SkillSwap node.js

These are the slides from my tech talk given at skill swap at CMU for SkillSwap Weekend.

Transcript

1. node.js
2. node
3. t f g sethvargo
4. fuck shit dammit ass
5. what’s node?
6. event-driven non-blocking server-side
7. event-driven non-blocking server-side javascript
8. node’s goal is to provide an easy way to build scalable network programs
9. node’s goal is to provide an easy way to build scalable programs
10. make shit
11. make shit ^ better
12. make shit ^ better ™
13. Google V8 Engine
14. Google V8 Engine Makes Javascript really fucking fast ^
15. this is node
16. var http = require('http'); http.createServer(function (req, res) { res.writeHead(200, {'Content-Type': 'text/plain'}); res.end('Hello World\n'); }).listen(1337, '127.0.0.1'); console.log('Server running at http://127.0.0.1:1337/');
17. complete webserver
18. var http = require('http'); http.createServer(function (req, res) { res.writeHead(200, {'Content-Type': 'text/plain'}); res.end('Hello World\n'); }).listen(1337, '127.0.0.1'); console.log('Server running at http://127.0.0.1:1337/'); 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... in just 8 lines
19. that was node
20. why node?
21. new technology
22. new technology
23. existing technology
24. existing technology repurposed
25. existing technology repurposed patterns
26. fucking package it has a manager
27. node package manager
28. npm
29. an amazing community
30. 14,350 packages
31. write less do more
32. asychronous I/O
33. “Get the fuck off of my CPU”
34. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt'); complexFileOperation(data); Old I/O
35. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt'); // Tie up the CPU while I read that file complexFileOperation(data); Old I/O
36. I want to write the most inefficient program for your CPU
37. I want to write the most inefficient program for your CPU - no one, ever “ ”
38. Yet you do it every fucking day!
39. is I/O blocking Ruby Python Java SQL PHP
40. is I/O blocking Ruby Python Java SQL PHP by default
41. node is asynchronous
42. node has asynchronous I/O
43. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime otherFunction(); New I/O
44. event-driven behavior
45. after I do this, I need to do that
46. after I do this, I need to do that
47. after this, do that
48. if x, then y
49. when I’m done shopping, I need to pay the bill
50. the Ruby way while(!poor) do (@amount ||= 0) += shop end pay(@amount)
51. that makes 0 sense
52. the node way shop(function(amount) { pay(amount); });
53. fundamentally different way of thinking
54. fundamentally different type of programming
55. fundamentally different
56. and that’s okay
57. sometimes it really fucking sucks
58. there’s only one thread
59. Yay! No threading!
60. Shit! No threading!
61. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime while(true) { ... } what does this do?
62. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime while(true) { ... } what does this do?
63. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { // never fires }); // blocks the entire thread while(true) { ... } what does this do?
64. var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { // never fires }); // blocks the entire thread while(true) { ... } nothing...
65. “my algorithms are tightly CPU-bound “
66. “my algorithms are tightly CPU-bound “ don’t use node
67. let’s code
68. catman
69. annoying 5 year old
70. tcp chat