Gerontophilia Considered Harmful

Lightning Talk from YAPC::NA::2016, as delivered by Mett Smeggin Troot

Transcript

1. Hi! Hi! My name is Mett Smeggin Troot!
2. my name is Hi! My name is Mett Smeggin Troot!
3. me+ smeggin troot Hi! My name is Mett Smeggin Troot!
4. mst? For some reason, I am constantly being confused for another Perl person with same initials.
5. !mst This is annoying! I am not this MST person.
6. gerontophilia considered harmful Also, this talk title, this is all wrong.
7. who is this geneheck? This speaker coordinator geneheck has messed this all up
8. gerontoPERLia considered harmful no, my talk is "gerotoPERLia considered harmful"
9. what even is gerontoPERLia? what even is this?
10. using old Perl when you don't need to it is using old perl when you don't have a reason to!
11. not interpreter version to be clear, i'm not really talking about version of perl you use
12. solved problem. we can fix old perl interpreter problem, we have the tools
13. use perlplbrewenv. solved! we have the technology.
14. language features no, i'm talking about language features.
15. maintaining backwards compaBbility i'm talking about fetishistically maintaining backward compatibility with earlier versions of the language when you're using a more modern version
16. OH WAIT hold up.
17. are you on the toolchain gang? are you part of the Perl toolchain gang?
18. i'm sorry. oh god I'm so sorry you have to deal with that
19. thank you so much. also, thank you for all you do. i appreciate it deeply.
20. everybody else? but the rest of you? not on toolchain gang?
21. use new features! use new perl features already!
22. why? why is this important?
23. virtuous circle! because there's a feedback loop here
24. dev makes feature. feature gets used. dev is happy. dev make more new feature. language gets be+er! everybody wins. ❤ {read slide}
25. alternaBve? if we don't do that, what happens?
26. dev makes feature. feature gets ignored. dev is sad. dev leaves. language stagnates & dies. nobody wins. {read slide}
27. use new features! so use new features dammit
28. subrouBne signatures! use subroutine signatures
29. rjbs++ shout-out to rik for requiring 5.14 in new version of Dzil this is a small but significant step in the right direction
30. trog++ and another shout out to trog for pioneering the field of YAPC cosplay
31. mst++ and finally, a shout out to mst, who wasn't able to be here this year. it didn't feel like YAPC without you, so i decided maybe you could _sort_ of be here after all...
32. thanks!