Harry the Hedgehog Learns You A Communication

We know how to communicate — we do it on a daily basis, so why spend time perfecting something you feel you already know how to do? Well, what you say and how you say it impacts how you are understood and how others perceive you. In written communication, a single missing comma can wildly change the meaning of what you said. In this talk, we'll walk through 5 tips that improve how you communicate. Using real world examples, we'll show how common these pitfalls are and how to overcome them. You'll leave armed with the ability to positively impact your relationships through how you communicate.

Transcript

1. Harry the Hedgehog Learns You A Communication Laura Mosher // @LauraTrev
2. Counting. is Hard
3. Communication is Hard
4. We’re Going to Learn You A Communication
5. CONTENT WARNING Some of the following material contains Mental health topics and some profanity. Also contains Harry Potter spoilers.
6. ⚡ Harry Ron
7. 5 Tips
8. 5 Tips Think, then Speak
 

9. 5 Tips Think, then Speak
 Drop the Nots 

10. 5 Tips Think, then Speak
 Drop the Nots Drop the Justs 

11. 5 Tips Think, then Speak
 Drop the Nots Drop the Justs Watch your Phrasing 

12. 5 Tips Think, then Speak
 Drop the Nots Drop the Justs Watch your Phrasing Praise in Public,
 Critique in Private
13. Oxford Comma Lover Hedgehog Rescuer Dog Rescuer Developer The Hook Look, LLC
 Find me @LauraTrev
15. Think, then Speak Tip 1
16. Foundation of all Communication Tip 1
17. 3 Key ❓‘s Tip 1
18. What Who How do I want to say? am I talking to? should I explain it? Tip 1
19. Avoid sharing something private Tip 1
20. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone, Warner Bros Pictures (2001) Tip 1
21. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone, Warner Bros Pictures (2001) Tip 1
22. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone, Warner Bros Pictures (2001) Tip 1
23. Sometimes, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. Tip 1
24. Avoid saying something you’ll regret Tip 1
25. VS Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, Warner Bros Pictures (2004) Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, Warner Bros Pictures (2007) Tip 1
26. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, Warner Bros Pictures (2007) Tip 1
27. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, Warner Bros Pictures (2007) Tip 1
28. Drop the Nots Tip2 Tip 2
29. Imgflip.com // Kid Eating Crayon Meme Tip 2
30. Tip 2
31. I’m NOT eating Crayons! Tip 2
32. Not’s Reveal TRUTH Tip 2
33. I’m NOT eating Crayons! Tip 2
34. I’m eating Crayons! Tip 2
35. Denials, Negatives, the Nots (oh my!) Tip 2
36. WE STATE THE LACK OF SOMETHING It’s not there. ⚡ Tip 2
37. WE DENY THINGS I didn’t do it. ⚡ Tip 2
38. WE SAY NO No! ⚡ Tip 2
39. WE SKIRT RESPONSIBILITY Not my circus, Not my hedgehog. ⚡ Tip 2
40. Not’s Enable MISUNDERSTANDING Tip 2
41. !important Tip 2
42. Harry: “Do you have any wands with phoenix tail cores in stock?” Ollivander: “No, Mr. Potter, I don’t.” Tip 2
43. Examples Tip 2
44. “That’s not possible.” I’d like this new CoolFeature™ done by tomorrow. Yeah, that’s not possible. ⚡ Tip 2
45. That is more work than we can accomplish by that deadline, but here is what is possible. Tip 2
46. That’s super complicated and will take time. Can we break it down to see what we can do right now? Tip 2
47. Can you fix this deploy script? That’s not my job. ⚡ “That’s not my job.” Tip 2
48. Hermione usually handles this, let me ping her and see if she’s available. Tip 2
49. The build is broken. Not my problem. ⚡ “Not my problem.” Tip 2
50. What kind of error is occurring? Tip 2
51. I’m unfamiliar with that application, but lets see if I can help. Tip 2
52. ⚡ Hey, can you help me with this? Not now. “Not Now.” Tip 2
53. http://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt-a-programmer/ // Cropped Tip 2
54. I’m heads down and would like to stay focused. Can it wait until I’m at a good stopping point? Tip 2
55. Drop the Justs Tip 3
56. The “Justs” “Elitist” Just “Diffident” Just “Diminutive” Just Tip 3
57. The “Elitist” Just Tip 3
58. Why don’t you just…? Tip 3
59. Just do… Tip 3
60. You can just… Tip 3
61. This is interesting. I’ve never seen it done this way. Tip 3
62. What was the intent behind the change here? Can you explain the reasoning behind this? Tip 3
63. I believe you can also solve this using _. <Example> This can cause problems in _. Changing it to _ will bypass those problems. Tip 3
64. Validate their work. Tip 3
65. Offer an alternative. Tip 3
66. Be kind. Tip 3
67. The “Diffident” Just Tip 3
68. diffident | ˈdifəd(ə)nt | adjective modest or shy because of a lack of self-confidence !Humble Tip 3
69. I ran a 10k! I just ran the 5k… Tip 3
70. I’m a speaker at BigConference! I Just do lightning talks/meetups. Tip 3
71. I’m just a Developer. Tip 3
72. I am an expert at building Rails applications. Tip 3
73. I’m just a bootcamp graduate. Tip 3
74. I’m capable of building well architected software. Tip 3
75. Own your accomplishments. Tip 3
76. The “Diminutive” Just Tip 3
77. You’re just sad. Tip 3
78. You’re just a nervous nellie. Tip 3
79. It’s just in your head. Tip 3
80. Why can’t you just be happy? Tip 3
81. http://explosm.net/comics/4364/ Tip 3
82. I don’t understand. Tip 3
83. I’m here for you. Tip 3
84. Would you like me to bring you a book? Tip 3
85. Tip 3
86. I’m going to make you a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Tip 3
87. “Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” - Albus Dumbledore Tip 3
88. Watch your Phrasing Tip 4
89. Phrasing Self-Deprecating Stereotyped Ambiguous Tip 4
90. Self-Deprecating Phrasing Tip 4
91. I’m fine. Tip 4
92. I’m doing great! Tip 4
93. I’m fantastic! Tip 4
94. I’m having a rough day. Tip 4
95. Yours is so much better than mine. Tip 4
96. Wow, yours is awesome! Can you teach me some tips? Tip 4
97. I was in the looney bin. Tip 4
98. I was in the mental hospital. Tip 4
99. I need to take my crazy meds. Tip 4
100. I need to take my meds. Tip 4
101. Stereotyped Phrasing Tip 4
102. Ladies and Gents Tip 4
103. Moana (2016), Walt Disney Pictures, Walk Disney Animation Studios Tip 4
104. Man up. Buck up. Tip 4
105. You /act/ like a girl. Tip 4
106. That’s gay. Tip 4
107. Ambiguous Phrasing Tip 4
108. Archer (TV Series), by Adam Reed, FX Sheets Energy Strips Tip 4
109. Viktor is more of a physical being. Tip 4
110. Viktor is more of a physical being. Archer (TV Series), by Adam Reed, FX Tip 4
111. Viktor is more of a physical being. I mean, he’s not particularly loquacious. Mostly he watches me study. It’s a bit annoying, actually. Archer (TV Series), by Adam Reed, FX Tip 4
112. It was a rather serious evening, you know. Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon, describing his survival of the sinking of the Titanic Tip 4
113. A bit sticky. Brigadier Tom Brodie, on being outnumbered 650 to estimated 10,000 Tip 4
114. Praise in Public, Critique in Private Tip 5
115. Tip 5
116. Peer to Peer Tip 5
117. Praise in Public Tip 5
118. Praise is Recognition Tip 5
119. Praise as a Reward Tip 5
120. Well done! This is fantastic! Tip 5
121. Our customers are going to love this! Tip 5
122. Hey, thanks for helping me on this. Tip 5
123. Praise as a Motivator Tip 5
124. I really like how you did this. Can we do the same here? Tip 5
125. This is a great start, nice job! Tip 5
126. Nice! There are a couple of edge cases we need to take care of, but this is solid. Tip 5
127. Praise the outcome, not the time. Tip 5
128. Thanks for working late! Praising the Time Tip 5
129. Thanks for working late! Tip 5
130. Thanks for helping the customer solve their issue! Praising the Outcome Tip 5
131. Critique in Private Tip 5
132. Behavior Driven Critique Tip 5
133. Tip 5
134. Repeat Offense I know it is, Harry, so will you please stop biting my head off? ⚡ Tip 5
135. You are responsible for your words Tip 5
136. Say you’re sorry. Mean it. Tip 5
137. Feedback is Important Tip 5
138. Takeaways
139. • Think, then speak. Recap
140. • Think, then speak. • Drop the Nots. Recap
141. • Think, then speak. • Drop the Nots. • Drop the Justs. Recap
142. • Think, then speak. • Drop the Nots. • Drop the Justs. • Watch your Phrasing. Recap
143. • Think, then speak. • Drop the Nots. • Drop the Justs. • Watch your Phrasing. • Praise in Public, Critique in Private. Recap
144. Archer (TV Series), by Adam Reed, FX
145. Resources and Credits • Drop the Pink Elephant, by Bill McFarlan • Sasha Wolff, founder of Still I Run — Runners for Mental Health Awareness • All images are credited on their respective slides
146. THANK YOU! @LauraTrev Speaker deck slides