marketing-bullshit-2023-digimarcon.pdf

Marketing is simple but not easy. We get caught up in bloated tools and unnecessary processes, then wonder what went wrong. No more. Learn to cut through the bullsh!t and be a better marketer.

Transcript

1. BULL$H1T! The short no-shortcut guide to marketing Ian lurie @ianlurie Ianlurie.com
2. This is me Founder, Portent Now a Marketing Consultant And semi-professional D&D player @ianlurie ian@ianlurie.com
3. @ianlurie Marketing is full of sh!t Provide clarity Maximize returns Love the data
4. @ianlurie
5. @ianlurie Where the bullsH!t starts Clarity & Priorities a separate, somewhat- related rant
6. @ianlurie our clients are not marketers and bosses
7. @ianlurie marketing Their business
8. @ianlurie if we make these changes, rankings will improve.
9. High Medium
10. @ianlurie graphs and charts and stuff and data shows the exineges of the beinges will kerfluffle the frim fram of the claptrap pipe connectors with a big fat dollop of bullshit on top
11. @ianlurie Own it Provide clarity Through data visualization
12. High Medium Low Ticketed In progress Done
14. @ianlurie next-level bullsh!t transactional marketing
15. @ianlurie Send ‘em to the registration form. - us
16. @ianlurie What we mean Make a visitor give us their personal information before they get to read some soul-sucking whitepaper
17. @ianlurie How customers respond First name: Screw Last name: You Phone: 222-333-4444 Email: leavemealone@foo.com
18. @ianlurie Own it Maximize Return On Time Invested
19. @ianlurie Informational transactional
20. @ianlurie the first transaction happens when the customer spends time
21. @ianlurie Pay with time Pay with $$
22. Pay with time Pay with $$ Pay with time Do i need help? Help me out! i need help!!! You can help? Can you help my friends?
23. Pay with time Pay with $$ Pay with time Ask for the visitor’s time Ask for their information (maybe) Ask for their $$ Keep in touch Invite them back
24. @ianlurie Don’t ask for anything until you Provide high Return on time invested
25. You’re in your garage up to your ankles in grease, so please buy a subscription.
26. Excellent!!!
27. Now ask me for something It’s even in context!!!
28. Great information, great ROTI Transactional call to action
29. The next step
31. Pure informational Visitor invests time
32. Return on time invested? Now visitor provides info
34. The freebie No registration required
35. In between Invest time Invest time Invest $$ Capybara break
36. @ianlurie tragic bullsh!t Seo as a marketing plan
37. @ianlurie We’ll grow using organic search. - us
38. @ianlurie What we mean We’re going to stake our business on a trillion-dollar company that frequently scratches its bum using our hopes and dreams
39. Google giveth… Google taketh…
40. @ianlurie Own it Maximize channel returns Add owned media
41. @ianlurie Give me something (high roti)
42. @ianlurie Then ask Grows the house list
43. Remember this?
44. Give me something…
45. …then ask
46. @ianlurie And listen.
47. @ianlurie total bullsh!t Blog posts as an seo strategy
48. @ianlurie Shower the web with content!!!!! - Actual human
49. @ianlurie What we mean We’re going to shower the web with crap writing, stuff it with keywords, and hope no one notices
50. @ianlurie The harsh reality We know what you’re doing. It’s embarrassing.
51. The recipe
52. Random topics
53. Think it’s good for SEO? penalty pruned
54. @ianlurie Own it Digital anthropology
55. Google suggest
56. Social
57. Everywhere
58. @ianlurie Own it Maximize ROTI Treat content as a product
60. Typography & format
61. Practicaltypography.com
62. @ianlurie Own it Maximize ROTI By Asking for less time
63. Squoosh.app
64. 270 kb
65. 135 kb
66. @ianlurie aggravating bullsh!t The denim pants problem (ego)
67. @ianlurie We sell denim pants!!!!! - anonymous
68. @ianlurie What they really mean Flickr / Joakim Jardenberg
69. @ianlurie Own it Provide clarity Do a little research
70. Google trends
71. Other search sites
72. Digital anthropology
73. @ianlurie Our jeans are great because they’re made from high-quality denim.
74. @ianlurie Nothing but love - me
75. @ianlurie moderate bullsh!t last-click attribution
76. organic sucks!
77. @ianlurie What we mean We don’t see many last-click conversions
78. @ianlurie Own it Love the data Look at assists
79. @ianlurie
80. @ianlurie
81. @ianlurie This content sucks! It doesn’t convert!!!! - us
82. @ianlurie What we mean We can’t see the whole story
83. @ianlurie Own it Love the qualitative data Look at the paths
85. Transactions Informational
87. @ianlurie Am I gonna get fired?
88. @ianlurie We lose gigs because we say nothing.
89. @ianlurie Be calmly relentless Provide clarity Maximize returns Love the data
90. You’ll get to do this…
91. …or this…
92. …or this.
93. @ianlurie Totally vegan Ian lurie Ianlurie.com @ianlurie