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ARCHER 1006 storyboards
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Taylor Parrish
June 19, 2019
Design
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ARCHER 1006 storyboards
Taylor Parrish
June 19, 2019
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Transcript
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Dialog LANA Okay there?s gotta be a logical explanation.
Dialog LANA Okay there?s gotta be a logical explanation.
Dialog ARCHER Lana, there?s nothing logical about shaving --
Dialog ARCHER Lana, there?s nothing logical about shaving --
Dialog LANA Not talking about your hair, dumbass!
Dialog CYRIL None of this makes any sense.
Dialog CYRIL None of this makes any sense.
Dialog CHERYL Uh ever consider the fact we?re obviously ghosts...
looking at our own stupid, dead bodies.
Dialog CHERYL Uh ever consider the fact we?re obviously ghosts...
looking at our own stupid, dead bodies.
Dialog CHERYL Uh ever consider the fact we?re obviously ghosts...
looking at our own stupid, dead bodies.
Dialog PAM We?re not ghosts, numb nuts.
Dialog CHERYL How do you kno --?
Dialog CHERYL How do you kno --?
Dialog CHERYL (PWAP) -OW!
Dialog CHERYL (PWAP) -OW!
Dialog CHERYL (CONT?D) God, buy a girl a drink first,
Jesus.
Dialog CHERYL (CONT?D) God, buy a girl a drink first,
Jesus.
Dialog CHERYL (CONT?D) God, buy a girl a drink first,
Jesus.
Dialog KRIEGER Is anyone here familiar with multi- verse theory?
Dialog KRIEGER Is anyone here familiar with multi- verse theory?
None
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Dialog ARCHER Pretend we?re not.
Dialog KRIEGER Long story short, this may be a parallel
universe, making these...
Dialog KRIEGER Long story short, this may be a parallel
universe, making these...
Dialog KRIEGER Our doppelgangers.
Dialog KRIEGER Our doppelgangers.
Dialog PAM Doppel-what?
Dialog KRIEGER Sort of like everyone?s alter-egos.
Dialog CYRIL Not everyone?s.
Dialog ARCHER Yeah where?s yours, Krieger?
Dialog ARCHER Yeah where?s yours, Krieger?
Dialog PAM Maybe doppel-Krieger survived.
Dialog CHERYL Yeah and maybe he killed everybody.
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog KRIEGER (nervous chuckle) Please... Why would I -- ever
-- finally do that --
Dialog ZZZRRCHHHH.
Dialog ZZZRRCHHHH.
Dialog ZZZRRCHHHH.
Dialog CYRIL What the hell?
Dialog CYRIL What the hell?
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Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) Mayday, mayday, this is Sterling Archer
of the USS Seamus and we are going down. Repeat, we are going down. Transmitting our location now...
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) Mayday, mayday, this is Sterling Archer
of the USS Seamus and we are going down. Repeat, we are going down. Transmitting our location now...
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) Mayday, mayday, this is Sterling Archer
of the USS Seamus and we are going down. Repeat, we are going down. Transmitting our location now...
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) Mayday, mayday, this is Sterling Archer
of the USS Seamus and we are going down. Repeat, we are going down. Transmitting our location now...
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) Mayday, mayday, this is Sterling Archer
of the USS Seamus and we are going down. Repeat, we are going down. Transmitting our location now...
None
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) And on a personal note,
whoever gets this, please know my only regret is --
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) And on a personal note,
whoever gets this, please know my only regret is --
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) And on a personal note,
whoever gets this, please know my only regret is --
Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) (CONT?D) The hair obviously --
Dialog THE GROUP (O.C.) [Shh!/shut up! Etc.]
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) I wasn?t able to save my
valiant crew. My dear friends Cyril, Pam, Krieger, Ray, Crystal --
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) I wasn?t able to save my
valiant crew. My dear friends Cyril, Pam, Krieger, Ray, Crystal --
Dialog CHERYL (O.C.) Ohmygod totally forgot about the Crystal thing
--
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) -- I love you all dearly.
Truly the best friends a guy could have.
Dialog PAM (O.C.) Aww --
Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) Gimme a fucking --
Dialog THE GROUP (O.C.) [Shh!/shut up! Etc.]
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) But most of all, I?ll miss
my wife, Lana.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) But most of all, I?ll miss
my wife, Lana.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) But most of all, I?ll miss
my wife, Lana.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) You?re the greatest thing that
ever happened to me. I wrote you this poem I want to read.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) You?re the greatest thing that
ever happened to me. I wrote you this poem I want to read.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) You?re the greatest thing that
ever happened to me. I wrote you this poem I want to read.
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) It?s called, ?I?ll Never Stop
--
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) It?s called, ?I?ll Never Stop
--
Dialog ARCHER (ON MONITOR) (CONT?D) It?s called, ?I?ll Never Stop
--
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Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) -- totally embarrassing yourself?
Dialog THE GROUP [Hey!/What the hell?! Etc...]
Dialog THE GROUP [Hey!/What the hell?! Etc...]
Dialog KRIEGER You realize theoretically that was you.
Dialog ARCHER How?! He?s nothing like me!
Dialog LANA Got a point. He did seem entirely non-self-absorbed.
Dialog LANA Got a point. He did seem entirely non-self-absorbed.
Dialog ARCHER Exactly. Wait -- what?
Dialog ARCHER Exactly. Wait -- what?
Dialog PAM And weirdly not a dick --
Dialog ARCHER You?re weirdly not a dick --!
Dialog LANA Makes no sense --
Dialog CYRIL Yeah that other Archer was refreshingly friendly.
Dialog ARCHER Yeah like what you think matters, Cyril.
Dialog CYRIL Annnd we?re back.
Dialog CYRIL Annnd we?re back.
Dialog LANA And is it just me or was the
shaved head thing super working?
Dialog LANA And is it just me or was the
shaved head thing super working?
Dialog PAM Massive sploosh --
Dialog PAM Massive sploosh --
Dialog CHERYL Totally --
Dialog KRIEGER I was into it --
Dialog KRIEGER I was into it --
Dialog ARCHER Fine! Know what?! Be into it!
Dialog ARCHER Fine! Know what?! Be into it!
Dialog ARCHER Fine! Know what?! Be into it!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) Just sit there and be into the
non- hair having, clearly castrated version of me while I go find a fuel cell to get out us all out of here! Which p.s. --!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) -- is pretty much the opposite of
self-absorbed!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) -- is pretty much the opposite of
self-absorbed!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) -- is pretty much the opposite of
self-absorbed!
Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) -- is pretty much the opposite of
self-absorbed!
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Dialog LANA So how?s the bubbly thing going? Still sportin?that
nine?
Dialog LANA So how?s the bubbly thing going? Still sportin?that
nine?
None
Dialog ARCHER ...no.
Dialog BWAAAAAAAAAAR!!
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Dialog CYRIL Are you making any of the following claims
for emotional distress?
Dialog CYRIL Are you making any of the following claims
for emotional distress?
Dialog CYRIL Yes,...yes,...Well these are all a ?yes? now.
Dialog CYRIL Yes,...yes,...Well these are all a ?yes? now.
Dialog CYRIL Yes,...yes,...Well these are all a ?yes? now.
Dialog CYRIL Yes,...yes,...Well these are all a ?yes? now.
Dialog KARUMP!
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Dialog THE GROUP [screaming in terror]
Dialog THE GROUP [screaming in terror]
Dialog CHERYL [laughing hysterically]
Dialog CHERYL [laughing hysterically]
Dialog CHERYL [laughing hysterically]
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Dialog PAM -- shit I?m heavy!
Dialog PAM -- shit I?m heavy!
Dialog PAM -- shit I?m heavy!
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Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) Incoming!
Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) Incoming!
Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) Incoming!
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Dialog BWAAAAAAAAAAR!!
Dialog BWAAAAAAAAAAR!!
Dialog LANA (muffled) So I officially quit.
Dialog LANA (muffled) So I officially quit.
Dialog LANA (muffled) So I officially quit.
Dialog ARCHER (O.C.) And speaking of good news...
None
Dialog ARCHER I assume finding this crammed up my ass
qualifies?
Dialog ARCHER I assume finding this crammed up my ass
qualifies?
Dialog ARCHER I assume finding this crammed up my ass
qualifies?
Dialog CYRIL Is that a fuel cell? Thank God.
Dialog CYRIL Is that a fuel cell? Thank God.
Dialog CYRIL Is that a fuel cell? Thank God.
Dialog ARCHER Shut up, Cyril, you still don?t matter.
Dialog CHERYL (chuckles) It?s funny ?cause it?s true.
Dialog CHERYL (chuckles) It?s funny ?cause it?s true.
Dialog CHERYL (chuckles) It?s funny ?cause it?s true.
Dialog CHERYL (chuckles) It?s funny ?cause it?s true.