If you ask some developers, following a functional programming paradigm will solve all your problems. Others will tell you OOP is the way to go. The reality is there are good things found in all paradigms. There are also bad things. This talk will cover examples of the most egregious anti-patterns found in almost every object-oriented codebase ever written. We will talk about what they are, why they are made, and how you can avoid them. Walking out of the room you should be able to spot problems in your own code and the code of your peers that you can fix tomorrow to make your codebase a better place.