Erlang Fight Club

I have no words to describe this.

Transcript

1. @tsantero Wednesday, October 2, 13
2. in  the  beginning  it  was   called  Prolog,  but  we’ve   moved  out  of  the  basements   and  now  we  call  it  Erlang Wednesday, October 2, 13
3. Ericsson  put  it  on  their   switches...now  we  had   corporate  sponsorship. Wednesday, October 2, 13
4. you are not your job. you are not how many processes you have on the queue. you’re not the contents of your ets table you’re not your fucking heap. you are the all singing, all dancing crap of the beam. and you’re going to fail fast. Wednesday, October 2, 13
5. 1st Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
6. 1st Rule rule1()  -­‐>  ["you  do  not  talk  about  erlang"  |  rule1()]. Wednesday, October 2, 13
7. 2nd Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
8. 2nd Rule rule2()  -­‐>  ["you  DO  NOT  talk  about  erlang"  |  rule2()]. Wednesday, October 2, 13
9. 3rd Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
10. 3rd Rule if  a  process  unexpectedly  quits, hangs,  crashes:  you  spawn  a  new  process Wednesday, October 2, 13
11. 4th Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
12. 4th Rule -­‐export([fight/2]). Wednesday, October 2, 13
13. 5th Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
14. 5th Rule +sbt Wednesday, October 2, 13
15. 6th Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
16. 6th Rule Single  Serving  Variables Wednesday, October 2, 13
17. 7th Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
18. 7th Rule programs  will  run  as  long  as   they  have  to Wednesday, October 2, 13
19. 8th Rule Wednesday, October 2, 13
20. 8th Rule if  this  is  your  first  time   using  Erlang,  you  have  to   write  it. Wednesday, October 2, 13
21. this  is  your  net_ticktime,  and  it’s  ending  one  millisecond  at  a  time Wednesday, October 2, 13
22. Thanks! Wednesday, October 2, 13