That time I used Ruby to crack my Reddit password (kinda)

I lost my password. So I used Ruby it crack it, kinda. I will re-enact the story live in front of a group of strangers.

I'm going to be honest, this is a weird and fairly embarrassing story. You probably shouldn't come see it.

You know what, forget I even said anything.

Transcript

1. THAT TIME I USED RUBY TO CRACK MY REDDIT PASSWORD (KINDA) HASEEB QURESHI SOFTWARE ENGINEER, EARN.COM
2. LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.
3. I USED TO BE ADDICTED TO USELESS WEBSITES.
4. EXAMPLE USELESS WEBSITE (ARTIST’S DEPICTION)
5. ALSO, I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL.
6. Me
8. I DECIDED TO USE THE ANCIENT PSYCHOLOGICAL TECHNIQUE:
9. LOCKING MYSELF OUT OF MY ONLINE ACCOUNTS.
10. SPECIFICALLY…
13. (ALSO CHANGING ACCOUNT RECOVERY E-MAIL)
18. “COOL STORY, HASEEB. NICE PRECOMMITMENT TECHNIQUE. WE SHOULD LEARN FROM YOUR EXAMPLE. YOU REALLY ARE A PARAGON OF SELF-RESTRAINT, AND YET YOU ARE SO CHILL ABOUT IT. IT’S AMAZING YOU NEVER BRAG ABOUT THAT IN THESE PUBLIC PRESENTATIONS, HOW DO YOU RESIST THE URGE? IN SHORT, YOU’RE AMAZING. SINCERELY, AUDIENCE.”
19. CUT TO 2 YEARS LATER.
20. I HAVE A JOB NOW. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS…
21. NOW I CAN WASTE COMPANY TIME!
22. LET’S LOG BACK IN…
23. Wait… I can’t access it?
24. It’s scheduled to be sent in 2018??
25. HMMM…………. (DEMO)
26. (body + subject).include?(query) MY ORACLE:
27. THE ALGORITHM
34. Expected number of queries is: 2A + A/2 * (N - 2) (Where A = alphabet, N = length) Assuming A = |a-z, 0-9| = 36, and N = 22: 2 * 36 + 18 * 20 = 432 expected queries
35. THIS IS ACTUALLY DOABLE…
36. SO LET’S DO IT. (LIVE CODING GOES HERE)
38. SO, TAKEAWAYS?
39. YOU CAN SOLVE PROBLEMS WITH CODE! LIKE, REAL PROBLEMS.
40. THAT’S LIKE, CRAZY, MAN.
41. THAT’S ALL!
42. I AM HASEEB QURESHI You can find me on Twitter: @hosseeb You can read my blog at: haseebq.com