Expand your leadership toolkit with “The Coaching Habit”

Ask yourself: What were your best experiences when you were coached or managed? How did the coach create a great learning experience for you that stuck with you?

In this talk I would like to share some knowledge about a book with the title "The Coaching Habit" from Michael Bungay Stanier and show you how to implement it yourself.

This talk is not just for engineering managers or coaches, but for everyone who wants to see people grow.

Transcript

1. E X PA N D Y O U R L E A D E R S H I P T O O L K I T W I T H “ T H E C O A C H I N G H A B I T ” J A LY N A S C H R Ö D E R @ J A LY N A S “ A N S W E R S A R E C L O S E D R O O M S ; A N D Q U E S T I O N S A R E O P E N D O O R S T H AT I N V I T E U S ” N A N C Y W I L L A R D
2. W H AT I S G O O D C O A C H I N G ?
3. C O A C H I N G F O R P E R F O R M A N C E V S . C O A C H I N G F O R D E V E L O P M E N T
5. W H AT M A K E S A G O O D C O A C H ?
6. B E C U R I O U S
7. B E L A Z Y
8. B E O F T E N
9. C O A C H I N G G O A L S 1. Get clear on the real challenge 2. Create possibilities 3. Spark action
10. I M P L E M E N T N E W H A B I T S
11. WHEN something happens
 INSTEAD OF current behavior
 I WILL do new behavior H A B I T T E M P L AT E
12. T H E S E V E N E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N S
13. WHEN I want to start a conversation
 INSTEAD OF …
 I WILL ask “What is on your mind?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 1 ! Was beschäftigt dich? Was geht dir durch den Kopf?
14. WHEN …
 INSTEAD OF …
 I WILL ask “And what else?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 2
15. WHEN moving to solutions too fast or getting into generalization or abstraction
 INSTEAD OF …
 I WILL ask “What’s the real challenge here for you?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 3
16. WHEN conversation feels stuck, circling, no action can be taken, …
 INSTEAD OF thinking you know what they want …
 I WILL ask “What do you want?” and afterwards explain what I want. E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 4
17. WHEN an issue is reported to me
 INSTEAD OF jumping into possible actions 
 I WILL ask “How can I help?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 5
18. WHEN I’m overwhelmed by a request
 INSTEAD OF … 
 I WILL stop rushing to action and ask (myself) “What will you say No to, to make this Yes rock-solid and real?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 6
19. WHEN an exchange is ending
 INSTEAD OF ending a conversation the old way 
 I WILL ask “So what was most useful here for you?” or “What did you find most valuable about this chat?” or “What worked best here?” E S S E N T I A L Q U E S T I O N # 7
20. O T H E R I M P O R TA N T H A B I T S
21. WHEN I asked a question
 INSTEAD OF ….
 I WILL be quiet and wait for the answer
22. WHEN I’ve got an answer I want to suggest
 INSTEAD OF asking fake questions such as “Have you thought of …?” or “What about …?”
 I WILL ask one of the seven Essential Questions
23. WHEN I’m tempted to ask them “why …?”
 INSTEAD OF beginning with “why”
 I WILL reframe the question so it starts with “What”, e.g. “Why did you do that?” => “What where you hoping for here?”, “Why did you think this was a good idea?” => “What made you choose this course of action?”
24. WHEN Someone asks “How do I …?”
 INSTEAD OF giving the answer
 I WILL say “That’s a great question. I’ve got some ideas, which I’ll share with you. But before I do, what are your first thoughts?” and after the answer “That is terrific. What else could you do?” and so on
25. WHEN I asked a question
 INSTEAD OF going through the motions of looking like I’m actively listening… 
 I WILL Actually listen. And when I get distracted (which I will), I’ll come back and start listening again.
26. WHEN the person gives an answer to a question I’ve asked
 INSTEAD OF rushing to the next question 
 I WILL acknowledge the reply by saying “Yes, that’s good”.
27. W H E N T O S H A R E M Y O P I N I O N & K N O W L E D G E
28. S U M M A RY
29. Write down your new habits in your own words
30. Question Questions
31. Coach yourself and friends
32. Use it in every channel
33. Kill your Advice Monster
34. T H A N K Y O U
35. W H AT D I D Y O U F I N D M O S T VA L U A B L E A B O U T T H I S TA L K ? J A LY N A S C H R Ö D E R @ J A LY N A S