Dealing with surprising human emotions - workshop

Your teammates are guaranteed to have surprising reactions to things that happen in your work environment. How do you navigate it, understand it, and best support your teammate?

In this workshop, we’ll talk through humans’ six core needs in the workplace, what’s happening in our brains when we have surprising emotions, and how to recognize when your teammate is feeling some resistance or doubt. We’ll practice methods to unearth what might be behind those emotions, and we’ll cap it off by working through how to recover when you’ve triggered someone. Attendees will leave with tools and techniques to easily share with others so they, too, can know how to navigate these sticky moments.

Transcript

1. Dealing with surprising
   human emotions
   Lara Hogan
   

   View Slide

2. Ground Rules
   

   View Slide

3. Stay curious!
   1
   

   View Slide

4. No open
   phones/laptops.
   2
   

   View Slide

5. Vegas rules for
   participants’ stories.
   3
   

   View Slide

6. What was a recent
   ‘Hulk’ moment?
   

   View Slide

7. Find a partner!
   What was that Hulk moment?
   What made it so triggering?
   (2 minutes)
   

   View Slide

8. Brain Chemistry
   

   View Slide

9. View Slide

10. View Slide

11. Don’t worry,
    I got this!
    

    View Slide

12. Core Needs
    6
    palomamedina.com/biceps/
    

    View Slide

13. Belonging
    Community, connection
    1
    

    View Slide

14. Flickr: whisperwolf
    

    View Slide

15. Improvement/
    Progress
    Progress towards purpose,
    improving the lives of others
    2
    

    View Slide

16. Choice
    Flexibility, autonomy,
    decision-making
    3
    

    View Slide

17. Equality/Fairness
    Access to resources & info,
    equal reciprocity
    4
    

    View Slide

18. Predictability
    Resources, time, direction,
    future challenges
    5
    

    View Slide

19. Significance
    Status, visibility, recognition
    6
    

    View Slide

20. Belonging
    Improvement/Progress
    Choice
    Equality/Fairness
    Predictability
    Significance
    

    View Slide

21. With that same partner:
    Guess what BICEPS was triggered for
    your partner in their Hulk story
    Confirm if that was what
    they wrote down or not!
    (3 minutes)
    

    View Slide

22. “Why is my teammate
    reacting so strongly?”
    

    View Slide

23. Desk Moves
    #WOCinTech Chat
    

    View Slide

24. Belonging
    Community, connection
    1
    

    View Slide

25. Improvement/
    Progress
    Progress towards purpose,
    improving the lives of others
    2
    

    View Slide

26. Choice
    Flexibility, autonomy,
    decision-making
    3
    

    View Slide

27. Equality/Fairness
    Access to resources & info,
    equal reciprocity
    4
    

    View Slide

28. Predictability
    Resources, time, direction,
    future challenges
    5
    

    View Slide

29. Significance
    Status, visibility, recognition
    6
    

    View Slide

30. Yo, what’s
    up?
    

    View Slide

31. Resistance → Data
    

    View Slide

32. Most common responses
    when a threat is detected
    

    View Slide

33. 1. Doubt
    

    View Slide

34. 1. Doubt
    2. Avoid
    

    View Slide

35. 1. Doubt
    2. Avoid
    3. Fight
    

    View Slide

36. 1. Doubt
    2. Avoid
    3. Fight
    4. Bond
    

    View Slide

37. 1. Doubt
    2. Avoid
    3. Fight
    4. Bond
    5. Escape-route
    

    View Slide

38. 1. Doubt
    2. Avoid
    3. Fight
    4. Bond
    5. Escape-route
    }Data
    

    View Slide

39. Ask open questions!
    Spot some
    resistance
    ...
    

    View Slide

40. Ask open questions!
    Spot some
    resistance
    Map to
    core
    need(s)
    Address
    core
    need(s)
    

    View Slide

41. Worksheet
    Think of a situation recently
    where you felt very triggered
    by someone’s behavior
    (90 seconds)
    

    View Slide

42. Circle 2-4 questions
    you would have
    appreciated before or after
    they triggered you
    (3 minutes)
    

    View Slide

43. Find a new partner!
    

    View Slide

44. Share with your partner just
    2 questions you chose,
    and what made you choose them
    (3 minutes each)
    

    View Slide

45. How do we recover when
    we trigger someone?
    

    View Slide

46. “What we learned…”
    “What we’ll do…”
    

    View Slide

47. “I see now that when ______
    happened, we messed with
    ______. What if next time, we
    instead try ___________?”
    

    View Slide

48. Caveat
    The goal is not 100% consensus
    100% of the time
    

    View Slide

49. Homework
    What’s one thing you want to take
    back to work and use right away?
    

    View Slide