Empathy Gives You Superpowers

Empathy Gives You Superpowers

Empathy Gives You Superpowers
(Given at Laracon EU 2015)

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Matt Stauffer

August 25, 2015
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Transcript

  1. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT EMPATHY
 gives you superpowers

  2. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT INTRODUCTIONS

  3. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Hi. I’m Matt.

  4. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT … and I’m a jerk.

  5. (awkward pause)

  6. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You may have heard I’m

    a nice guy.
  7. None
  8. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT In reality, I'm a
 self-centered,

    prideful,
 jerk bag.
  9. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  10. (story time)

  11. None
  12. None
  13. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT ONE THING MISSING:

  14. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT ONE THING MISSING: EMPATHY.

  15. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT If you learn one thing

    this year, let it be empathy.
  16. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy will have a greater

    impact on your future than Microservices
  17. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy will have a greater

    impact on your future than Domain-Driven Design
  18. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy will have a greater

    impact on your future than functional programming
  19. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy will have a greater

    impact on your future than laracon & laravel
  20. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy will have a greater

    impact on your future than Beer (!)
  21. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Developers often think that our

    skill should be all that matters.
  22. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT – Paul Graham of Y

    Combinator in Hackers and Painters “Empathy is probably the single most important difference between a good hacker and a great one. Some hackers are quite smart, but when it comes to empathy are practically solipsists. It’s hard for such people to design great software, because they can’t see things from the user’s point of view.”
  23. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT “Empathy is probably the single

    most important difference between a good hacker and a great one. Some hackers are quite smart, but when it comes to empathy are practically solipsists. It’s hard for such people to design great software, because they can’t see things from the user’s point of view.” – Paul Graham of Y Combinator in Hackers and Painters solipsism: extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one's feelings, desires, etc.; egoistic self-absorption.
  24. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT “Empathy is probably the single

    most important difference between a good hacker and a great one. Some hackers are quite smart, but when it comes to empathy are practically solipsists. It’s hard for such people to design great software, because they can’t see things from the user’s point of view.” – Paul Graham of Y Combinator in Hackers and Painters
  25. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT – C.A.R. Hoare, computer scientist

    “The most important property of a program is whether it accomplishes the intention of its user.”
  26. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  27. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT YOU WILL WRITE BETTER PROGRAMS

    WHEN YOU HAVE MORE EMPATHY.
  28. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT • Smarter • Faster •

    More well-loved • More employable • A better lover Empathy will make you…
  29. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT • Users • Clients •

    Employers • Employees • Colleagues • Significant Other • The waiter at your favorite restaurant Many people will benefit:
  30. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT DEFINING EMPATHY

  31. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT What is empathy, anyway?

  32. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Four attributes of empathy •

    to be able to see the world as others see it • to be nonjudgmental • to understand another person’s feelings • to communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings back to them Theresa Wiseman, “A concept analysis of empathy”
 http://www.researchgate.net/publication/227941757_A_concept_analysis_of_empathy
  33. Samantha Quiñones, Hacking the Human Interface http://www.slideshare.net/samanthaquinonestembies/hacking-the-human-interface-51646360

  34. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy is not the same

    as sympathy
  35. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Brené Brown on Empathy -

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
  36. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  37. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  38. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  39. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  40. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  41. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Two primary types of empathy

    Affective/Emotional empathy A shared emotional response Feels like “fluff” “I can’t change how I feel!” Indi Young, “Practical Empathy” Cognitive empathy Perspective-taking Skill, not inherent Can be learned & taught
  42. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy requires
 learning to listen

    well.
  43. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  44. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT –Rape crisis center volunteer "Once

    you hear these stories,
 you can't help but become an advocate."
  45. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy at its core is

    reorienting yourself to be in line with the other person.
  46. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT “Sounds nice.
 But I don’t

    even know
 how to empathy.”
  47. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT LEARNING EMPATHY

  48. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT –Helen Riess, Associate Professor of

    Psychiatry at Harvard “Empathy is not inherent. Empathy is a skill and can be learned.”
  49. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT (Source: Roman Krznaric, “Empathy: A

    Handbook for Revolution”) 98% of us have the ability to be empathic wired into our brains.
  50. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT HOW DO WE BECOME
 MORE

    EMPATHIC?
  51. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Cultivate curiosity about others

  52. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Roman Krznaric - The Power

    of Outrospection
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG46IwVfSu8 Human Library
  53. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Learn to shut off your

    inner voice.
  54. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Grandpa Mekis

  55. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Source: Marshall Rosenberg in “Non-Violent

    Communication” Repeat what the other person said before you respond. You will resolve conflicts, on average, 80% faster.
  56. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  57. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Matt’s “why the &()@%” rule

    Stop. Cool down. Every time you find yourself saying,
 “Why the &()@% would this person do this?”… Now, ask,
 “Why the &()@% indeed would this person do this?”
  58. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT The 5 Whys • When

    presented with a problem, write it down… • Ask why. Write that down… • If that answer doesn’t address the root of the problem, repeat. • Really the 5-ish Whys From Toyota/Six Sigma
  59. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT The 5 Whys of Every

    SaaS • The user wants an Excel-like grid of all data. WHY? • The user wants to be able to filter out just the users with the NEW status. WHY? • The users needs to be able to see a list of only the users who are new. WHY? • The users email these lists of just new people to their leadership team. WHY? • The leadership team splits up the responsibility of calling every new contact at least once.
  60. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Let’s practice together. • Senior

    developer tells you to do ________ • Employee tells you ________ • Framework developer does ________ • Someone on twitter opines ________ • You come across legacy code that ________ • Your spouse ________
  61. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT DIFFERENCE AND GROUPS

  62. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT The golden rule good is

    not enough.
  63. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT (Most) people are
 different from

    you.
  64. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Piaget’s theories of
 Assimilation &

    Accommodation Kids learning: • Dog is furry > Furry things are dogs • See a new furry thing. Must be a dog! • Nope. That’s a raccoon.
  65. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT @todo scary raccoon

  66. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Grouping doesn’t make you racist.

    But it also doesn’t give you a pass.
  67. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Roman Krznaric: "Empathy Why It

    Matters & How to Get It" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN4MRYIoCS0
  68. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  69. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Snake sex

  70. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Think of others before yourself.

  71. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT I’m just being self-centered.

  72. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Some practical implications of developing

    empathy:
  73. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Your open-source contributions will be

    accepted more.
  74. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  75. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Your code will be better

    and future developers will love you more.❤
  76. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT – Hal Abelson, Structure and

    Interpretation of Computer Programs “Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.”
  77. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You will be a better

    employee.
  78. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT –Stewart Butterfield of Slack "One

    way that empathy manifests itself is courtesy. Respecting people’s time is important. Don’t let your colleagues down; if you say you’re going to do something, do it. A lot of the standard traits that you would look for in any kind of organization come down to courteousness. It’s not just about having a veneer of politeness, but actually trying to anticipate someone else’s needs and meeting them in advance."
  79. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You will sound smarter and

    make your teams better.
  80. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT –Indi Young, Practical Empathy “When

    you open your mouth,
 other people's voices will come out.”
  81. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Your clients will love you.

  82. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT –Matt Stauffer (YES ME), Dev

    Discussions - The Business of Development with Tighten “We want our clients to hear us saying: We hear, understand, and often anticipate your needs. Whatever goes on… your priorities are our priorities.”
  83. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You’ll make more friends on

    Twitter.
  84. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Your framework will
 become wildly

    successful.
  85. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT empath

  86. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You will make people
 feel

    like they matter.
  87. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT You is kind. You is

    smart. You is important.
  88. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT …and help them know
 they’re

    not alone.
  89. Brené Brown on Empathy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  90. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Pluralism FTW.

  91. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Don’t read the YouTube comments.

  92. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT

  93. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Empathy gives you superpowers

  94. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Some great articles/podcasts • Why

    Code Design Requires Empathy
 http://spin.atomicobject.com/2013/07/06/code-design- empathy/ • Is empathy on your resume?
 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/12/business/stewart- butterfield-of-slack-experience-with-empathy- required.html • Dev Discussions - The Business of Development With Tighten
 http://www.devdiscussions.com/episodes/6811-episode-4- the-business-of-development-with-tighten
  95. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT Some great talks • Roman

    Krznaric - Empathy: Why It Matters & How To Get It
 https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=lN4MRYIoCS0&list=PLFPDmaMM5XCuQEyZfgh- VMxzxaqsOe4z3&index=15 • Indi Young - A Practical Type of Empathy
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSs0iB6gxV4 • Brené Brown - Empathy
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw • Roman Krznaric - The Power of Outrospection
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG46IwVfSu8
  96. EMPATHY GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS @STAUFFERMATT THANK YOU. joind.in/15013