Stress and depression - how love for your work can kill you

Stress and stress-induced depression hit many knowledge workers, and yet it is still a taboo. “I am stressed” has become something we hear every day, and it has almost become prestigious to say so; it shows that we are busy, important people. On the other hand, it is a bit embarrassing to be really stressed and not being able to handle it.

The sad thing is that when it comes to the people, who are really stressed, we don’t hear it. We do not see it; we do not talk about it.
We feel awkward when people are stressed or come back from sick leave. We try not to talk about it. It is so much easier with a broken leg; we can carry stuff for them, hold the door, get coffee etc., but what do we do with a person with stress?

I have been sick with stress and it took nine months to come back. It was the second time and it had to hit me hard before I took it seriously.
I believe strongly in taking openly about stress and depression. It is the only way we can learn from it; the way we can make it okay to say “I need help!”.

Besides the human aspect, it is a huge problem for our organisations; not only because people go on leave, or they leave the company, but also because people are not at their best, when they are stressed.

In this talk I will discuss the taboo and explore why it hits knowledge workers so often, as well as come with tips and trick to prevent it.

Transcript

1. Stress and depression How love for your work will kill you Dev2next Conference, Denver 2024 Gitte Klitgaard @nativewired
2. @nativewired.bsky.social Caveat: it may be uncomfortable
3. @nativewired.bsky.social Pronouns: She/her
4. @nativewired.bsky.social How does stress show? It depends!
5. @nativewired.bsky.social How did my brain feel?
6. @nativewired.bsky.social My emotional state
7. @nativewired.bsky.social ? How did it feel for me? If this continues I will literally die
8. @nativewired.bsky.social Time line for that burnout 2009 2010 I will die New project Back to work Vacation Sick leave Oct/ Nov Mar Jun Jul Mar Christmas party
9. @nativewired.bsky.social Since then 2010 2020 Back to work 2024 Burnout? “Just” very stressed Burnout & severe depression First talk on this “Just” very stressed Times of crisis talk Deeper depression 2015 “Just” very stressed “Just” very stressed
10. @nativewired.bsky.social Ok this is your story – why should we care?
11. @nativewired.bsky.social Why am I here?
12. @nativewired.bsky.social * We don’t talk about it * Except when it is gone * We don’t take care of it * Until we have to We need to talk about it and we need to take care of it just as we do physical health! 12 Let’s talk about mental health
13. @nativewired.bsky.social 13 From UN “And further still, people’s mental wellbeing has been worsening. In the last 10 years, the number of people expressing stress, sadness, anxiety, anger or worry has been on the rise, reaching its highest levels since the Gallup surveys began.” — 2023-2024 HUMAN DEVELOPMENT REPORT, UNITED NATIONS DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME Gallup: State of the Global Workplace: 2024 report
14. @nativewired.bsky.social 14 Globally – life wise Gallup: State of the Global Workplace: 2024 report
15. @nativewired.bsky.social 15 Globally – work wise Gallup: State of the Global Workplace: 2024 report
16. @nativewired.bsky.social * Karōshi * Death by overwork * Including suicides * Main cause of death for men under 50? * Suicide!! Scary stuff out there
17. @nativewired.bsky.social * We need to do nothing – or our RTPJ shrinks! * So why do we need the Right Temporoparietal junction? * Collects information and processes it * This is where innovation lives Our brain literally shrinks
18. @nativewired.bsky.social Why is this happening?
19. @nativewired.bsky.social * My opinion: * We have a performance culture * We have (too) many options * Fear of missing out (FOMO) Why does this happen more and more? Maybe that we value doing more than being in today’s world (thanks @fotografritz for inspiration)
20. @nativewired.bsky.social 20 The last four years Brexit More war
21. @nativewired.bsky.social * Many of us live in a constant state of insecurity * We are more raw * We are more sensitive * We are more fragile * Some of us forgot to go back to pre-pandemic * Epidemic of loneliness 21 So what does this mean?
22. @nativewired.bsky.social * Always more to do than we can manage * We like our jobs * Impostor syndrome * No tangible work * No natural limits to our work Why are knowledge workers so affected?
23. @nativewired.bsky.social What can I do?
24. @nativewired.bsky.social * Eat healthy * Take enough breaks * Move from time to time * Watch sleep habits * Limit intake of news * Be kind * Slow things * Do nothing * Practise gratitude (added thanks to a participant) What can I do for myself?
25. @nativewired.bsky.social * Say no * Even if you already agreed * Plan preparation time * Relax your brain * Meditation * Mindfullness * Exercise * Ask for help * Take time off A few more concrete tips
26. @nativewired.bsky.social What can I do to help others?
27. @nativewired.bsky.social * Say * Pull yourself together * Many people are worse of than you * You have no reason to be depressed/stressed * Its all in your head * Ignore them * Don’t give unfounded advice DON’T
28. @nativewired.bsky.social * Ask how people are doing * Offer your help – subtle * Listen (grow your ears and open your heart) * Tell them to go to a professionel * Respect what they feel * Include people * Care Do
29. @nativewired.bsky.social Involve people
30. @nativewired.bsky.social * Create new working agreements * Especially around communication * Talk about it * Be empathic * Be kind * Make it okay to be in a bad place * And you are still responsible for your actions 30 What can we do in our teams?
31. @nativewired.bsky.social * Mental health is important * We are struggling worldwide * We need a management and organisational change * What can we do? * Talk about it * Ask for help * Offer help * Talk to each other * Care * Be kind – also to yourself Wrap-up Mummy by my friend Jakob Wolman
32. @nativewired.bsky.social I love connecting gitte.klitgaard@yahoo.dk http://www.nativewired.com/ dk.linkedin.com/in/gitteklitgaard/ Looking for a workshop or a talk? Thinking about getting some leadership coaching and guidance? Want to be coached? Have an organisation that could use help? Anything else I can do for you? Get in touch J
33. @nativewired.bsky.social * Talk on imposter syndrome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLpqq0ljawE&list =PLEx5khR4g7PIBIQHkNnOyRy2kclkq25Bh&index=8 * Gallup State of the workplace https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of- the-global-workplace.aspx Links
34. @nativewired.bsky.social * World Mental Health Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do8mqz6XmTE * Living with a black dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRRx7Mtep8 * Blog from Wil Wheaton http://wilwheaton.net/2018/05/my-name-is-wil-wheaton-i-live-with-chronic- depression-and-i-am-not-ashamed/ * I had a black dog, his name was depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc * Depression: what you see and what you don’t https://www.nativewired.com/depression-what-you-see-and-what-you- dont/ Links Depression
35. @nativewired.bsky.social * Karoshi: A Deep Look Into Japan’s Unforgiving Working Culture (Dec 2023) https://pulitzercenter.org/stories/karoshi-deep-look-japans-unforgiving-working- culture * Pushed to suicide: How a ultimatum from the boss took the life of a 33 years old employee (Aug 2024) https://www.reddit.com/r/WorkReform/comments/1fp9xu4/pushed_to_suicide_how_ a_ultimatum_from_the_boss/?rdt=62379 * EY employee's death prompts Big Four to relook work culture norms (Jul 2024) https://www.business-standard.com/companies/news/ey-employee-s-death-prompts- big-four-to-relook-work-culture-norms-124092700441_1.html * Toxic Work Culture | Employee’s Death in Thailand Sparks Outrage | May’s Tragic Story (Sep 2024) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AmeVs__Lgo * Suicide stats UK https://www.stuartroadsurgery.co.uk/health-information/suicide-prevention/ Links Karoshi