Negotiation for Hackers

Initially presented at Burlington Ruby Conference 2013.

Transcript

1. negotiation for hackers Danielle E. Sucher dsucher@gmail.com @DanielleSucher
3. All offers are negotiable
4. Most of this stuff is generally applicable
6. I just want to code!
7. What if they withdraw their offer?
8. Be grateful if they do
9. It’s scary, but important.
10. even small salary increases make a big difference A $5,000 salary difference at age 25, with a 3% raise each year, leads to over $300,000 more in lifetime earnings by age 60.
12. How can you get more comfortable asking for things?
13. Develop a habit of asking
14. #RubyNoCount
15. “i was at a bar in notting hill for C’s birthday party i'd gotten a cake from Hummingbird - it was a nice one, they're like 40 pounds and that night was the only time someone ever offered me drugs in London a dude came up, and told me had coke to sell. i declined he offered a sample i said, what will you give me for a slice of cake? he said, how about a line? i said, pointing to C and J, i'm with my friends he said, ok, three lines i felt good about my nego there, but did not actually accept you can name me in the coke story i am not ashamed of that one i come off as not only a shrewd negotiator but a thoughtful friend, i think” practice all the time
16. But what should I ask for?
17. $$$, obvs. (but how much?!)
18. ask everyone you know how much they earn
20. Talking about money is more taboo than talking about sex
21. Silence only benefits employers and hurts you
22. Try to minimize selection bias
23. other resources
24. • GlassDoor.com other resources
25. • GlassDoor.com • Guidestar.com other resources
26. • GlassDoor.com • Guidestar.com • Recruiters other resources
27. • GlassDoor.com • Guidestar.com • Recruiters • Mailing lists other resources
28. Now that you’ve done your research...
29. Ask for stuff that benefits you more than it costs them
30. A raise has greater value compared to what you earn than compared to what your company pays for you
31. Money isn’t the only thing that matters
32. other stuff you might want
33. • Vacation/flex time other stuff you might want
34. • Vacation/flex time • Freedom to work remotely other stuff you might want
35. • Vacation/flex time • Freedom to work remotely • Conference budget other stuff you might want
36. • Vacation/flex time • Freedom to work remotely • Conference budget • Help finding an apartment other stuff you might want
37. • Vacation/flex time • Freedom to work remotely • Conference budget • Help finding an apartment • Cash they’d otherwise be spending on health insurance (if you’re already covered) other stuff you might want
38. Throw-aways
39. But how should I ask?
40. create a connection
41. • Use the word “we” create a connection
42. • Use the word “we” • Use similar language create a connection
43. • Use the word “we” • Use similar language • Especially early in the conversation! create a connection
44. • Use the word “we” • Use similar language • Especially early in the conversation! • Chat about things you have in common create a connection
45. • Use the word “we” • Use similar language • Especially early in the conversation! • Chat about things you have in common • Mirror their body language create a connection
46. This is all stuff we do naturally when we feel comfortable
47. Mimic Octopus!
48. more body language
49. • Make eye contact more body language
50. • Make eye contact • Don’t fidget more body language
51. • Make eye contact • Don’t fidget • Sit up straight more body language
52. • Make eye contact • Don’t fidget • Sit up straight • It’ll even make you FEEL more confident! more body language
53. Body language
54. How can I avoid naming numbers? (Hint: maybe you shouldn’t!)
55. my salary history is none of your business
56. my salary history is none of your business •“My current employment agreement forbids me from disclosing my salary details.”
57. my salary history is none of your business •“My current employment agreement forbids me from disclosing my salary details.” •“My salary history isn’t representative of the value I bring to this position.”
58. my salary history is none of your business •“My current employment agreement forbids me from disclosing my salary details.” •“My salary history isn’t representative of the value I bring to this position.” •“I don’t want to anchor you. I’ve read the studies!”
59. Anchoring
60. Any random number you hear can hijack your brain
61. So don’t be afraid of being the first person to name a number
62. What if they think I asked for too much?
63. It works even on people who are aware of it
64. What if they anchor me? How can I escape?
65. How do I know I’m asking for enough?
66. Embrace discomfort
67. What else should we look out for?
68. clauses to watch out for
69. clauses to watch out for •Assignment of Inventions
70. clauses to watch out for •Assignment of Inventions •Best efforts
71. clauses to watch out for •Assignment of Inventions •Best efforts •Non-competition
72. clauses to watch out for •Assignment of Inventions •Best efforts •Non-competition •Non-solicitation
73. clauses to watch out for •Assignment of Inventions •Best efforts •Non-competition •Non-solicitation •Non-disclosure
74. Collaborative bargaining
75. zero-sum games suck
76. I want x and they want !x
77. Focus on interests, not positions
78. Figure out what you actually care about
79. Ask yourself and them: “What are your concerns?”
80. (Don’t do this via email!)
82. You want to give them what they want
83. brainstorm solutions that address both parties’ concerns
84. Make it easy for them to give you what you want
85. “Can I send you some proposed language?”
86. Do the research for them
87. Give them something they can use to justify the deal to their supervisor
88. other resources
89. other resources • @bakadesuyo
90. other resources • @bakadesuyo • All studies, all the time!
91. other resources • @bakadesuyo • All studies, all the time! • LessWrong.com
92. other resources • @bakadesuyo • All studies, all the time! • LessWrong.com • Especially the Sequences - http:// wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Sequences
93. books you should read •Babcock, Linda and Sara Laschever, Ask For It •Cialdini, Robert B., Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion •Faber, Adele & Elizabeth Mazlish, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk •Fisher, Roger & William Ury, Getting to Yes •Kahneman, Daniel, Thinking Fast and Slow •Schelling, Thomas C., The Strategy of Conflict
96. Don’t be scared to ask. “What are your real concerns here?” Carve an easy path.
97. a few citations Anchoring • Quattrone, G.A., Lawrence, C.P., Finkel, S.E., & Andrus, D.C. (1981). Explorations in anchoring: The effects of prior range, anchor extremity, and suggestive hints. Manuscript, Stanford University. • Simmons, J., LeBoeuf, R., Nelson, L. (2010). The effect of accuracy motivation on anchoring and adjustment: Do people adjust from provided anchors?. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99(6), 917-932. • Tversky, A., Kahneman, D. (1974). Judgment under uncertainty: Heuristics and biases. Science, 185, 1124-1131. Familiarity and Mimicry • Housley, M.K., Claypool, H.M., Garcia-Marques, T., Mackie, D.M. (2010). ‘‘We” are familiar but ‘‘It” is not: Ingroup pronouns trigger feelings of familiarity. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46, 114-119. • Swaab, R.I., Maddux, W.W., Sinaceur, M. (2010). Early words that work: When and how virtual linguistic mimicry facilitates negotiation outcomes. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47, 616-621.
98. photo credits • A Sailor’s Nightmare (cc) BY-NC 2.0 Christopher Schoenbohm, http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisschoenbohm/ 4676731135/ • Bullet Hole in my Window (cc) BY-ND 2.0 Jonathan Kos-Read, http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathankosread/ 6755508197/ • Divide : Scared To Death (cc) BY-NC-SA 2.0 Lam HUA, http://www.flickr.com/photos/monsieurlam/1895335386/ • Easy Button (cc) BY-NC 2.0 Jose Zaragoza, http://www.flickr.com/photos/jose_zaragoza/1520808946/ • Evil Monkey Alexandria (cc) BY-ND 2.0 RIQ, http://www.flickr.com/photos/-riq-/4425103834/ • FEAR (cc) BY 2.0 Matt Honan, http://www.flickr.com/photos/honan/3483959292/ • In Perfect Congruence (cc) BY 2.0 malias, http://www.flickr.com/photos/-riq-/4425103834/ • Listen (cc) BY-SA 2.0 Simon Law, http://www.flickr.com/photos/sfllaw/509089704/ • Mimic Octopus (cc) BY-NC 2.0 Buzz, http://www.flickr.com/photos/buzzthediver/4373010196/ • Nic belaying Hannah... (cc) BY-NC-SA 2.0 Tom Bush, http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomas_bush/7170320536/ • orange drops (cc) BY-NC-SA 2.0 Steve Wall, http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevewall/807775881/ • Questions (cc) BY-NC-SA 2.0 Tim O’Brien, http://www.flickr.com/photos/oberazzi/318947873 • Super Nervous (cc) BY-NC-SA 2.0 andresthor, http://www.flickr.com/photos/andresthor/3810596963/
99. #RubyNoCount @DanielleSucher dsucher@gmail.com negotiation for hackers