Flow. The official worst software development approach in history

Presented as the opening keynote at SDD 2019 in London, together with Kim van Wilgen, customer director at Schuberg Philis.

Ever since we started writing code in the fifties of the previous century, managers and project managers have tried to discipline and structure the way we work. However, no matter how many consultants and coaches are hired to implement increasingly complex process frameworks and methodologies, developers and testers always come up with new simplistic approaches.

During this talk, Kim and Sander will feal with Flow: the worst software development methodology in the history ever, taking inspiration from the worst principles and practices from methodologies such as waterfall, RUP, Scrum, Kanban, Lean, BDD, LeSS , SAFe, Spotify and of course everything continuous. Don't let project failure take you by surprise, be certain!

Transcript

1. Flow
   The official worst software development methodology in history
   Sander Hoogendoorn | Quby | ditisagile.nl | @aahoogendoorn
   Kim van Wilgen | Schuberg Philis | @kimvanwilgen
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   Next
   

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2. Sander Hoogendoorn
   Freelance new-agile coach, trainer,
   programmer, speaker, author, traveler, dad
   Currently
   Chief Architect Quby
   Before
   CTO ANVA, CTO Klaverblad Insurances
   Global agile thoughtleader Capgemini
   sanderhoogendoorn.com
   aahoogendoorn
   aahoogendoorn
   sander@ditisagile.nl
   Next
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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3. Kim van Wilgen
   @kimvanwilgen
   Customer
   director
   Schuberg
   Philis
   20
   18
   Head of
   development
   ANVA
   20
   17
   Head of IT
   Klaverblad
   Insurances
   20
   14
   Hello
   world
   19
   80
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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4. A short history of methodologies
   From waterfall to sociocracy
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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5. Waterfail
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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6. Click here
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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7. Click here
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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8. Click here
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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9. Click here
   @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
   

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10. Fragile agile
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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11. Click here
    Agile == Scrum?
    

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12. Click here
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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13. Click here
    Agile beyond building software?
    

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14. Click here
    Is agile dead?
    

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15. Click here
    Quotes from agile conferences
    “Make sure you don’t miss the agile elephant versus the
    waterfall elephant in the lobby.”
    “During this session we are going to discuss the Happiness
    Index of projects.”
    “Add Ready for Celebration before the Done column on
    your Kanban board”
    

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16. Click here
    More and more, I’m coming to see
    the term “Agile” as both unnecessary
    and self defeating. Agile has come to
    mean “do part of Scrum badly and
    use Jira.” Let’s just drop it.
    Allan Holub
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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17. Introducing Flow
    The official worst modern software development methodology in history
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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18. Click here
    Why yet another
    methodology?
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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19. Click here
    Agile beyond the hype
    

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20. Click here
    Naming our methodology
    We need Japanese words
    Kaizen, Kanban, Obeya, Origami
    It needs to end with cracy
    Holacracy, Sociocracy, Idiocracy
    And it needs to be Continuous with a D
    Discovery? Disappointment? Disagreement?
    

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21. Click here
    More #No
    and Less Yes?
    #NoOps
    #NoProjects
    #NoEstimates
    #NoSQL
    #NoTesting
    #NoCode
    Serverless
    Pointless?
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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22. Click here
    As a service?
    SaaS
    IaaS
    PaaS
    TaaS
    XaaS
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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23. Click here
    Methodoloy
    as a Service
    We propose
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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24. Click here
    Flow
    Because it
    nicely fits
    laptop stickers
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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25. We’ll keep sprints
    We are all Usain Bolt right?
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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26. Click here
    The red sprint anti-pattern
    

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27. Click here
    We need good estimates!
    So let’s elaborate…
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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28. We need gamification
    So people from outside our industry will understand too
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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29. Read more …
    Autonomy on a leish
    Our teams can be autonomous,
    but…
    • They don’t get to hire people
    • They don’t get to fire people
    • They don’t do appraisals
    • They don’t decide what they
    work on (it has to be on the
    backlog)
    • They don’t get to spend
    money
    

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30. Read more …
    Autonomy on a leish
    Our teams can be
    autonomous, so …
    • We decide what’s on the
    backlog
    • We decide who’s on which
    team
    • We decide what tools
    they’re using
    • When they have meetings
    

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31. But.. they get to decorate their workplace!
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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32. Just like at home?
    

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33. Mandatory fun
    • Maybe we’re overdoing it a little?
    

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34. Click here
    We play games
    20% of our working days
    Bring your own controller
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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35. Teams and roles … and resources
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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36. Small teams?
    • Do we mean 7 plus or minus 2?
    

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37. Click here
    Roles in Disciplined Agile 2.0 (outside of the team)
    Chief architecture owner
    Chief product owner
    Community of practice
    lead
    Database administrator
    Enterprise architect
    Functional manager
    Human resource manager Governor
    Operations engineers
    Process engineers Release engineers
    Reuse engineers
    Operations manager Process manager
    Release manager
    Portfolio manager
    Product manager
    Support manager
    Support engineers
    

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38. Click here
    Our annual SAFe Quiz
    Where’s the customer?
    

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39. Click here
    Resources
    Managers are used
    to calling people
    resources anyway,
    so why bother
    trying to change that
    If you want to become
    a real resource,
    you need to grow a beard
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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40. Click here
    Agile coaching?
    Agile coach camps
    Agile retreats
    Agile leadership
    weekends
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    Where’s
    the code?
    

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41. Click here
    DevOps?
    DevOps!
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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42. Read more …
    OpsDev
    OpsDev means front-loading
    Ops considerations – relating
    to applications’ operability,
    security, scale etc. early on in
    the process.
    

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43. Read more …
    SecDevSecOpsSec
    But where are the analysts?
    Testers?
    Project managers?
    

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44. Click here
    “I picked ‘DevOpsDays’ as Dev and
    Ops working together because ‘Agile
    System Administration’ was too long,”
    he said. “There never was a grand
    plan for DevOps as a word.”
    Patrick Debois
    Founder of Devops
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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45. Click here
    Flow’s collaboration mindset
    Community – Development – Operations – Analysts – Security
    ComDevOpsAnalSecs
    Resources
    Res
    

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46. Meetings
    Meetings break flow, so they’re good
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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47. Read more …
    Stand-ups
    The good
    They are boring
    Everybody loves them?
    They break developer flow!
    

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48. Read more …
    Stand-ups
    The bad
    Absolutely useful meetings
    But… far too often
    We don’t want people to
    know what other people are
    doing
    

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49. Read more …
    Stand-ups
    So
    Yes, but once a week
    About one hour
    Every Tuesday from 9PM to
    1AM
    

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50. Read more …
    Retrospectives
    The good
    They’re only once a month
    We can loose lots of time
    trying to prepare demo’s that
    will fail anyway
    

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51. Read more …
    Retrospectives
    And then
    Tedious discuss for at least
    two hours with the whole
    team why we could have
    gone faster
    So, we keep them, but …
    Every two weeks!
    We don’t follow up on
    improvements so we can
    repeat endlessly
    And, yes we definitively
    needed a LEGO reference
    

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52. In flow
    

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53. Read more …
    Breaking flow
    So
    In Flow we organize random
    meetings throughout the week
    With random topics, such
    design sessions, UI meetings
    with the customer, stakeholder
    meetings
    About an hour and with the
    whole team
    We call these flow meetings
    (as they break flow)
    

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54. Flow in the enterprise
    This is where the real money is ☺
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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55. Agile == Scrum?
    

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56. Read more …
    Scrum Guide Quiz
    Manager
    Autonomous
    Project manager
    Project
    Stakeholder
    Product owner
    User story
    Planning poker
    Tester
    Manager
    Autonomous
    Project manager
    Project
    Stakeholder
    Product owner
    User story
    Planning poker
    Tester
    

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57. Click here
    Does agile scale?
    

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58. Click here
    Or does large scale agile require a large scale process?
    

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59. Click here
    Sociocracy?
    

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60. Click here
    Let’s all copy Spotify!
    

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61. Read more …
    Big Flow Framework (BFF) 3.0
    BFF will feature
    3.0, similar to Management 3.0
    and Sociocracy 3
    Release planes
    Role based pattern matrix
    Similar to SAFe we add more
    complexity with each new
    release
    And … of course we copy
    Spotify
    

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62. Tooling
    We need boards – lots of overly complicated boards of-course
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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63. Read more …
    Flow boards
    We need boards!
    We’ll have so many boards that our
    clients will not even try to
    understand what our progress
    really is
    Boards are required
    to have at least 20 columns
    In Enterprise Flow you are required
    to have a special room for your
    boards called the board room
    

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64. Read more …
    Boards
    Jira
    Jira == agile
    So Jira is mandatory
    You will both have a Scrum
    board and a Kanban board
    You will use epics, stories
    and tasks randomly
    

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65. Read more …
    Boards
    Progress? What progress?
    A chart showing your
    progress is generated for you
    by Jira
    We call it a burn chart as
    they usually do not go down
    anyway and you burn money
    in the project
    

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66. More …
    Burn chart
    There really isn’t any progress, but we burn money anyway
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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67. Read more …
    Obeya rooms
    At its core, obeya (Japanese
    for “big room” or “great
    room”) is a dedicated room
    for employees to meet and
    make decisions about
    specific topics
    A room to put your pitiful
    burn charts on a wall
    A room to keep agile coaches
    busy, when no-one wants to
    be coached any more
    

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68. Click here
    Communication
    Resources
    need to stay in flow
    at all times
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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69. Click here
    Open Floor Plans
    Or how we’ve become the
    company’s brochure
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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70. Click here
    In Flow
    Resources
    are required to wear
    noise cancelling
    headphones
    If you want to become
    a real resource,
    you need to get a tattoo
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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71. Click here
    In Flow 2.0
    We are experimenting
    with augmented reality
    glasses too
    … but it appears that
    they find it hard
    to see the code
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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72. Read more …
    Slack
    Resources need to stay in flow
    So, resources do not directly
    communicate with each other
    Communication between resources
    only takes place via Slack
    Occasionally resources are allowed
    to do pair slacking
    There is one Slack channel per
    release so we can track bugs directly
    to Slack conversations between
    resources
    Agile coaches may act as thread
    police
    

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73. On manifestos
    Continue
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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74. Click here
    Manifesto
    A published
    verbal declaration
    of the intentions, motives
    or views of the issuer.
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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75. Click here
    A brief history of technical manifestos
    Rugged
    manifesto TBA
    Agile HR
    manifesto
    2017
    Software
    craftsmanship
    manifesto
    2009
    Agile
    manifesto
    2001
    Hacker 1986
    GNU 1985
    

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76. Click here
    

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77. @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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78. Click here
    Flow manifesto
    Extensive certification over hands-on experience
    Copying methodologies over thinking for yourself
    Tool-driven confusion over building working software
    Endless meetings over individual flow
    Mandatory gamification over authentic autonomy
    That is, while we ignore the things on the right, we do the things on the left
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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79. Click here
    Flow microfesto
    Extensive certification over hands-on experience
    Copying methodologies over thinking for yourself
    Tool-driven confusion over building working software
    Endless meetings over individual flow
    Mandatory gamification over authentic autonomy
    That is, while we ignore the things on the right, we do the things on the left
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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80. Certification
    How to make money from creating a methodology
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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81. Read more …
    Certification
    Why?
    To make sure that we have real
    professionals in our teams
    Well, we need to make money too
    In Scrum
    CSM, PSM and CPO are two-day
    courses
    You take a multiple choice exam
    And you are ready to go and coach
    teams
    

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82. Read more …
    Flow certification
    Yes, you can become a Certified
    Flow Resource (CFR) too!
    In our courses
    Learn how to rip-off post-it notes
    Learn how to move items on a Jira
    board
    Learn how to decorate your
    workplace
    Two day courses? Why not one
    day?
    Why not a one-hour presentation?
    

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83. Read more …
    Flow certification
    Exams
    Exams are made easier. We don’t
    want people to fail them
    So everyone from outside the
    industry can come in too
    3 multiple choice questions are
    sufficient
    Project managers?
    We will have certification for project
    managers!
    We don’t want to leave them out in
    the cold just as these agile folks did
    

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84. Certification
    Are you ready to take the Certified Flow Resource (CFR) exam?
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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85. Click here
    1. What roles do we have in Flow?
    A. Manager, project managers, product owners
    B. We are all one team!
    C. Lots and lots - except for testers of course
    D. Resources
    

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86. Click here
    2. What’s the goal of retrospectives in Flow?
    A. To interrupt the daily flow of our resources
    B. To endlessly discuss why the resources in our
    project should work harder
    C. To make sure we spend two days preparing demo’s
    D. To watch demo’s fail together with our clients
    

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87. Click here
    3. We have certification in Flow because?
    A. We want well-trained resources in our projects
    B. It makes our methodology look important
    C. Flow is so complicated you need lots of training to
    become an expert
    D. We want to make money
    

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88. Click here
    Congratulations!
    You all passed!
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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89. Certified Flow Resource
    May 21th, 2019
    Participating in the exam
    During SDD London 2019
    

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90. Click here
    By the way
    There is an annual
    continuation fee of
    200 euro
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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91. Click here
    In retrospective
    Here’s what we
    really believe
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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92. Click here
    We believe
    Software is built by people
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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93. Click here
    We believe
    Every organization or team
    will create and evolve the
    approach that fits them best
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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94. Click here
    We believe
    Personal communication
    is still key
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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95. Click here
    We believe
    Trust and personal safety
    rule
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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96. Click here
    We believe
    Creating software
    requires
    focus and flow
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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97. Click here
    We believe
    Continuous learning
    is essential
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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98. Click here
    We believe
    Teams need to be(come)
    truly self-organizing
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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99. Click here
    We believe
    Organizations need to be
    flat with as little hierarchy
    as possible
    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
    

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100. Click here
     We believe
     Experience
     is more important
     than certification
     @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
     

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101. And never forget to have fun
     @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
     Next
     

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102. Click here
     References
     and questions
     ww.sanderhoogendoorn.com
     www.kimvanwilgen.com
     aahoogendoorn
     kimvanwilgen
     @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
     sanderhoogendoorn.com/decks-and-handouts
     

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