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Flow. The official worst software development approach in history

Flow. The official worst software development approach in history

Presented as the opening keynote at SDD 2019 in London, together with Kim van Wilgen, customer director at Schuberg Philis.

Ever since we started writing code in the fifties of the previous century, managers and project managers have tried to discipline and structure the way we work. However, no matter how many consultants and coaches are hired to implement increasingly complex process frameworks and methodologies, developers and testers always come up with new simplistic approaches.

During this talk, Kim and Sander will feal with Flow: the worst software development methodology in the history ever, taking inspiration from the worst principles and practices from methodologies such as waterfall, RUP, Scrum, Kanban, Lean, BDD, LeSS , SAFe, Spotify and of course everything continuous. Don't let project failure take you by surprise, be certain!

Sander Hoogendoorn

May 21, 2019

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  1. Flow The official worst software development methodology in history Sander

    Hoogendoorn | Quby | ditisagile.nl | @aahoogendoorn Kim van Wilgen | Schuberg Philis | @kimvanwilgen @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD Next
  2. Sander Hoogendoorn Freelance new-agile coach, trainer, programmer, speaker, author, traveler,

    dad Currently Chief Architect Quby Before CTO ANVA, CTO Klaverblad Insurances Global agile thoughtleader Capgemini sanderhoogendoorn.com aahoogendoorn aahoogendoorn [email protected] Next @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  3. Kim van Wilgen @kimvanwilgen Customer director Schuberg Philis 20 18

    Head of development ANVA 20 17 Head of IT Klaverblad Insurances 20 14 Hello world 19 80 @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  4. Click here Quotes from agile conferences “Make sure you don’t

    miss the agile elephant versus the waterfall elephant in the lobby.” “During this session we are going to discuss the Happiness Index of projects.” “Add Ready for Celebration before the Done column on your Kanban board”
  5. Click here More and more, I’m coming to see the

    term “Agile” as both unnecessary and self defeating. Agile has come to mean “do part of Scrum badly and use Jira.” Let’s just drop it. Allan Holub @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  6. Introducing Flow The official worst modern software development methodology in

    history @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  7. Click here Naming our methodology We need Japanese words Kaizen,

    Kanban, Obeya, Origami It needs to end with cracy Holacracy, Sociocracy, Idiocracy And it needs to be Continuous with a D Discovery? Disappointment? Disagreement?
  8. Click here More #No and Less Yes? #NoOps #NoProjects #NoEstimates

    #NoSQL #NoTesting #NoCode Serverless Pointless? @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  9. Click here As a service? SaaS IaaS PaaS TaaS XaaS

    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  10. We need gamification So people from outside our industry will

    understand too @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  11. Read more … Autonomy on a leish Our teams can

    be autonomous, but… • They don’t get to hire people • They don’t get to fire people • They don’t do appraisals • They don’t decide what they work on (it has to be on the backlog) • They don’t get to spend money
  12. Read more … Autonomy on a leish Our teams can

    be autonomous, so … • We decide what’s on the backlog • We decide who’s on which team • We decide what tools they’re using • When they have meetings
  13. Click here We play games 20% of our working days

    Bring your own controller @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  14. Click here Roles in Disciplined Agile 2.0 (outside of the

    team) Chief architecture owner Chief product owner Community of practice lead Database administrator Enterprise architect Functional manager Human resource manager Governor Operations engineers Process engineers Release engineers Reuse engineers Operations manager Process manager Release manager Portfolio manager Product manager Support manager Support engineers
  15. Click here Resources Managers are used to calling people resources

    anyway, so why bother trying to change that If you want to become a real resource, you need to grow a beard @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  16. Click here Agile coaching? Agile coach camps Agile retreats Agile

    leadership weekends @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD Where’s the code?
  17. Read more … OpsDev OpsDev means front-loading Ops considerations –

    relating to applications’ operability, security, scale etc. early on in the process.
  18. Click here “I picked ‘DevOpsDays’ as Dev and Ops working

    together because ‘Agile System Administration’ was too long,” he said. “There never was a grand plan for DevOps as a word.” Patrick Debois Founder of Devops @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  19. Click here Flow’s collaboration mindset Community – Development – Operations

    – Analysts – Security ComDevOpsAnalSecs Resources Res
  20. Read more … Stand-ups The good They are boring Everybody

    loves them? They break developer flow!
  21. Read more … Stand-ups The bad Absolutely useful meetings But…

    far too often We don’t want people to know what other people are doing
  22. Read more … Stand-ups So Yes, but once a week

    About one hour Every Tuesday from 9PM to 1AM
  23. Read more … Retrospectives The good They’re only once a

    month We can loose lots of time trying to prepare demo’s that will fail anyway
  24. Read more … Retrospectives And then Tedious discuss for at

    least two hours with the whole team why we could have gone faster So, we keep them, but … Every two weeks! We don’t follow up on improvements so we can repeat endlessly And, yes we definitively needed a LEGO reference
  25. Read more … Breaking flow So In Flow we organize

    random meetings throughout the week With random topics, such design sessions, UI meetings with the customer, stakeholder meetings About an hour and with the whole team We call these flow meetings (as they break flow)
  26. Flow in the enterprise This is where the real money

    is ☺ @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  27. Read more … Scrum Guide Quiz Manager Autonomous Project manager

    Project Stakeholder Product owner User story Planning poker Tester Manager Autonomous Project manager Project Stakeholder Product owner User story Planning poker Tester
  28. Read more … Big Flow Framework (BFF) 3.0 BFF will

    feature 3.0, similar to Management 3.0 and Sociocracy 3 Release planes Role based pattern matrix Similar to SAFe we add more complexity with each new release And … of course we copy Spotify
  29. Tooling We need boards – lots of overly complicated boards

    of-course @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  30. Read more … Flow boards We need boards! We’ll have

    so many boards that our clients will not even try to understand what our progress really is Boards are required to have at least 20 columns In Enterprise Flow you are required to have a special room for your boards called the board room
  31. Read more … Boards Jira Jira == agile So Jira

    is mandatory You will both have a Scrum board and a Kanban board You will use epics, stories and tasks randomly
  32. Read more … Boards Progress? What progress? A chart showing

    your progress is generated for you by Jira We call it a burn chart as they usually do not go down anyway and you burn money in the project
  33. More … Burn chart There really isn’t any progress, but

    we burn money anyway @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  34. Read more … Obeya rooms At its core, obeya (Japanese

    for “big room” or “great room”) is a dedicated room for employees to meet and make decisions about specific topics A room to put your pitiful burn charts on a wall A room to keep agile coaches busy, when no-one wants to be coached any more
  35. Click here Communication Resources need to stay in flow at

    all times @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  36. Click here Open Floor Plans Or how we’ve become the

    company’s brochure @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  37. Click here In Flow Resources are required to wear noise

    cancelling headphones If you want to become a real resource, you need to get a tattoo @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  38. Click here In Flow 2.0 We are experimenting with augmented

    reality glasses too … but it appears that they find it hard to see the code @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  39. Read more … Slack Resources need to stay in flow

    So, resources do not directly communicate with each other Communication between resources only takes place via Slack Occasionally resources are allowed to do pair slacking There is one Slack channel per release so we can track bugs directly to Slack conversations between resources Agile coaches may act as thread police
  40. Click here Manifesto A published verbal declaration of the intentions,

    motives or views of the issuer. @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  41. Click here A brief history of technical manifestos Rugged manifesto

    TBA Agile HR manifesto 2017 Software craftsmanship manifesto 2009 Agile manifesto 2001 Hacker 1986 GNU 1985
  42. Click here Flow manifesto Extensive certification over hands-on experience Copying

    methodologies over thinking for yourself Tool-driven confusion over building working software Endless meetings over individual flow Mandatory gamification over authentic autonomy That is, while we ignore the things on the right, we do the things on the left @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  43. Click here Flow microfesto Extensive certification over hands-on experience Copying

    methodologies over thinking for yourself Tool-driven confusion over building working software Endless meetings over individual flow Mandatory gamification over authentic autonomy That is, while we ignore the things on the right, we do the things on the left @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  44. Read more … Certification Why? To make sure that we

    have real professionals in our teams Well, we need to make money too In Scrum CSM, PSM and CPO are two-day courses You take a multiple choice exam And you are ready to go and coach teams
  45. Read more … Flow certification Yes, you can become a

    Certified Flow Resource (CFR) too! In our courses Learn how to rip-off post-it notes Learn how to move items on a Jira board Learn how to decorate your workplace Two day courses? Why not one day? Why not a one-hour presentation?
  46. Read more … Flow certification Exams Exams are made easier.

    We don’t want people to fail them So everyone from outside the industry can come in too 3 multiple choice questions are sufficient Project managers? We will have certification for project managers! We don’t want to leave them out in the cold just as these agile folks did
  47. Certification Are you ready to take the Certified Flow Resource

    (CFR) exam? @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  48. Click here 1. What roles do we have in Flow?

    A. Manager, project managers, product owners B. We are all one team! C. Lots and lots - except for testers of course D. Resources
  49. Click here 2. What’s the goal of retrospectives in Flow?

    A. To interrupt the daily flow of our resources B. To endlessly discuss why the resources in our project should work harder C. To make sure we spend two days preparing demo’s D. To watch demo’s fail together with our clients
  50. Click here 3. We have certification in Flow because? A.

    We want well-trained resources in our projects B. It makes our methodology look important C. Flow is so complicated you need lots of training to become an expert D. We want to make money
  51. Click here By the way There is an annual continuation

    fee of 200 euro @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  52. Click here We believe Every organization or team will create

    and evolve the approach that fits them best @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  53. Click here We believe Creating software requires focus and flow

    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  54. Click here We believe Teams need to be(come) truly self-organizing

    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  55. Click here We believe Organizations need to be flat with

    as little hierarchy as possible @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD
  56. Click here We believe Experience is more important than certification

    @aahoogendoorn | @kimvanwilgen | Flow | SDD