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Navigating Conflict

Lara Hogan
October 13, 2021
360

Navigating Conflict

In this workshop, we’ll demystify the difference between healthy vs unhealthy conflict and provide tools for navigating either kind.

Attendees walk away with easy methods to remember what steps to take in conflict and disagreements, how to prepare for a conflict conversation when you can, and how to respond in real-time if you’re caught off guard by one, and how to ensure your needs are met without trampling over those of others.

Created in collaboration with Paloma Medina.

Lara Hogan

October 13, 2021
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Transcript

  1. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring this up earlier.” “I wish

    I knew what to do here.” “I realize I’ve been really cranky, which isn’t helpful.” THE RIGHT DATA
  2. AMYGDALA WARNING #3 It doesn’t seem like you care about

    hearing their answers. THE RIGHT DATA
  3. Them: “It would be cool if next time…” “How do

    we handle this differently next time?” You: “What if next time I…” “What could I do differently next time?” FOCUS ON THE FUTURE
  4. The Right Data: Your side of the facts, impact (feelings),

    role. Their side (open questions). Focus on the future.
  5. Us Them How (position) No, we will own all 200

    acres. We will own all 200 acres.
  6. Us Them How (position) No, we will own all 200

    acres. We will own all 200 acres. Need (why?) We don’t want to look for a new source of orange juice. We need the orange pulp.
  7. How (position) We sell you the land, you give us

    reduced rates on the pulp for 15 years. We own the land, we supply the pulp for free for 8 years. We keep the land, and you lease half the acres from us at a below- market rate. Need (why?) We don’t want to look for a new source of orange juice. We need the orange pulp. A B C
  8. How (position) I want you to talk to me and

    the team differently. You’re an adult, you can handle my critique. Need (why?) I want to be on a team where we all try to be better to each other. I think critique is how we get better as a team.
  9. How (position) Need (why?) I want to be on a

    team where we all try to be better to each other. I think critique is how we get better as a team. We can give any and all negative feedback at a Friday THUNDERDOME feedback meeting. For the next 3 weeks we start all critique with “Here’s what’s hard...” and vow to avoid mean adjectives like “stupid” or “ridiculous”. A B
  10. How (position) Need (why?) I want to be on a

    team where we all try to be better to each other. I think critique is how we get better as a team. We can critique whenever and however, but always standing on one leg. C
  11. ❏ I think the one thing that matters most to

    me is ____________. What matters most to you most about this? ❏ Which parts of my first idea are the worst for you? Is there a part that would work for you? ❏ What one thing do you wish you could change about this? ❏ What’s one thing that would make this feel 20% better for you? ❏ On the GAS scale… I’m a 9 about the color (I care A LOT), but a 2 about the timeline. What about you? ❏ Your question: ______________________________________