technical conversations you may experience at work ▪ Look at several communication models – Crucial Conversations – DISC – Technical Stereotypes ▪ Pulling it all together with some examples
is about building an environment where people are not afraid to make mistakes ▪ If people are afraid to fail publicly then they will fail privately, and that can cause far more problems down the line! The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team Inattention to Results Avoidance of Accountability Lack of Commitment Fear of Conflict Absence of Trust
there’s something wrong with the application Our code is working fine. If you cretins bothered maintaining the servers I bet we wouldn’t have a problem! Silent or Violent
is quite a complex way of doing this… do you want me to work through it with you? No… it’s fine, don’t worry… I’ll just do it with a loop Silent or Violent
That’s fine, but don’t expect us to pay you overtime because you can’t keep up with the other developers What!? I work twice as hard as those **** this is so unfair, this company is… Silent or Violent
understating important factors which would be valuable but undermine your point of view ▪ Avoiding by steering the conversation away from sensitive topics ▪ Withdrawing by changing the topic or leaving it Violent ▪ Controlling by forcing your view on the group ▪ Labelling to attack the name, rather than the idea “Your ideas are so idiotic” ▪ Attacking by using threats and force
think there’s something wrong with the application I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have blamed the application. I don’t know where the problem is yet… can you help me work it out? Our code is working fine. If you cretins bothered maintaining the servers I bet we wouldn’t have a problem!
Recursion is quite a complex way of doing this… do you want me to work through it with you? No… it’s fine, don’t worry… I’ll just do it with a loop I didn’t mean that it was a bad approach. I just want to make sure that we don’t end up in an infinite loop!
your unit tests? What… don’t trust me or something? No! I’ve seen your tests and they’re great! I just want to make sure we cover all the scenarios first time around!
play a little game. I assume the worst. What’s the worst reason they could possibly have for saying what they say and doing what they do?” – Lord Petyr Baelish
That’s fine, but don’t expect us to pay you overtime because you can’t keep up with the other developers What!? I work twice as hard as those **** this is so unfair, this company is… A Previous Conversation
than necessary. All I want to do is make sure we ship a good quality release. That’s fine, but don’t expect us to pay you overtime because you can’t keep up with the other developers Restore Safety – Use Contrasting I want that too, but I can’t have the project running over budget. Can I do anything to help?
last team meeting A message a C will care about Of course, I thought it went really well! It did, but I noticed a few times you interrupted your colleagues. I’m not sure we really heard all the viewpoints… Well… there’s only one way to do it really. Besides, if they don’t talk then they’re obviously not too worried!
explain to Chris that he needs to listen without accusing him? Well… there’s only one way to do it really. Besides, if they don’t talk then they’re obviously not too worried! But best practice says we include everyone in design discussions. We don’t want an even better idea lost inside someone’s head! Well, that’s their problem isn’t it? I can’t be expected to speak for them!
contrast to restore safety! Well, that’s their problem isn’t it? I can’t be expected to speak for them! I’m not saying you’re deliberately shutting down other people’s ideas. I just want to make sure that we get the best approach we can. Ok, that makes sense, listen more… I’ll do my best!
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