah is the Hebrew word for “woman”, and ish is the Hebrew word for “man.” Adam made a distinction in his naming of Eve. Just as Eve was a gift to Adam, your spouse is a gift from God to you.
him or her, it means you embrace the God-given differences He’s built into each of you. It’s remembering every day that moment you joined together at the alter – each a special gift to the other. Your spouse is not your enemy. Receiving your spouse is a DAILY choice.
the Picture I must receive my spouse as God’s perfect gift for me. I must choose to believe that my spouse is not my enemy. I must renew my commitment to the permanency of marriage. I affirm that the primary purpose of my marriage is to reflect the glory of God.
and other tragedies, can be difficult to work through with your spouse. However, many couples find that the process of working through a tragedy draws them closer working through a tragedy draws them closer together.
god both individually and as a couple. Pray together. Use scriptures to enrich your prayer time. Journaling is a concrete way to express to God how you feel and helps a spouse understand your you feel and helps a spouse understand your struggle. Worship corporately with other believers, even when you don’t feel like it. Verbalize your choice to make your attitude better, not bitter.
married to become one, but even before the ceremony we begin to feel the isolation of two imperfect people. If you asked a man how’s he doing as a husband on a scale of 1 to 10 he would probably say 7 or on a scale of 1 to 10 he would probably say 7 or higher. If you asked his wife, she might say 2 or 3. And as a result of these differences in perception our love for one another fades.
and wives slowly drift apart. (mostly without notice) One reason couples drift apart is that they fail to make their marriage the priority in their life. make their marriage the priority in their life. We are culturally conditioned to believe that our happiness ought to be our number-one priority in life. Selfishness is one of the root causes of isolation.
isn’t hearing you and doesn’t want to understand. You feel like “Who Cares” or “Why Try” A feeling of not being able to please or meet the expectations of your spouse. You feel that he or she is going their own way.
you ought to get off We have this ideal that marriage is supposed to be easy, but when you get married you begin to deal with the challenges of marriage. Career challenges Battles with infertility Battles with discipline Battles with aging parents Battles with blended families
marriage 1. Criticism – Always attacking each other. The usual response is “you’re not so perfect either”. 2. Contempt – Being disrespectful 2. Contempt – Being disrespectful 3. Defensiveness – Justifying 4. Withdrawal – The silent treatment
and the beginning of relational conflict between husband and wife. • Every man because of sin could be Adam. • Every man because of sin could be Adam. (shift blaming) It’s the woman, it’s the environment, it’s my up bringing, it’s the circumstances; its anything but me.
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. KJV
you want to experience life and marriage the way God designed it, then you need a relationship with Him. • If you want your horizontal relationship • If you want your horizontal relationship right then you must get your vertical relationship right.
the Picture I must learn how to resist the natural drift toward isolation in marriage. My individual sin is the issue behind marital conflict. I must learn to take responsibility for my sin and reconcile with God. reconcile with God. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice reconciled me to God and allows me to live in peace with Him and others. I must learn to walk each day by the power of the Holy Spirit in order to stay close to my spouse.
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