THERE'S A CATCH

Transcript

1. There's a Catch by Adan Contreras iamadanh@gmail.com
2. Created using Celtx INT. FLAME'S ROOM - DAY REX (cheerful, muscular and orange) and BATTER (English purple bat in a crimson coat) play catch with Z(a limbless, floating alien) behind FLAME (grumpy, short, and orange-red) as he's watching TV. FLAME SIMMER DOWN! I can't watch this with you... laughing and having a good time. REX Don't get mad, Flame, come to play catch with us and you'll be happy! BATTER Some exercise wouldn't hurt you either, mate. FLAME I'm happy hating and you can't change that. I love hate too much. Besides, as long I got my hot sauce and TV, I can be miserable in peace. Z Ready, Mr. Flame, CATCH! FLAME I said-- Z fires the ball at Flame sending him flying at the TV, breaking it. Z yells "Oopsie" and points at the wreck. A blue glow covers Flame and the TV, picking him off the TV, which repairs itself. FLAME Ever since we got this alien in our lives I've been unhappy overtime. You want me to be happy? Then CATCH! Flame flings the ball out the window. Z jumps out trying to catch it. A car SCREECHES and CRASHES then silence. The gang looks out the window to Z splattered in pieces on the windshield. REX I c-can't believe it... (tear rolls down) ...Thank you Flame for getting rid of
3. 2. Created using Celtx that hyperactive cueball! C'mon, sit down and eat some Chichos! Flame sits on his chair as Rex stuffs his face with some sloppy tacos and wipes him with dollar bills. FLAME The heck? I mean- "Watch the cheese, Clementine." Batter holds Flame's bare foot. The horrible stink is only second to the gross pulsating bunion. BATTER Look at those feets. I gots it. Batter shoots out his fangs and bites it. FLAME AHHH, YOU LIMEY FLYIN-… DISSOLVE OUT: INT. FLAME'S ROOM- DAY BACK TO REALITY. Flame stands in front of the TV and rubs his eyes to see the gang looking at him as Rex holds the ball. REX Are you all right, Flame? FLAME I was until you showed up. What was that? REX I told ya, if you touch the ball it'll take you to your happy place! BATTER It doesn't seem to be affecting you, Rex. REX I know! I think it's cuz I'm already in my happy place! BATTER Rubbish, let me hold-- Batter grabs the ball and he's transported to his happy
4. 3. Created using Celtx place. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. GARDEN- DAY A couple, a young man and a woman, are sitting on a swing in a garden full of colorful flowers. You can't see their faces and they "speak in subtitles". MAN I can't believe we're free. WOMAN It's all thanks to you, now we can live in peace, together forever. DISSOLVE OUT: INT. FLAME'S ROOM - DAY Batter holds the ball with a drooling, vacant yet blissful expression. REX Aww He looks just like you when watching car crashes, Flame. Rex imitates Batter's face and turns to Z making both chuckle. Flame tries to pull the ball off Batter. FLAME Yeah, yeah, how do you get this thing off? CUT TO: EXT. GARDEN- DAY The couple is about to kiss when they are transported back to reality. INT. FLAME'S ROOM - DAY Rex pulls the ball away from Batter. REX You gotta add a little bit of love, Flame.
5. 4. Created using Celtx BATTER (stammering) Evelyn, I've missed you...huh? What happened? I was in a place I had forgotten except I was...happy? FLAME Your bloody sugar's low, guanobag. And you, hand over the ball! BATTER NO, IT'S MINE!! REX Oh, you guys are finally getting along! Batter's blood lust overtakes him and BITES Rex's arm who drops the ball in a YELP. Batter's maniacally CACKLES but the cackles soon fade when he sees his monstrous reflection on the shiny ball. BATTER I'm sorry, Rex! I don't know what came over me. T-this "happy delusion" could be dangerously addictive! Seal the ball with all the other artifacts. Batter leers at a box labeled "N-town Mementos" where purple light beams and disembodied SCREAMS of agony live. FLAME Hey, don't get your knickers in a bunch, Are really taking this lil' alien's smile away? Rex gives Z the ball, who grabs it with his hands instead of using his psychic powers. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. WASTELAND - DAY Z is eating a bunch of Chicho's tacos on what appears to be a wasteland surrounded by smoke and fire. DISSOLVE OUT: INT. FLAME'S ROOM - DAY The gang is surrounding Z as he's biting the ball and
6. 5. Created using Celtx drooling over it. REX You were right, Flame, look how happy Z is-- what? Where'd they go? Flame runs for the door holding Z. Batter blocks the door. BATTER Where are ya goin' mate? FLAME Where do you think? I'm gonna go to my happy place- hopefully a palace full of cash. BATTER I knew it! You were planning one of your harebrained schemes all along. FLAME Am I that predictable? I wanna say I'm consistent. But I can already picture it: A big sign reads "X-TREME CATCH!" with humans and grogs formed like ants to a sugar cube. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. FLAME ROOFTOP- DAY People are lined up to play catch with Z. Flame is taking their money under a banner that reads "Play X-TREME CATCH WITH Cannonballs of Happiness" WOMAN I'll give you my first born child- he's almost housebroken CLOWN I wanna be HAPPY!!! (honk honk) DISSOLVE OUT: As Flame is daydreaming, Batter drops a cup of water on Flame, extinguishing his body into a skeleton. He drops Z and Batter grabs him and flies around the room. FLAME Grogs and humans wanna an instant shot at happiness. So they'll line up to
7. 6. Created using Celtx get a cannonball to the FACE! Batter flies out the window. Flame growls and lights up his body again. He runs towards the elevator to the roof. EXT. FLAME ROOFTOP- DAY Flame steps out the elevator shooting fireballs at Batter from his finger. FLAME People will get their dose of instant gratification but NEWSFLASH, guanobag... Batter evades his attack, so Flame charges his finger and shoots directly at Batter, who uses Z as a shield, causing an EXPLOSION. FLAME(CONT'D) you can't have the HAPPY without the HURT! Flame turns aways from the explosion and blows his finger. Rex steps out the elevator with a toilet paper stuck to his foot as the ball falls from the sky and onto his arms. FLAME Gimme the ball, Clemmy, so I can, huh, spread the happiness! Batter coughs and drops Z, who just dances on the roof. Batter flies closer to the gang. BATTER Don't let him manipulate you, mate! He's taking advantage of the vulnerable by offering a false truth! FLAME Please, businesses do it all the time but when I do it, I'm the bad guy? BATTER Oi, you might have a point but you're still an jerk... REX (screaming echoes) PANG-WANGLE!!!
8. 7. Created using Celtx Rex's intense scream distract Flame and Batter from arguing as Z flies around them. REX Flame I can't believe you'd put a price on happiness. (beat) Actually I can. But that's not the true meaning of happiness. Happiness should be shared, it's like ice cream and everyone deserves a scoop. But this ice cream has melted. I think happiness should come from making others happy so... why don't you hold the ball instead, Flame? BATTER Aye, run away to your fantasy world, at least you'll be trapped in there forever. FLAME (blows raspberry) Rex hesitates to throw the ball, his eyes water as he thinks of all the good memories they shared together. Flame orders him to "FIRE AWAY" but Rex sighs and walks away, dropping the ball, which rolls towards Z. Z It's playtime, NOW, Mr. Flame! Flame looks around and turns back only to realize he's close to the edge of the building himself. FLAME MATCHSTICKS! Z fires the cannonball at Flame, throwing him off the roof. He holds on to the blazing ball with a blissful face all the way down the pavement finishing in a BOOM. CUT TO BLACK: EXT. NETHER STREET- DAY The gang, holding their noses, stand around Flame as he opens his eyes. Flame PUKES. BATTER Bad trip?
9. 8. Created using Celtx FLAME Yea but at least the ball cushioned my fall. Wait the ball is gone!! Flame looks at his butt and it has the scorched marks of the cannonball. Flame starts to FUME, his veins popping and smoke coming out of his head. The gang hug each other in fear. REX Maybe we can get a new one. Where did you get it, Zweetie? Z It's poop. REX What? Z It's poop from my butt. (points at butt) BATTER Z's droppings? Mmm, maybe with their alien nature they release toxins-- FLAME HAPPINESS IS... Flame is about to explode but he stops himself and starts laughing. FLAME (laughing) Happiness is poop! Flame laughs uncontrollably and walks toward the gang, patting his hands together. FLAME Well, happiness be darned, who needs that anyway. Heck, we'll make our own happiness. In the end, as long as Z's happy, we can all be miserable, right? BATTER That's oddly out-character coming from you, mate, but I'll take it.
10. 9. Created using Celtx REX (sniffing) Guys, do you see me holding the ball? I think I know why it didn't affect me- I love you guys! Rex hugs Batter, Z and Flame. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. NETHER- FLAME'S ROOM- DAY BACK TO REALITY. REX holds the metallic poop with the same blissful look everyone else did while the rest of the gang watches TV. BATTER Are you feeling all right, mate? Z (Sing-song) Rex's playing with DOODY! Rex's playing with DOODIE! DOODY! FLAME Who cares! At least I can watch TV now. END CREDITS INT. LAB- NIGHT A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is watching a screen in a machine in total darkness with the glow highlighting his face. The screen is showing the previous scene at Flame's place, as if there was a camera recording them like a sitcom. The figure checkmarks a box on is pad that reads "PROJECT Z- NEEDS MORE DATA" He puts his pad down and clicks a button on the side of the screen. CUT TO BLACK END
11. 10. Created using Celtx