Shitty Witch Intern (Pitch Bible)

Transcript

2. It’s modern day-- people text each other, stream shows on Netflix, order food on DoorDash, cast spells-- Oh right, magic is a thing and always has been a thing. The year is 2020 in an alternate reality of San Francisco, and while we are in the midst of a tech boom, witches, wizards, and warlocks are out there earning their share amongst everyone else. On the way to work one may pass some dwarven construction workers, a pixie traffic cop, and an ogre grocer. Just watch out for the troll toll bridge worker.
3. Inspired by shows such as Ugly Americans, The Office, and Ugly Betty, Shitty Witch Intern is an adult animated sitcom that follows Kristelia Warwick, aka KRIS, a freshly graduated witch from SF State (majoring in Marketing). Like many recent grads, she is struggling to find work and pay off those loans. After dozens of rejections and failed interviews, Kris is hired as a (marginally) paid intern at the formerly renowned lifestyle company , HomeSpell (Extraordinary Magic for your Ordinary Life™).
4. Kris truly wants to become a successful witch, but her self destructive tendancies are constantly getting in her way . When she really tries, she can be perserverant and innovative, but she becomes too desperate to prove herself and takes on more than she can handle. Kristelia “Kris” Warwick is, to be quite honest, a pretty awful witch. Well, not awful, but definitely not living up to her potential. She uses the microwave to brew her potions, she conjures spirits to do her chores, and is constantly relying on her work friend Elliot to help her at her job. Well, not a job, but an internship.
5. Circe is the CEO and face of HomeSpell Lifestyle. She’s been is the this role since the founder (her mother), Lilith retired a few hundred years ago. Constantly trying to live up to her family’s prestige, Circe has a tough exterior, strong will, and lives to surpass her mother’s success. Unfortunately, for the past couple decades, Circe has been stuck in the past. The prime of her life was the 1980’s- - where powerful business women and shoulder pads were everywhere. In order to to get the success she wants, Circe must over overcome her fear of change or else HomeSpell will become a thing of the past.
6. Elliot’s fault is his lack of self motivation and tendency to not see his own potential, in both his professional and personal life. He is dating his college sweetheart, Morgana, a vampire who pushes him in all the wrong ways. Where would Kris be without Elliot? Probably still working at HomeSpell, but definitely less sane. Elliot Rein is one of the few people who Kris connects with at the office. He is one of Homespell’s great accountants and has been crunching numbers there since he graduated college a few years ago. While Elliot can be a closed book to most around the office, Kris helps to open up his sarcastic-jokey self.
7. Of course Homespell couldn’t run without its other colorful characters. Everyone who enters Homespell is warmly greeted by Beverly Lich, the million year (yes a MILLION YEAR) old receptionist who has been rumored to be with Homespell since the begining of time itself.
8. Circe has turned a blind eye to modern sensibilities and hasn’t updated her palm pilot in decades. She believes in doing magic “the right way” and that tradition is king. Kris enters Homespell when their stock is at its lowest. Kris sees how outdated Homespell is and takes it on herself to make the changes that Circe is resistant to make. However, these high tech short cuts can sometimes come at a price. This forces Circe and Kris to stike a balance between tradition and modernism in order to bring Homespell to its former glory . In this day and age where drones can deliver you toilet paper in a few hours and you can watch the latest cat memes on your phone while you wait in the bathroom for said toilet paper, technology has come to rival magic. Why fly on a broom when you an be riding in a Lambo? Homespell is surrounded by tech start ups and is deperately trying to stay relevant to its consumers. Magic is so retro, but not in a good way.
9. Episode 1: Pilot Kris is rushed to work after sleeping in only to find what she is needed for is just bringing her boss Circe her breakfast. Kris vents her frustrations to her work buddy, Elliot, who jokes with her and to tells her to go and tell Circe how she feels. Kris takes this too seriously and when going to stand up for herself, gets roped into a board meeting with the Eldritch Council (or what most companies would refer to as the Board of Directors). Kris comes up with a great idea that saves Circe from being burned at the stake (or what most companies would refer to as getting fired). Kris now must help Circe actualize this idea and accept the concequences of her new found responsibilities.
10. Thank you for viewing!