ARCHER 1004 (part 2) storyboards

Roughs by me, cleaned up by Akiel Guzman

Transcript

1. Dialog EVERYONE (moans of pain)
2. Dialog EVERYONE (moans of pain)
7. Dialog ARCHER That... was... awesome!
8. Dialog ARCHER That... was... awesome!
9. Dialog LANA Awesome?!
10. Dialog LANA We?re stuck inside a space nautilus, probably somewhere between his colon and his cloaca!
11. Dialog LANA We?re stuck inside a space nautilus, probably somewhere between his colon and his cloaca!
12. Dialog PAM What?s a cloaca?
13. Dialog PAM What?s a cloaca?
14. Dialog CYRIL It?s an organ that?s used for excretion and also intercourse.
15. Dialog PAM (chuckles) Smart.
16. Dialog LANA Pam! Shut up!
17. Dialog LANA Pam! Shut up!
18. Dialog ARCHER You know for the person who got us into this mess, you certainly are yelling at people a lot.
19. Dialog ARCHER You know for the person who got us into this mess, you certainly are yelling at people a lot.
20. Dialog LANA What? You got us into this mess!
21. Dialog LANA What? You got us into this mess!
22. Dialog LANA What? You got us into this mess!
23. Dialog ARCHER Hey, let?s not point fingers.
24. Dialog ARCHER Especially yours, Lana, those things are like cricket bats.
25. Dialog LANA You?re the one who wouldn?t listen to me and set our course for a galaxy to which we?ve never been before and, as we can now see, has a ship-eating cosmocrustacean!
26. Dialog LANA You?re the one who wouldn?t listen to me and set our course for a galaxy to which we?ve never been before and, as we can now see, has a ship-eating cosmocrustacean!
27. Dialog LANA You?re the one who wouldn?t listen to me and set our course for a galaxy to which we?ve never been before and, as we can now see, has a ship-eating cosmocrustacean!
28. Dialog ARCHER Well, you were the one making the flight super boring so I started punching colored buttons on the navigation panel building to a loud, yelly final last point!
29. Dialog ARCHER Well, you were the one making the flight super boring so I started punching colored buttons on the navigation panel building to a loud, yelly final last point!
30. Dialog ARCHER Well, you were the one making the flight super boring so I started punching colored buttons on the navigation panel building to a loud, yelly final last point!
31. Dialog CYRIL Can we please figure out how the hell we?re getting out of here?
32. Dialog CYRIL Can we please figure out how the hell we?re getting out of here?
33. Dialog CYRIL Can we please figure out how the hell we?re getting out of here?
34. Dialog EVERYONE ?What are we gonna do? / Shut up! / Do something!?
35. Dialog EVERYONE ?What are we gonna do? / Shut up! / Do something!?
36. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
37. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
38. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
39. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
40. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
41. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
42. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
43. Dialog ARCHER Would everyone relax? We?ll just fire up the ol? plasma torch, cut an ulcer in this thing and zorp our way on outta here.
57. Dialog LANA Okay! Don?t waste any more power!
58. Dialog LANA Okay! Don?t waste any more power!
59. Dialog ARCHER It?ll work!
60. Dialog VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (O.S.) No, it won?t.
61. Dialog ARCHER (to Lana) Well, not with that attitude!
62. Dialog ARCHER (to Lana) Well, not with that attitude!
63. Dialog LANA That wasn?t me, idiot.
64. Dialog VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (O.S.) I tried that too when I got here...
65. Dialog VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (O.S.) I tried that too when I got here...
66. Dialog VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (O.S.) I tried that too when I got here...
67. Dialog VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (O.S.) I tried that too when I got here...
69. Dialog MALORY Good lord, can?t you go anywhere these days without being accosted by the homeless?
70. Dialog MALORY Good lord, can?t you go anywhere these days without being accosted by the homeless?
71. Dialog MALORY Good lord, can?t you go anywhere these days without being accosted by the homeless?
76. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Umm... so I guess I just wait out here then, like some space-flunky?
77. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Umm... so I guess I just wait out here then, like some space-flunky?
78. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Umm... so I guess I just wait out here then, like some space-flunky?
87. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL This is so stupid.
88. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL This is so stupid.
89. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL ?Lead us into battle, Cheryl. Rescue the ship from certain doom, Carol.?
90. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL ?Lead us into battle, Cheryl. Rescue the ship from certain doom, Carol.?
91. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Who am I, Artemisia the First of Caria?!
95. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL (CONT?D) You know what I mean?
108. Dialog ?Good lord / Yikes / Oh my God.?
109. Dialog ?Good lord / Yikes / Oh my God.?
110. Dialog CYRIL Is it... a human?
111. Dialog GILLETTE Of sorts.
112. Dialog PAM It smells like a diaper?s coffin in here.
113. Dialog PAM It smells like a diaper?s coffin in here.
114. Dialog MALORY This is why you don?t invite them in.
115. Dialog ARCHER (gasp) She?s a vampire!?
116. Dialog ARCHER (gasp) She?s a vampire!?
117. Dialog LANA Everyone shut up!
118. Dialog LANA (then, to the woman) Who you are and what you?re doing here?
119. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE My name is Glenda Price, Captain of the Starship Tristan of Coralia.
120. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE My name is Glenda Price, Captain of the Starship Tristan of Coralia.
121. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE My name is Glenda Price, Captain of the Starship Tristan of Coralia.
122. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE My name is Glenda Price, Captain of the Starship Tristan of Coralia.
124. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) I also commanded the CoreStart Mission? Wrote a book about it, ?Space Me, Space You.?
125. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) I also commanded the CoreStart Mission? Wrote a book about it, ?Space Me, Space You.?
126. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) I also commanded the CoreStart Mission? Wrote a book about it, ?Space Me, Space You.?
127. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) I also commanded the CoreStart Mission? Wrote a book about it, ?Space Me, Space You.?
128. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) I also commanded the CoreStart Mission? Wrote a book about it, ?Space Me, Space You.?
130. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) About all the good we did and the lives we saved throughout the universe? The cover art is my Intergalactic Peace Prize Medal?
131. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) About all the good we did and the lives we saved throughout the universe? The cover art is my Intergalactic Peace Prize Medal?
132. Dialog ?Oh yeah. / Space something. / Yeah, the one with the thing on the cover. / Get lost in a book.?
133. Dialog ?Oh yeah. / Space something. / Yeah, the one with the thing on the cover. / Get lost in a book.?
134. Dialog ?Oh yeah. / Space something. / Yeah, the one with the thing on the cover. / Get lost in a book.?
135. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (CONT?D) Anyway, the Tristan was on an intergalactic humanitarian mission when we ran into The Zarglorp.
136. Dialog LANA What?s The Zarglorp?
138. Dialog EVERYONE ?What?s The Zarglorp??/Come on!/Seriously?
139. Dialog EVERYONE ?What?s The Zarglorp??/Come on!/Seriously?
140. Dialog PAM Even I know that was stupid.
141. Dialog GILLETTE The creature that ate us, dummy!
142. Dialog LANA Jesus, alright, sorry!
143. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We were delivering medical supplies when an asteroid-storm forced us off course into the Targlok Galaxy. Is that how you ended up here?
144. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We were delivering medical supplies when an asteroid-storm forced us off course into the Targlok Galaxy. Is that how you ended up here?
145. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We were delivering medical supplies when an asteroid-storm forced us off course into the Targlok Galaxy. Is that how you ended up here?
150. Dialog ARCHER Yep, asteroid storm. Size of...eggs.
151. Dialog ARCHER Yep, asteroid storm. Size of...eggs.
152. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We got dragged in and swallowed whole. The Tristan is still wedged nearby in the digestive canal.
153. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We got dragged in and swallowed whole. The Tristan is still wedged nearby in the digestive canal.
154. Dialog CYRIL And your crew?
155. Dialog CYRIL And your crew?
156. Dialog CYRIL And your crew?
157. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We made due at first. We played softball, taught ourselves piano.
158. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We made due at first. We played softball, taught ourselves piano.
159. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We made due at first. We played softball, taught ourselves piano.
160. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We made due at first. We played softball, taught ourselves piano.
161. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE We made due at first. We played softball, taught ourselves piano.
162. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE But then the rations ran out and, one by one, they killed themselves.
163. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE But then the rations ran out and, one by one, they killed themselves.
164. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE But then the rations ran out and, one by one, they killed themselves.
165. Dialog LANA Captain, I?m so sorry to hear that.
166. Dialog LANA Captain, I?m so sorry to hear that.
167. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (getting emotional) We lived in our own little utopia. They were... my best friends.
168. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (getting emotional) We lived in our own little utopia. They were... my best friends.
169. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (getting emotional) We lived in our own little utopia. They were... my best friends.
170. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (getting emotional) We lived in our own little utopia. They were... my best friends.
171. Dialog ARCHER Best friends? But... they worked for you.
172. Dialog ARCHER Best friends? But... they worked for you.
173. Dialog ARCHER Best friends? But... they worked for you.
174. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (then, matter of fact) Anyhow, then as they died, you know, we?d eat them.
175. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (then, matter of fact) Anyhow, then as they died, you know, we?d eat them.
176. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE (then, matter of fact) Anyhow, then as they died, you know, we?d eat them.
177. Dialog PAM Smart.
178. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE Unfortunately, there?s no way out of here. We?ll slowly be digested over the next hundred years or so.
179. Dialog PAM A hundred years? That?s like forever!
180. Dialog PAM A hundred years? That?s like forever!
181. Dialog PAM A hundred years? That?s like forever!
182. Dialog GILLETTE Nobody lives that long, idiot.
183. Dialog GILLETTE Nobody lives that long, idiot.
184. Dialog PAM You definitely won?t if you don?t keep your mouth shut.
185. Dialog PAM You definitely won?t if you don?t keep your mouth shut.
191. Dialog ARCHER Alright, calm down, we aren?t spending the rest of our lives in some space-prawn?s shit-factory.
192. Dialog ARCHER Alright, calm down, we aren?t spending the rest of our lives in some space-prawn?s shit-factory.
193. Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) (into radio) Krieger, figure out why there?s no power to the boosters and fix it!
194. Dialog ARCHER (CONT?D) (into radio) Krieger, figure out why there?s no power to the boosters and fix it!
195. Dialog KRIEGER (THROUGH THE RADIO) Yep, yep, yep!
196. Dialog ARCHER Ray -?fix anything damaged in the crash. Pam, Lana and I will go back to the Tristan and collect anything that might help us get out of here. Cyril, I guess just keep being useless. Captain?
197. Dialog ARCHER Ray -?fix anything damaged in the crash.
198. Dialog ARCHER Pam, Lana and I will go back to the Tristan and collect anything that might help us get out of here.
199. Dialog ARCHER Pam, Lana and I will go back to the Tristan and collect anything that might help us get out of here.
200. Dialog ARCHER Pam, Lana and I will go back to the Tristan and collect anything that might help us get out of here.
201. Dialog ARCHER Pam, Lana and I will go back to the Tristan and collect anything that might help us get out of here.
202. Dialog ARCHER Cyril, I guess just keep being useless. Captain?
203. Dialog ARCHER Cyril, I guess just keep being useless. Captain?
204. Dialog ARCHER Cyril, I guess just keep being useless. Captain?
205. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE What do you need? I want to help you all get to safety like when I rescued the Vantaurians from that ELE on Vataur Five.
206. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE What do you need? I want to help you all get to safety like when I rescued the Vantaurians from that ELE on Vataur Five.
207. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE What do you need? I want to help you all get to safety like when I rescued the Vantaurians from that ELE on Vataur Five.
208. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE What do you need? I want to help you all get to safety like when I rescued the Vantaurians from that ELE on Vataur Five.
209. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE Yep, then used my own money to get them all Universal health care...
210. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE Yep, then used my own money to get them all Universal health care...
211. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE Yep, then used my own money to get them all Universal health care...
212. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE -- that's insurance that is accepted throughout the known universe.
213. Dialog ARCHER Wow, what an goddamn saint you are.
214. Dialog ARCHER Wow, what an goddamn saint you are.
215. Dialog ARCHER Minus the smell.
216. Dialog ARCHER Do you have any blast charges on your ship?
217. Dialog CAPTAIN PRICE Yes, but do not use them becaus [...] e
218. Dialog ARCHER Great. Okay, Pam? This is crucial -- once we?re out there, look for anything we can use to make me a drink.
219. Dialog ARCHER Great. Okay, Pam? This is crucial -- once we?re out there, look for anything we can use to make me a drink.
220. Dialog ARCHER Great. Okay, Pam? This is crucial -- once we?re out there, look for anything we can use to make me a drink.
221. Dialog ARCHER Great. Okay, Pam? This is crucial -- once we?re out there, look for anything we can use to make me a drink.
222. Dialog LANA Archer, we?re in the middle of a space creature?s stomach.
223. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
224. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
225. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
226. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
227. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
228. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
229. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
230. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
231. Dialog ARCHER There?s always something that can be a mixer, Lana, I made a drink once out of shampoo and Barbicide. It?s called a ?Buzzcut.?
232. Dialog MALORY Well, it seems like you all have this situation under control.
233. Dialog MALORY Well, it seems like you all have this situation under control.
234. Dialog CYRIL How? We?re currently food.
235. Dialog MALORY Well, you know me, always glass- half-full. Ta-ta!
236. Dialog MALORY Well, you know me, always glass- half-full. Ta-ta!
237. Dialog MALORY Well, you know me, always glass- half-full. Ta-ta!
238. Dialog MALORY Well, you know me, always glass- half-full. Ta-ta!
239. Dialog MALORY Well, you know me, always glass- half-full. Ta-ta!