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Experience Listening

Experience Listening

This tutorial is about rediscovering the lost art of listening. It’s easy to get caught up in deliverables and processes, forgetting that our soft skills are the key to producing great insights about the humans we're learning about. Listening is arguably our most important - yet toughest - skill to master. We'll explore what bad listeners do, the effect of not listening - and techniques you can use to give people your time and attention, so you can become a great, active listener.

Laura Yarrow

June 13, 2019

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  1. Quick Quiz

  2. Experience Listening Hearing the user experience @laura_yarrow

  3. “The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to

    spoken and/or non- verbal messages”. – International Listening Association. Listening
  4. "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.

    The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened too, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." Karl A. Menniger
  5. Ernest Sirolli - Want to help someone? Shut up and

  6. Research suggests that we remember between 25% and 50% of

    what we hear
  7. Poor listening Interrupts all the time Forgets what you said

    Talks more than listens Hurries you along Overly critical/only listening to respond Fakes attention
  8. Think of a time this happened to you How did

    it make you feel?
  9. Things in the vicinity distracting you Multi-tasking Thinking about what

    you will say next Boredom Your mind is elsewhere Why aren’t you listening?
  10. The impact You’re not empathising Affects rapport with the other

    person Important information is missed You wont understand what they’re talking about The other person will feel/realise this and may react accordingly
  11. Listening styles

  12. Let’s do some marriage counselling* *I am not a marriage

    counsellor, do not trust what I say
  13. Kim and Jake Selective listening and cognitive bias

  14. KIM You never help around the house, you came home

    drunk last week, you forgot to pick the kids up from school, you never buy me flowers, you— JAKE I bought you flowers on your birthday!
  15. KIM That was the first time you’ve bought me flowers

    in 8 years! JAKE So? None of my friends buy their partners flowers, even on valentines day!
  16. KIM Anyway, the flowers you brought me that time were

    dead and you clearly got them from the petrol station as a last resort JAKE OH SHIT
  17. How Jake could save his ass by actively listening

  18. KIM You never help around the house, you came home

    drunk last week, you forgot to pick the kids up from school, you never buy me flowers, you— JAKE So, you feel I am being a bad parent, ignoring your needs, and allowing my social life to interfere with our relationship?
  19. KIM yes, I just don’t think its fair JAKE What

    can I do which would make you feel better about our relationship?
  20. David and Matthew Narcissistic listening

  21. DAVID Work is so stressful at the moment…. MATTHEW Me

    too, you wouldn’t believe what someone at work did yesterday.
  22. DAVID And it’s hard for me to pay enough attention

    to my personal life when I have this much on and just want to relax a little when I get home. MATTHEW Seriously, what she did was outrageous!
  23. DAVID What did she do? MATTHEW Well, first she….

  24. “There is a difference between listening and waiting for your

    turn to speak” Simon Sinek
  25. Think of a number between 1 and 5 Keep it

    secret! Do not change it!
  26. 1 2 3 4 5

  27. How did it go? Did you guess your partners number?

    Did they guess yours? Reveal your numbers!
  28. Experience listening 12 s te p s t o heari

    ng t h e us er exp e rience
  29. First listen to yourself What’s on your mind? How do

    you feel? Can you let go of some thoughts?
  30. VOCAL STYLE Speech rate Volume Style Tone

  31. Body language Open body language Gestures (nodding) Posture (leaning in,

    tilting your head)
  32. Eye contact Direct eye contact don't stare! Take eye breaks

    (down , not away)
  33. VERBAL FOLLOWING Responding to the other person before changing the

    topic Participant: I wish that field was focussed by default You: I think thats a really good idea, i’ll let the designers know. Now if you were at work viewing this page….
  34. PARAPHRASING Summarise what the person said Ensures accurate information gathering

    Helps you memorise “So what you’re saying is…” “Are you telling me…”
  35. REFLECTING Repeating back the last word of their sentence Participant:

    “i’m really confused by where to click on the menu” You: “This menu?”
  36. SILENCE Strategically saying nothing People sometimes fill silences with something

    they wouldn’t usually disclose
  37. MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS Words or sounds to encourage and show interest

    “oh?” “yeah?” “uh huh?”
  38. Emotional discovery Respond to emotion in the persons voice instead

    of content “you seem a little frustrated “
  39. Empathy Understand and identify with the emotions of the other

    person “I had exactly the same thing yesterday, I lost all my work on the computer. I felt awful.”
  40. Open & closed questions Open questions encourage elaboration on answers

    Closed questions force a concrete answer
  41. “No one is as deaf as the man who will

    not listen.” Proverb
  42. Summary Put yourself in the other persons shoes Tune into

    their wavelength Listen from within their frame of reference, not just yours Listen not just to whats being said, but whats not being said Listen for the underlying emotions, feelings, needs and wants
  43. “Most of the successful people I've known are the ones

    who do more listening than talking” Bernard Baruch
  44. None
  45. Thank you for listening Laura Yarrow @laura_yarrow