9-6 How to Determine Importance

Transcript

1. 9-6 Finding Patterns - How to determine importance Thu, Aug 31, 2023 3:24PM 5:08 SUMMARY KEYWORDS importance, determine, important, values, urgent, questioning, list, resources, category, goals, alignment, terming, consequence, feelings, cookies, pleasing, knowing, set, align, life SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there successful mom. So earlier this week in our Wednesday q&a meeting, one of the moms asked like, how do I actually figure out what's urgent and important because everything feels both urgent and important. So I want to do a quick little video to help you determine those. Now, there's another video for urgency. And this one's for importance. So how can we figure out if something truly is important or not important? So the first thing I want you to ask yourself is, why do you want to do this thing? Is it a positive thing, or a negative reason that you want to do thing, so if it's something that's fine, you really enjoy doing, those things are positive, and they tend to move up our priority list, because why not, they're fun and great. And not to say that we don't like squash all the fun out of our lives. Patricia Sung 00:40 But knowing sometimes those things aren't as important as we have given them value. And conversely, when something has a negative consequence, that tends to be something we're avoiding, and then we move it down our list of when we want to do it. And when we think about those consequences, now, I don't want you to, like, you know, head down the spiral of shame or question all your life choices here. But I want to give you a few things to think about when you're trying to determine the importance of something. Patricia Sung 01:07 So if you were not do this thing, what happens? What's the consequence, if you just like, didn't do it at all? Usually, the answers come in roughly these three categories, the acronym gonna give you is far FA Rs. The first one is feelings is someone's, or someone's feelings going to be hurt if you don't do this. If they're your feelings, that's valuable information. If you're doing it because someone else told you you should do it, and you're doing it because you want to make someone else happy. That is also valuable information to determine, is that really important?
2. Are we doing it for the right reasons? This is like a whole soap box that I'm not going to stand on today. But knowing the like, like, you know, people pleasing like, are we doing this for people pleasing reason, are we doing it really because we want to do it is a very helpful information in terming. How, how important something actually is. Patricia Sung 01:57 The second letter is a for alignment. So does this align with your values with your goals. And so for example, like when you have to update your resume to apply for jobs, that might really fit with your goal of getting a new job, the tasks kind of tedious, but knowing that it's important and it aligns with your goals will help you you know, move it up in the more important category. And in understanding your values. We talk all about this entire major mastery of how do we set? How do we like recognize our values to see what matters to us. So if you're not sure how to do that, like know that that resources available to you. And example, your new neighbor muezzin you wanted to go deliver them, like some cookies or whatever. If your values are hospitality, and caring for others, that might be something that's really important to you. And so you move it higher up the list, where if someone else is like, you know what, I'm just gonna go say hi, introduce myself, that's cool. That is a perfectly good level of importance to like, I'm scrapping cookies, I'm just gonna go say hi. Like, your values, your goals and alignment with who you are, is going to determine this level of importance, I can't tell you, based on I'm not gonna tell you what my values are. But that doesn't help you, you want to pick the things that matter to you. Patricia Sung 03:11 So our last letter is resources, what are the resources, it's going to cost you if you just like want to do the same? I didn't pay that bill, you got a $40 late fee? Do you have the resources to do that dedicate to that fee, do you not like, if I don't get this done, then I'm gonna have to sort out, you know, actually have to, like drive down to this office fill up this paperwork, it's gonna take me like four hours to fix the problem. Instead of doing it, you know, in online when it was before the due date, that can help us determine the importance like I don't have four hours to go down to that office, nor do I want to. So it's more important, it also is more urgent now. That can help you determine your importance level. So fa our feelings alignment and resources will help you to determine where it lies on the importance list. Patricia Sung 04:03 Now, it this can feel super overwhelming. As I said, like, you know, try not to get sucked in too far. Because they don't want you questioning all of your life choices. When you're looking at these lists. I want you to do it as quickly as you can. But no, this is an exercise, like it's a muscle that you're building. And as you practice this, you'll start to run through like a lot faster how to decide whether things are important, the more that you're asking yourselves these questions and if you get stuck, and you're just like, all of a sudden, you know, questioning all of your life values, goals and judgments, whatever. You can just put that item in the to be sorted category, it is okay to just set it aside and be like I'm gonna come back to that one. And keep going down your list or take a break and come back later. It is okay even if you sort 90% of your list into the important and urgent matrix and you're still a few tasks that you're like oh no,
3. that that's okay because you have a lot of information to go on on where to start. And then you can deal with the pile over here. When you're ready so hope that helps you determine how things are important and I will talk to you soon