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Erlang Fight Club

Tom Santero
October 02, 2013

Erlang Fight Club

I have no words to describe this.

Tom Santero

October 02, 2013
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  1. @tsantero
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  2. in  the  beginning  it  was  
    called  Prolog,  but  we’ve  
    moved  out  of  the  basements  
    and  now  we  call  it  Erlang
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  3. Ericsson  put  it  on  their  
    switches...now  we  had  
    corporate  sponsorship.
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  4. you are not your job.
    you are not how many processes you have
    on the queue.
    you’re not the contents of your ets table
    you’re not your fucking heap.
    you are the all singing, all dancing
    crap of the beam.
    and you’re going to fail fast.
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  5. 1st Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  6. 1st Rule
    rule1()  -­‐>  ["you  do  not  talk  about  erlang"  |  rule1()].
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  7. 2nd Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  8. 2nd Rule
    rule2()  -­‐>  ["you  DO  NOT  talk  about  erlang"  |  rule2()].
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  9. 3rd Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  10. 3rd Rule
    if  a  process  unexpectedly  quits,
    hangs,  crashes:  you  spawn  a  new  process
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  11. 4th Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  12. 4th Rule
    -­‐export([fight/2]).
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  13. 5th Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  14. 5th Rule
    +sbt
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  15. 6th Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  16. 6th Rule
    Single  Serving  Variables
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  17. 7th Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  18. 7th Rule
    programs  will  run  as  long  as  
    they  have  to
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  19. 8th Rule
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  20. 8th Rule
    if  this  is  your  first  time  
    using  Erlang,  you  have  to  
    write  it.
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  21. this  is  your  net_ticktime,  and  it’s  ending  one  millisecond  at  a  time
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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  22. Thanks!
    Wednesday, October 2, 13

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