What's wrong with PHP?

What's wrong with PHP?

Gave this talk at the Berlin PHP usergroup on June 4th, 2013
Follow me on Twitter: @CodeStars

These days, it often feels like php is an old, creepy piece of code - it seems that all the cool code kids are using ruby, node or scala.

But is this actually the truth? Maybe php is just different. I believe we as a community are on the right way to take our tools, frameworks, and the community itself to a new level. Composer, Packagist, PHPspec, and PSR are just a first step in the right direction. Each of us can do their part - you could, and you should also be a part of it. So lets unite into an awesome, open-minded community, leaving the php 3 times behind us!

# Slide 2
25 y/o
Web Nerd
Open Source lover
Backend Developer

Mostly php stuff but a node lover!

# Slide 5
running a conference!

# Slide 6
19.06 & 20.09.2013

Awesome web people
Talking mostly about passion!!!

Speaker sneak peak:
* Tito
* Github
* Engine Yard
* Fridel

Powerd by

# Slide 7
Half a rant!

Internal vs. external

Mostly about how ppl see php!

# Slide 9
Being at conferences 2012.

People yells at php

# Slide 10
must be the conclusion

# Slide 28
first attempt to use WP code.

mine from 2008

we started all like this

I got my first job with this

# Slide 32
pierre joye

* ci
* tests
* bugs
* c?!

# Slide 33
Hack that shit!

List of cool projects, mostly written in sparetime!

# Slide 44
~ 12.000 packages

Our gems finally arrived!

# Slide 49
Amazing ppl like

Fabien Potencier
Lorna Mitchell
Tobias Schlitt
Derick Rathans
Kore Nordman
Jordi Boggiano
Nils Adermann
Igor Wiedler

# Slide 51
* super verbose
* less magic, unless __call
* quick results

# Slide 57
* Deamons
* shellscripts
* HTTP stuff
* ...whatever

# Slide 60
Craiglist in 2011 asked companies

What they are looking for


Ole Michaelis

June 04, 2013


  1. @bephpug - June 4th - Berlin (Germany) What’s wrong with

    PHP? yahyah.. like EVERYTHING, right?
  2. me, myself and I Ole Michaelis @CodeStars github.com/nesQuick codestars.eu

  3. working @Jimdo “Open Source Rockstar”

  4. working @Jimdo “Open Source Rockstar”

  5. shameless plug

  6. Twitter: @socodedconf http:/ /socoded.com

  7. don’t feed the trolls! kind of a disclaimer

  8. so, what’s wrong with php?

  9. the story of a language nobody likes!

  10. PHP SUCKS!

  11. None
  12. but, finally there was one thing ...

  13. open source

  14. open source FUCK YEAH!

  15. dafuq?

  16. dafuq? php is #6 on github.com

  17. * 9.000.000 Jimdo pages :D 20.000.000* sites running on PHP

  18. None
  19. so why is it?

  20. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  21. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  22. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  23. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  24. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  25. let’s check awwwwww ... *rageface*

  26. please STOP this!

  27. please STOP this!

  28. yep! got it This is how THEY know PHP!

  29. but... can’t we just fix it? could be me, trying

    to fixing php
  30. indeed, we can and it should not be that hard!

  31. 3 easy steps to fix php

  32. 1. participate http://munich2012.drupal.org/program/sessions/php-core-get-rid-bugs-and-contribute | https://wiki.php.net/rfc/voting | https:// edit.php.net/ | https://github.com/php/php-src

    | https://bugs.php.net/
  33. 2. make it happen

  34. 2. make it happen

  35. 2. make it happen

  36. 2. make it happen

  37. 2. make it happen

  38. 2. make it happen

  39. 2. make it happen

  40. 2. make it happen

  41. 2. make it happen

  42. 2. make it happen

  43. 2. make it happen

  44. None
  45. None
  46. None
  47. None
  48. None
  49. 3. spread the word

  50. the new world a few free arguments just tailored for

    you http://www.flickr.com/photos/zanthia/6683299491/in/set-72157603955402874/
  51. super easy for beginners ohohh! cat content

  52. open source

  53. open source FUCK YEAH!

  54. open source FUCK YEAH! https://gist.github.com/4687004

  55. open source FUCK YEAH! https://gist.github.com/4687004

  56. open source to the rescue

  57. more than web

  58. libraries SPL and tons of build-in functions plus packagist

  59. let’s get serious

  60. programmers wanted http://www.udemy.com/blog/modern-language-wars/ According to Craiglist.com, most companies are looking

    for developers fluent in php
  61. they want you, really

  62. Fabien Potencier “PHP is much better then you think” “PHP

    is probably not the best language out there, [...] but PHP is the best web platform... .
  63. Fabien Potencier “PHP is much better then you think” “PHP

    is probably not the best language out there, [...] but PHP is the best web platform... . ever.”
  64. thank you! follow me on Twitter @CodeStars or github.com/nesQuick

  65. questions? ask now or ping me later: @CodeStars or Ole@jimdo.com

  66. None
  67. http://i.imgur.com/MQHYB.jpg http://www.sxc.hu/photo/536650 http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2177/2238271809_3601c302b0.jpg http://www.flickr.com/photos/tekkebln/6674676047/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladytimeless/6872017034/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/buhtterfly/3711487510/sizes/l/in/photostream/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/dopey/6273168640/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/stickwithjosh/5288115744/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/hugo90/4455412652/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/shebalso/7051794259/

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/christophedelsol/6875754732/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/ffx-florbelasfotographix/3593162929/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/tom-poes/2525316618/ http://blog.claudiupersoiu.ro/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/IMG_2959.jpg http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22600000/Remember-Don-t-Feed-the-Trolls-fanpop-22675484-412-341.jpg http://www.free-picture.net/albums/space/earth-night-day.jpg sources special thanks to all the awesome people who supported me so nice: Elena <3 Nils Fridel Z Sönke Chris JIMDO!