Painting with Action Verbs

Transcript

1. Active Versus Passive Verbs Painting with Action Verbs Concepts from Image Grammar, Second Edition: Teaching Grammar as Part of the Writing Process by Harry Noden
2. Try this experiment. Close your eyes and visualize this sentence: The storm clouds were above the ancient barn. Now visualize the following sentence: The storm clouds raced above the ancient barn. Can you see the difference?
3. The verb were creates a still photograph: The storm clouds were above the ancient barn.
4. The verb raced creates a motion picture: The storm clouds raced above the ancient barn.
6. •Verbs are cameras that deliver images to your imagination. Being verbs can weaken images by freezing the action, while action verbs create motion pictures. Therefore, in the majority of sentences, authors prefer action verbs. •The most common being verbs include is, was, were, are, and am. Almost all other verbs are active verbs.
7. Visualize the difference in the motion picture of your imagination as you compare these two drafts, both written by Shawn Jividen. The first is from a rough draft of her novel Goose Moon. The second is her final revision after eliminating being verbs.
8. FIRST DRAFT Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Canada geese could be heard across the water bugling like tuneless trumpets. Near the shore, two children were hidden behind a massive maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped to see the first gosling begin to hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.
9. FINAL DRAFT Rockwell Lake echoed with the sounds of Canada geese. Their honking bugled across the water like tuneless trumpets. Two children hid behind a massive maple tree. They silently watched, hoping to see the first gosling hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.
10. Amateur writers often construct sentences in which being verbs highlight vague noun complements. For example, in a sentence such as “The meal was wonderful,” the being verb spotlights wonderful, an adjective that tells instead of shows, that labels instead of paints.
11. However, there are times when the writer as a cinematographer uses being verbs to create the effect of a freeze frame, a still shot—usually of a character or a setting. With this technique, the images following being verbs are highlighted in the reader’s mind and held for a longer time than passages with action verbs. For example, notice how in To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee uses the being verb was to create slow-motion images of Calpurnia, images that compel the reader to examine selected details:
12. “Calpurnia was something else again. She was all angles and bones; she was near-sighted; she squinted; her hand was wide as a bed slat and twice as hard. She was always ordering me out of the kitchen, asking me why I couldn’t behave as well as Jem when she knew he was older, and calling me home when I wasn’t ready to come.” (Lee 19)
13. The trick is to distinguish between being verbs that create an effective freeze frame and those that simply slow the pace. Scrutinize every to be construction.