Dear User, Let's Be Friends: Designing Friendly Interfaces - UX Lisbon 2022

One of the best books on user experience design is Dale Carnegie’s 1936 How to Win Friends and Influence People. No, really. This classic manual on human relations is more relevant than ever as human-computer interaction increasingly mimics human-to-human interaction. (Consider: conversational design, chatbots, voice interfaces, AI assistants, etc.)

In this session, you'll learn how to craft friendlier, more humane experiences by applying Carnegie’s “Nine Golden Principles to Become a Friendlier Person” to the design of digital things. Each principle is illustrated with examples of good and (hilariously) bad practices. If your app or site knows how to smile, your users might smile right back. Doesn’t that sound nice?

As presented at UX Lisbon on May 27, 2022. #UXLX

Transcript

1. @SCOTTKUBIE
   LET’S BE FRIENDS
   DEAR USER:
   Scott Kubie
   Author, Writing for Designers
   Coach, Content Career Accelerator
   Host, UX Content Office Hours
   Publisher, UX Writing Events
   UXLX 2022
   

   View Slide

2. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   WRITE LIKE A
   HUMAN…
   

   View Slide

3. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   WRITE LIKE A
   HUMAN…
   

   View Slide

4. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   BUT WHAT KIND
   OF HUMAN?
   

   View Slide

5. View Slide

6. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.
   HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
   ▸ First published in 1936
   ▸ 17 editions published in the first year
   ▸ Over 30 million copies sold
   worldwide
   ▸ Your boss has probably read it
   

   View Slide

7. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.
   

   View Slide

8. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.
   

   View Slide

9. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
   ONE SERIOUSLY INFLUENTIAL BOOK.
   9 Golden Principles
   1. No criticism
   2. Sincere appreciation
   3. An eager want
   4. Genuine interest
   5. Smile
   6. Use their name
   7. Listen
   8. Speak of their interests
   9. Make them feel important
   

   View Slide

10. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    1. DON’T CRITICIZE,
    CONDEMN, OR
    COMPLAIN.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

11. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

12. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

13. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    XCEL ENERGY
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

14. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
    

    View Slide

15. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
    

    View Slide

16. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    CONFIRMSHAMING.TUMBLR.COM | CRUELESTOPTOUTS.TUMBLR.COM
    

    View Slide

17. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

18. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

19. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    1. DON’T CRITICIZE,
    CONDEMN, OR
    COMPLAIN.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE ONE: NO CRITICISM
    

    View Slide

20. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    2. GIVE HONEST,
    SINCERE
    APPRECIATION.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE TWO: SINCERE APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

21. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    ZAPPOS
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

22. View Slide

23. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    HY-VEE AISLES ONLINE
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

24. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

25. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

26. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    VIA SCREENSHOTSOFDESPAIR.TUMBLR.COM
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

27. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    APOLLO (REDDIT CLIENT)
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

28. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    2. GIVE HONEST,
    SINCERE
    APPRECIATION.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE TWO: APPRECIATION
    

    View Slide

29. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    3. AROUSE IN THE
    OTHER PERSON AN
    EAGER WANT.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

30. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

31. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

32. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

33. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    LINKEDIN
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    Image via Peter Stahl’s excellent presentation “Rhythm and Flow” at IA Summit 2012
    

    View Slide

34. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    BILL.COM
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    !
    !
    !
    !
    !
    !
    

    View Slide

35. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

36. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    3. AROUSE IN THE
    OTHER PERSON AN
    EAGER WANT.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE THREE: AN EAGER WANT
    

    View Slide

37. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    4. BECOME
    GENUINELY
    INTERESTED IN
    OTHER PEOPLE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

38. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

39. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

40. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    4. APPEAR
    GENUINELY
    INTERESTED IN
    OTHER PEOPLE.
    Dale Carnegie
    The Golden Book ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

41. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    4. BECOME
    GENUINELY
    INTERESTED IN
    OTHER PEOPLE.
    Dale Carnegie
    The Golden Book ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

42. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

43. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    LEAN CANVAS
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

44. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    4. BECOME GENUINELY
    INTERESTED IN OTHER
    PEOPLE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FOUR: GENUINE INTEREST
    

    View Slide

45. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    5. SMILE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

46. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    YELP (IOS APP)
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

47. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

48. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    NEWSBLUR
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

49. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    SLACK
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

50. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    FITBIT CHARGE HR
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

51. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    5. SMILE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE FIVE: :)
    

    View Slide

52. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    6. A PERSON’S NAME IS …
    THE SWEETEST AND MOST
    IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY
    LANGUAGE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

53. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    COMCAST
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

54. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

55. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

56. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

57. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    CAM SCANNER
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

58. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

59. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    GOOGLE NEWS
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

60. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

61. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    6. A PERSON’S NAME IS …
    THE SWEETEST AND MOST
    IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY
    LANGUAGE.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE SIX: USE THEIR NAME
    

    View Slide

62. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    7. BE A GOOD
    LISTENER. ENCOURAGE
    OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT
    THEMSELVES.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    

    View Slide

63. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    WYLTIWLT
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    

    View Slide

64. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    INTERFACES AS CONVERSATION…
    DOES IT PASS THE
    WYLTIWLT TEST?
    ▸ Computer: Would
    you like to [x]?
    ▸ User: I would like
    to [x].
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    From Jonathan Richards’s article “The Grammar of Interactivity” on UX Booth.
    http://www.uxbooth.com/articles/the-grammar-of-interactivity/
    

    View Slide

65. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    From Jonathan Richards’s article “The Grammar of Interactivity” on UX Booth.
    http://www.uxbooth.com/articles/the-grammar-of-interactivity/
    

    View Slide

66. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    

    View Slide

67. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    Recover username
    Reset password
    

    View Slide

68. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    7. BE A GOOD
    LISTENER. ENCOURAGE
    OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT
    THEMSELVES.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE SEVEN: LISTEN
    

    View Slide

69. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    8. TALK IN TERMS
    OF THE OTHER
    PERSON’S
    INTERESTS.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
    

    View Slide

70. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    RUNKEEPER (IOS NOTIFICATION)
    PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
    

    View Slide

71. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    FRESH BOOKS
    PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
    

    View Slide

72. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    8. TALK IN TERMS
    OF THE OTHER
    PERSON’S
    INTERESTS.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE EIGHT: SPEAK OF THEIR INTERESTS
    

    View Slide

73. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    9. MAKE THE OTHER
    PERSON FEEL
    IMPORTANT—AND DO
    IT SINCERELY.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
    

    View Slide

74. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    LYSOL (“HEALTHING” CAMPAIGN)
    PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
    

    View Slide

75. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    DUOLINGO
    PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
    

    View Slide

76. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    HOVER.COM
    PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
    

    View Slide

77. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    9. MAKE THE OTHER
    PERSON FEEL
    IMPORTANT—AND DO
    IT SINCERELY.
    Dale Carnegie
    “The Golden Book” ➝ Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People ➝ Become a Friendlier Person
    PRINCIPLE NINE: MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT
    

    View Slide

78. DEAR USER: LET’S BE FRIENDS @SCOTTKUBIE
    9 Golden Principles
    1. No criticism
    2. Sincere appreciation
    3. An eager want
    4. Genuine interest
    5. Smile
    6. Use their name
    7. Listen
    8. Speak of their interests
    9. Make them feel important
    

    View Slide