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Dear User, Let's Be Friends: Designing Friendly Interfaces - UX Lisbon 2022

Dear User, Let's Be Friends: Designing Friendly Interfaces - UX Lisbon 2022

One of the best books on user experience design is Dale Carnegie’s 1936 How to Win Friends and Influence People. No, really. This classic manual on human relations is more relevant than ever as human-computer interaction increasingly mimics human-to-human interaction. (Consider: conversational design, chatbots, voice interfaces, AI assistants, etc.)

In this session, you'll learn how to craft friendlier, more humane experiences by applying Carnegie’s “Nine Golden Principles to Become a Friendlier Person” to the design of digital things. Each principle is illustrated with examples of good and (hilariously) bad practices. If your app or site knows how to smile, your users might smile right back. Doesn’t that sound nice?

As presented at UX Lisbon on May 27, 2022. #UXLX

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Scott Kubie

May 27, 2022
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  1. @SCOTTKUBIE LET’S BE FRIENDS DEAR USER: Scott Kubie Author, Writing

    for Designers Coach, Content Career Accelerator Host, UX Content Office Hours Publisher, UX Writing Events UXLX 2022
  2. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE WRITE LIKE A HUMAN…

  3. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE WRITE LIKE A HUMAN…

  4. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE BUT WHAT KIND OF

    HUMAN?
  5. None
  6. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.

    HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE ▸ First published in 1936 ▸ 17 editions published in the first year ▸ Over 30 million copies sold worldwide ▸ Your boss has probably read it
  7. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.

  8. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.

  9. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.

    9 Golden Principles 1. No criticism 2. Sincere appreciation 3. An eager want 4. Genuine interest 5. Smile 6. Use their name 7. Listen 8. Speak of their interests 9. Make them feel important
  10. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 1. DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN,

    OR COMPLAIN. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
  11. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

  12. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

  13. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE XCEL ENERGY PRINCIPLE ONE:

    NO CRITICISM
  14. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
  15. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
  16. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
  17. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

  18. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM

  19. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 1. DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN,

    OR COMPLAIN. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
  20. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 2. GIVE HONEST, SINCERE

    APPRECIATION. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE TWO: SINCERE APPRECIATION
  21. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE ZAPPOS PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION

  22. None
  23. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE HY-VEE AISLES ONLINE PRINCIPLE

    TWO: APPRECIATION
  24. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION

  25. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION

  26. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE VIA SCREENSHOTSOFDESPAIR.TUMBLR.COM PRINCIPLE TWO:

    APPRECIATION
  27. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE APOLLO (REDDIT CLIENT) PRINCIPLE

    TWO: APPRECIATION
  28. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 2. GIVE HONEST, SINCERE

    APPRECIATION. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
  29. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 3. AROUSE IN THE

    OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
  30. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER

    WANT
  31. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER

    WANT
  32. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER

    WANT
  33. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE LINKEDIN PRINCIPLE THREE: AN

    EAGER WANT Image via Peter Stahl’s excellent presentation “Rhythm and Flow” at IA Summit 2012
  34. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE BILL.COM PRINCIPLE THREE: AN

    EAGER WANT ! ! ! ! ! !
  35. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER

    WANT
  36. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 3. AROUSE IN THE

    OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
  37. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 4. BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED

    IN OTHER PEOPLE. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
  38. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST

  39. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST

  40. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 4. APPEAR GENUINELY INTERESTED

    IN OTHER PEOPLE. Dale Carnegie The Golden Book ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
  41. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 4. BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED

    IN OTHER PEOPLE. Dale Carnegie The Golden Book ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
  42. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST

  43. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE LEAN CANVAS PRINCIPLE FOUR:

    GENUINE INTEREST
  44. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 4. BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED

    IN OTHER PEOPLE. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
  45. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 5. SMILE. Dale Carnegie

    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
  46. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE YELP (IOS APP) PRINCIPLE

    FIVE: :)
  47. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)

  48. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE NEWSBLUR PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)

  49. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE SLACK PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)

  50. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE FITBIT CHARGE HR PRINCIPLE

    FIVE: :)
  51. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 5. SMILE. Dale Carnegie

    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
  52. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 6. A PERSON’S NAME

    IS … THE SWEETEST AND MOST IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY LANGUAGE. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
  53. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE COMCAST PRINCIPLE SIX: USE

    THEIR NAME
  54. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR

    NAME
  55. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR

    NAME
  56. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR

    NAME
  57. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE CAM SCANNER PRINCIPLE SIX:

    USE THEIR NAME
  58. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR

    NAME
  59. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE GOOGLE NEWS PRINCIPLE SIX:

    USE THEIR NAME
  60. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR

    NAME
  61. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 6. A PERSON’S NAME

    IS … THE SWEETEST AND MOST IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY LANGUAGE. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
  62. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 7. BE A GOOD

    LISTENER. ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
  63. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE WYLTIWLT PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN

  64. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE INTERFACES AS CONVERSATION… DOES

    IT PASS THE WYLTIWLT TEST? ▸ Computer: Would you like to [x]? ▸ User: I would like to [x]. PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN From Jonathan Richards’s article “The Grammar of Interactivity” on UX Booth. http://www.uxbooth.com/articles/the-grammar-of-interactivity/
  65. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN From

    Jonathan Richards’s article “The Grammar of Interactivity” on UX Booth. http://www.uxbooth.com/articles/the-grammar-of-interactivity/
  66. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN

  67. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN Recover

    username Reset password
  68. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 7. BE A GOOD

    LISTENER. ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
  69. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 8. TALK IN TERMS

    OF THE OTHER PERSON’S INTERESTS. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
  70. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE RUNKEEPER (IOS NOTIFICATION) PRINCIPLE

    EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
  71. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE FRESH BOOKS PRINCIPLE EIGHT:

    SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
  72. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 8. TALK IN TERMS

    OF THE OTHER PERSON’S INTERESTS. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
  73. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 9. MAKE THE OTHER

    PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT—AND DO IT SINCERELY. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
  74. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE LYSOL (“HEALTHING” CAMPAIGN) PRINCIPLE

    NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
  75. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE DUOLINGO PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE

    THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
  76. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE HOVER.COM PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE

    THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
  77. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 9. MAKE THE OTHER

    PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT—AND DO IT SINCERELY. Dale Carnegie “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
  78. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE 9 Golden Principles 1.

    No criticism 2. Sincere appreciation 3. An eager want 4. Genuine interest 5. Smile 6. Use their name 7. Listen 8. Speak of their interests 9. Make them feel important