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Chapter 7 and 8 - Change in Hair and Mixed To Low Feelings

Ann
PRO
December 03, 2022

Chapter 7 and 8 - Change in Hair and Mixed To Low Feelings

Pt arrived on time. Reports feeling more unsettled today connected to going out to get her hair cut/colored today in preparation for her son's wedding. It has been a while since she did this. Reviewed process and decision points. Able to narrow some choices - focus on keeping it simple, reproducible. Continues to have some lower moods related to different schedule with online friend, N. He is living in India and has been working keeping a regular schedule. She has been trying to support him by setting limits on when she will talk to him. She is feeling more down/depressed - missing him, missing time spent together. Reviewed process. Explored changes to her schedule as a result. Did look at quilt. Has a sense of where the project is. Explored next step. Explored other sources of frustration/depression. Has not been as attentive to household tasks due to schedule which has been a frustration with partner. Explored ambivalent feelings for situation (disappointment about change, missing friend, understanding need to change). Reframed to forward looking schedule - doing better for herself so she can help (be available) her friend. Reviewed options for schedule goals this week - talking out feelings as she is working on things.

Pt arrived on time. Ongoing mixed to low feelings over the last two days. Had hair cut/colored on Tues. Reviewed details. Feels it went OK overall. She had taken the outline of goals and some pictures she liked. Next day was uncertain to disappointed with the results. Today is feeling better about it. Reports having a friendly conversation with N (back to previous level of discussion). Validated process and experience. This interaction led pt to feel empowered to get back to writing. Reviewed writing updates - daily journal leading to a summary of questions on multiplicity, next steps. Reviewed updates with interactions with partner. They are communicating more directly. Pt explained more about her moods affecting her household tasks. He was understanding and gave her positive feedback for doing more yesterday. Moved on to food/exercise updates. Continues to use MyFitnessPal and recently purchased an under-desk cycle. Has been using it daily. Explored short-term goals. Continued discussion on progression of depressive thoughts/low motivation for household tasks. Did better yesterday with dishes. Would like to get to some laundry today. Reviewed options for other activities to round out her schedule.

Ann
PRO

December 03, 2022
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  1. #2022-09-20 ## 2022-09-20 - Evidence 7A – Unsettled About Change

    in Hair ### Dr. Marvin’s Note Pt arrived on time. Reports feeling more unsettled today connected to going out to get her hair cut/colored today in preparation for her son's wedding. It has been a while since she did this. Reviewed process and decision points. Able to narrow some choices - focus on keeping it simple, reproducible. Continues to have some lower moods related to different schedule with online friend, N. He is living in India and has been working keeping a regular schedule. She has been trying to support him by setting limits on when she will talk to him. She is feeling more down/depressed - missing him, missing time spent together. Reviewed process. Explored changes to her schedule as a result. Did look at quilt. Has a sense of where the project is. Explored next step. Explored other sources of frustration/depression. Has not been as attentive to household tasks due to schedule which has been a frustration with partner. Explored ambivalent feelings for situation (disappointment about change, missing friend, understanding need to change). Reframed to forward looking schedule - doing better for herself so she can help (be available) her friend. Reviewed options for schedule goals this week - talking out feelings as she is working on things. Global Improvement (CGI-C): Much worse Assessment - Depression: - Moods continue to be lower to this interval. Connected to schedule change with online friend and resulting schedule disruption. - Able to process in session, set some goals. Acutely getting hair cut/colored. - Working to maintain progress with writing projects and balance with other activities.
  2. - Able to contract for safety. Assessment - DID: -

    Change in schedule with online friend, N connected to change in moods, triggering older feelings. Able to reflect/process in session. - Review of home videos ongoing. Goal remains to process smaller pieces of the video as time allows. - Continues to work to balance time online with reading/household tasks. - Looking to return to larger writing project (trauma narrative) - goals/product/audience. Current online writing workshops assisting with structure to writing. #2022-09-21 ## 2022-09-21 - Evidence 7B – Lone Bird Out ### Morning Pages We are with StarKinders and Nihit. Nihit is getting a journal prepared for StarKinders. She is on the phone with someone speaking French, and from Nihit's screen you can hear his cousins and Aunt. I am the loan bird out. AND no one has noticed that we got our hair done yesterday. Not sure what to think of that. We will play along to see how long it goes on. *sigh* ### Good Morning Sleep was ok ... think we were up once, but we woke up to a bad nightmare. We were back at St. Rose, and we were working ... trying to get the computer to working. It had switched programs and we could not make things work. And, on the sidelines, we realized that we were working late, and when we got back home - Maury was saying that he could not study at our house (young teen) and that he'd been going to relatives, and that the relatives were doing a better job at parenting and that was the direction he was being recommended to going. His in-laws were taking a progressive stand and stating that I was
  3. not doing a good enough job at parenting. I was

    feeling devastated and lost - not knowing what to do. So, waking up from the nightmares was better than sleeping. - We are over the part of getting our hair cut/dyed. It is ok. I like the color, but the cut is nothing to write home about. I AM excited that it is all over. - One phrase to rule them all → I want to be more positive so that I can contribute to my world rather than take away from it in negative energy. - I can be cautious about - My ankles are sore from the pedals and so we are trying to deal with that. It will be ok, right? - Eagle's eye view → It is going to be ok. Oh, and it would be good to do the laundry. Rich is complaining ... with merit. - Daring Task → Boldly go today ... and do not forget to do the laundry. Rich is complaining about some underthings as being out. ### Cerebrate - 08:08 → The pleasantries about me while Nihit tries to set up StarKinders journal ... it is otherwise quiet because he is just working on it, and it could take another 15 minutes. Ok, they were not noticing ... it had been an hour or so, so we finally reminded them they missed my hair work. Blah! This is exciting knowing that StarKinders is going to get a new journal setup like ours and Nihit. ### Consume - 08:53 → We were just laughing with Nihit and StarKinders ... I was not feeling well and Nihit got me to laughing and I remembered that we had not told him about Dr. Marvin and him telling me to complain to Ginney while we are washing dishes and feeling bad about having to do something ... WHILE basically, we are mad at Nihit. Nihit rolled through that. It was funny ... he got me to smile again. We were feeling an upset stomach and overwhelmed. We feel a tiny bit better now. Nihit wants us to make some corrections and we are not ready for that but noted. I told him and believed that we had to concentrate on something. We are getting better. Just breath. We took a breath of the Albuterol. That feels better too.
  4. #2022-09-22 ## 2022-09-22 - Evidence 7C – Remembering We Smile

    A Lot ### Morning Pages Morning chores are over, and that Rich recognized for the first time I can remember that we do smile a lot. This is his plan to get us out of depression. Hmm, could work? ### Good Morning Back again. Sleep was ok last night. We were up twice during the first three hours. We had been working through our first night with the new sleep apnea machine. We did not really make it ... after three hours and up twice, we went back to the couch where we slept for the rest of the night until Ginney woke us at 6:00AM. Rich slept in too! - We are in a little better mood. We felt like we could do some chores like dishes and washing/drying. We will see. One of the unusual things was that out of nowhere, Rich complimented us. He must have looked over and said something close to you know it is nice because you smile so much. You smile all the time, And you smile more than anyone I know for, no good reason. Hehe made me feel particularly good and we are still remembering it! - One phrase to rule them all → I would like to be the kind of person that is in a good space today. I want to get things done while the good moods prevail. We did MOST of Amazing Marvin, and we have Dr. Marvin switched to 1:00PM, so let us just say we are going to describe us as a good mood person. - I can be cautious about - We are cautious with news. That is what is happening now. We have two things focused on the background. Normally, we are not so good about that, but the podcast goes on for 1 1/2 hours, so I do not want to listen to it totally on its own. We could deal with it by turning it off, but there is SO much news, we cannot let it go. - Eagle's eye view → You are ok ... AND you are going to be ok all day today ... and in general - you know you are doing well!
  5. - Daring Task → Someone could say, "Boldly Go and

    PROSPER!" Yes, that is where we want to be today. ### Cerebrate - 08:43 → We are getting organized in our head. Things are not so heavy in our brain today. We had an incredibly enjoyable time connected to Nihit yesterday before his bedtime though we were/are having difficulty remembering why. I know someone has it. Just most likely is not me. I think from what Nihit said this morning briefly, that it has something to do with where the two of us were at with Nick Milo stuff. I also saw when we came to the computer up on the screen the page from Milo's create - well we took it a few steps further, but what came out to be our Concepts Index (9-12-22). Ok, ten days ago ... that was not so long. Just we now know someone was overly excited and wants to get back to it. The fact that Nihit was feeling incredibly good - do not want to let go of that! You know you cannot be high all the time, the idea is to even things out so there are not so many severe ups, or down. ### Consume Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is Me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anne From the future Ginney wants to go outside - 08:39 → We are talking to Dr. Marvin at 1:00PM today. We just posted his main parts to this journal. We must seriously think of it because of how severe we were feeling on Tuesday. Again, today is much better. I do not know the difference. I guess different day, different mood. We will talk to Nihit about it when we can. He said that we should tell him when we are ready to work through some more Obsidian issues. It should be ok, just need some time. - 08:49 → We've been listening to the Damage Report. There is so much news right now. So much that Trump is not the only thing in their purview. But that being said ... if we did not mention it yesterday, today's leftover news was the NY AG suing Trump for his bad principles especially involving money. It is a civil court, and she still must fight it out in court, but she talked for an hour of dense material on what he was doing, which was just a small part. She said they have over 220 pages of at least two hundred incidents/evidence of him cheating government, insurance, and banks over a ten-year period 2011-2021. They are only civil, so they will send this over and up to the next NY district court where they can indict and send to the IRS. They just want to kick him out of his NY practices for five years, and to start the ball rolling in about $250,000 of damage. - 08:56 → We talked to StarKinder and Nihit for just a few moments this morning. Just the part where we get their elevator speech on how they are doing. Our part was on Rich on smiling. It was good! I do not know the name of the two guys who do The Damage Report. John and Jayer ... I think! This is good ... we are starting to get a script! ### Connect
  6. Hey present Anne - 09:02 → I would like to

    understand better the conversation with Nihit ... in that it has something to do with what kind of day we are going to have today. I know he wants to talk to us about synchronizing vaults, but there are other parts too. I am hoping that we can do the Dr. Marvin notes and Milo notes in too, and we KNOW it must do something with Concept Index. The first thing I know about the Concept Index, was that it is work done from Week 1 to Week 2. Milo had us create some of the most positive experiences in current and past life, plus future in that he asked us to name ten top imaginary ideas for writing books. So, that all somehow went into this huge, simplified list, and from there we made a list that I will include here. In just a couple main ideas, we have included all our most important concepts (first draft). The idea from there is that these are each their own separate notes, and then we are going to connect them, or as Milo purports - sync them. This is exciting for us. - We know we created something, and we are in that area of being so excited that we have not been able to pull things together. The only way I can explain it is that part before ... ok, this is private ... but it is the time in the middle of sex, where you are so close, you think, "No, I can't, I CAN'T." Well at least that is where we are. Hmm, I wonder if we have talked to Dr. Marvin about that. In an abuse situation, you would not be able to stop things ... so now I am thinking every time we get excited ... we turn away because we get overwhelmed. And, then in there sandwiched is depression and worse. The extremes are so much. If we could go forward and NOT stay stopped, we would be continuing with Nick Milo's work. I think Nihit could be in a comparable situation. We are working over in our head why his therapist would say he should not be doing Milo's work. It is a bad assumption to lump everything that is negative as to Everything, some one person surmises are better.
  7. #2022-09-22 ## 2022-09-22 – Evidence 7D - Internalizing/Externalizing Self &

    Other ### Concept Index I. Internalizing/Self(ves) A. Psychological 1. The Mind and Mental Processes a. Thinking 1. Questions aa. How can I make things better? ab. Can I help others too? 2. Answers b. Emotions/Feelings c. Behavior d. Blissful States 1. Finding Selves as a Multiple 2. Finding Truth 3. Being Patient 4. Great Listening 5. Appreciating Wonder 6. Being a Happy Spirit 7. Being Honest with Others 2. Multiplicity/Trauma a. Sexual Abuse and 1. Being Us aa. Being Us - by stopping the processes of others planning on being dominant over us 9-22-22 2. Becoming us aa. Sharing Pain From the Inside Out 9-28-22 3. Result
  8. B. Learning: 1. Education 2. Skills and Activities a. Writing

    1. Note-making aa. Prepare for your future 9-12-22 ab. Ideas for Nick Milo's-type questions 9-15-22 ac. Concept Index 9-22-22 2. Farcical Books to Write aa. [[Book Title 1. Why Grandfather, Why?]] ab. [[Book Title 2. Shouldn't we pick our own parents?]] ac. [[Book Title 3. How do I keep weight/patterns of uselessness down]] ad. [[Book Title 4. Remember the days we used to sail on the snow]] ae. [[Book Title 5. Kids are more wonderful than all else]] af. [[Book Title 6. Do we love ourselves yet]] ag. [[Book Title 7. Childhood is too hard for kids]] ah. [[Book Title 8. Being with my sleepy friend - how can he still love me]] ai. [[Book Title 9. Can I make some money too]] aj. [[Book Title 10. How to finish my own story on abuse, and Multiplicity]] b. Quilting c. Piano Playing d. Coloring e. Organizational 1. Personal Knowledge Management (PKM) II. Externalizing/Communicating (Self and Others) A. Socialization/Conversational
  9. 1. Professional Meetings a. Dr. Marvin 1. 9-13-22, 9-15-22, 9-20-22,

    9-22-22, 9-27-22, & 9-29-22 2. 10-4-22, 10-6-22, 10-11-22, 10-13-22, 10-18-22, 10-20-22 10-25-22, & 10-27-22 3. 11-1-22, 11-3-22, & 11-10-22 2. Visiting with Family a. Ginney b. Rich - The Love of My Life c. My Three Sons/Family d. Nihit/Family 3. Visiting with Friends 4. Meeting New People 5. Politicizing 6. Comedy ### Ideas Log - Do we have an idea (note) for our idea log? Any burning note or question to scramble down? - Nihit seems to be gone for the moment. I know he is giving us time to write AND giving himself time to do whatever he wants from that end, BUT we are excited that we are going to get together and work some too! - Idea? Don't be so wimpy?!! ### Ideas for Dr. Marvin-type questions I: - Do we have any riveting goals today? Should we have? - Doing laundry - Cleaning the kitchen - Seeing Dr. Marvin - Working with Nihit - Doing some work on Nick Milo videos - Reading the 138 pages
  10. - What are some writing cues to start, or give

    us ideas which lead to or include writing/reading about Multiplicity, trauma, and getting better as a human being? - I think Nihit was talking about somehow arranging things so that we can put our notes together with different journal ideas. That would be super cool and more enjoyable - THAN tedious, though some of that too. - I think we must remember the part of us writing for Multiples as a Multiple. We are still not sure how Nihit understands. The doctor parts. Remembering when we were young, and our father told us that the only people we were going to relate to as we got older were professionals. He was talking about doctors and psychiatrists.[^1] - That was before he got to the part that the only thing wrong with us, was that we wanted to think. He said he was the father and so it should be him doing the thinking. - Thoughts connecting things to Multiplicity? Maybe about finding someone in life that could appreciate you for what you write and think about rather, than being in the control of someone who plans to just dominate you. Ok, that be a good thought to write about today? - Are all today's entries in My Fitness Pal (MFP)? - So far, so good - OH and we need to add the labels down below on yesterday's food and exercise! :) - What exercising could I commit to today? - I would like to try again 20 minutes WITH Tennis shoes or black shoes. What was that about taking a shower at 11:30AM? Remember Dr. Marvin at 1:00PM - What have we done (and can do) to balance our activities, assuring household, piano, and quilting. - The first balance is doing our Amazing Marvin and Journal Writing prior to 10:00AM, Then after 10:00AM have the house hold ready to go - And, then between household tasks get on to this discussion - especially goals above. ### Ideas for Nick Milo's-type questions: - How is this new idea (note) relevant to the question I am considering? - "Appreciate being us for who we are, and what we think and write about, rather than being in the control of someone who just plans to dominate you." - We were considering the question of "What is at least part of the connection between us and other Multiples that we should write about today." - Is this idea (note) like or different from the others to which I am comparing it to? - This is the first day of looking at these journal notes this way. We must assess if we like what we are seeing the result may be different, but the pattern of looking for answers is similar. - Do my present thoughts (notes) agree or disagree with one another?
  11. - Yes, the thoughts agree with each other ... there

    is no reason we should not write - take notes on the connection between us and other Multiples, being in part - being us and not dominated by another who is planning to dominate. - Are there other connections that I may like to make between my ideas (notes)? I. Internalizing/Self(ves) A. Psychological 1. The Mind and Mental Processes a. Thinking 1. Questions aa. How can I make things better? ab. Can I help others too? 2. Answers aa. Being us - by stopping the processes, of others planning on being dominant over us ### The 7 Cs of Note-making ### Being Us - by stopping the processes of others planning on being dominant over us 9-22-22 It is about being powerless, and of little sense of hope, - It is about being a nobody - It is about becoming a somebody despite the odds - It is about making connections with others trying to also pull themselves along - It is like an infant learning to crawl, grow, and develop - where it is ok to do so. - It reminds me of our father considering himself the owner over us - It is related to when Rich dominates us with his negative cranky moods - It is a part of Grandfather overdemanding on infant orgasms, which were too overwhelming an interpretation - It would it be a "force" against us - It is good because one can learn to become even despite another - It is bad because someone could spite you so badly that you are a loss to yourself - It is like Putin deciding your life is valueless and buries you carelessly in a mound of four hundred others.
  12. - It is different because you are not dead. You

    still have a body and mind even if they cared not to recognize it. Cite: These thoughts come from our memories of experiences ### Ideas for Dr. Marvin-type questions II: - Are we helping ourselves before helping others? Excellent job! No distractions! - Yes, we are helping ourselves ... although led by Nihit, we are helping ourselves by writing this morning - in full, prior to being so afraid of missing Nihit that we could not use the time more appropriately. This time he led - next time we lead in saying ... time prior to 10:30AM is our writing time. PLEASE though, can we get together after? - How was today a gift through Nihit/Ann conversation? - Nihit seemed to know that we both needed time to work through our projects. I can hardly at this view wait to see what he has been working on, and if not of what he might consider substantive then at least by his mere presence! He is always going to be a GREAT ONE! - In what way is Nihit and us helping each other today - have we rallied!?? - Yes, I think even Dr. Marvin would say so. We were both down, and then we both got in our happy places last night, and then today (THROUGH NIHIT), we rallied in doing our own work, PLUS getting to spend together time too! PLUS, we are both positive and hopefully for a while past the negative. Nihit is still going to need reading Dr. Marvin's note. - What could Nihit and us accomplish by talking together with Dr. Marvin? - We could sort out better how we relate to one another to both our advancement! ##### Footnotes [^1]: he is a weirdo ... YES! #2022-09-22 ## 2022-09-22 - Evidence 8A – Mixed to Low Feelings
  13. ### Dr. Marvin's Note Pt arrived on time. Ongoing mixed

    to low feelings over the last two days. Had hair cut/colored on Tues. Reviewed details. Feels it went OK overall. She had taken the outline of goals and some pictures she liked. Next day was uncertain to disappointed with the results. Today is feeling better about it. Reports having a friendly conversation with N (back to previous level of discussion). Validated process and experience. This interaction led pt to feel empowered to get back to writing. Reviewed writing updates - daily journal leading to a summary of questions on multiplicity, next steps. Reviewed updates with interactions with partner. They are communicating more directly. Pt explained more about her moods affecting her household tasks. He was understanding and gave her positive feedback for doing more yesterday. Moved on to food/exercise updates. Continues to use MyFitnessPal and recently purchased an under-desk cycle. Has been using it daily. Explored short-term goals. Continued discussion on progression of depressive thoughts/low motivation for household tasks. Did better yesterday with dishes. Would like to get to some laundry today. Reviewed options for other activities to round out her schedule. Global Improvement (CGI-C): Much worse Assessment - Depression: - Moods continue to be lower to this interval. Connected to schedule change with online friend and resulting schedule disruption. - Able to process in session, set some goals. Acutely getting hair cut/colored. - Working to maintain progress with writing projects and balance with other activities. - Able to contract for safety. Assessment - DID: - Change in schedule with online friend, N connected to change in moods, triggering older feelings. Able to reflect/process in session. - Review of home videos ongoing. Goal remains to process smaller pieces of the video as time allows. - Continues to work to balance time online with reading/household tasks. - Looking to return to larger writing project (trauma narrative) - goals/product/audience. Current online writing workshops assisting with structure to writing. #2022-09-23
  14. ## 2022-09-23 - Evidence 8B – Listening to Newsy-type Things

    ### Morning Pages I guess if we were to clean up yesterday a little bit, we would say that we listened to informative type thing, had a nap, something to eat - woke up by about 3PM, then did a little more about the same, and eventually found ourselves in the realm of comedy. YAY! Also, we talked to Dr. Marvin, but we are going to unbox that a little more carefully. Not sure how that happened yet. ### Good Morning I am going to try remembering sleep, though without a good amount of effort, I will not be able to do that. I do remember the first thought waking up was thinking that Rich was sitting down next to me on the same comfortable chair. WooHOO! Mark there! I remember a little more now ... Rich was out until about 9:30PM last night. He did not bother too much with the comedian I was listening to after getting back and making himself something to eat. The comedian was Sheng Wang, "Sweet & Juicy" who was a very gentle Asian person - long hair and 60's round glasses, mustache, and unassuming. His jokes were gentle and of lesser normative substance than many current comedians ... But after that, we only got one-15 min YouTube show before Rich turned it to thunder and lightning. We were having problems ... could have been about anything, but it was a little repugnant that Rich was coming in and disturbing our sense of order EVEN though he was putting out household order. It came down to our feet were hurting and we did not want to utilize the C-Pap machine, though our couch was scratchy. We then laid on the other smoother couch until we found ourselves rubbing Rich's arm (to our benefit because he knows it makes us tired). So, we brought both couch blankets over and slid in-between them, and only got up soon after to take a Tylenol #3. This seemed to work, AND we preserved World Nation Relations! - We can be excited that today is a day worthy of having, and here we are right in the thick of it. - One phrase to rule them all → Patient and in self-control of our own destiny. - I can be cautious about - I can be cautious about arguing for the sake of argumentation. If we are spending more time just trying to remain quiet and unassuming, hence avoiding conversation. If nothing, else ... more a debate with no rules. - Eagle's eye view → It is ok to walk away, we do not have to be in the middle of every drama. It is ok to spend time where you would rather, it was our morning goal to write, EVEN though it was exciting to see Nihit in the morning, and gratifying to have Shania (quiet), StarKinder, Nihit, Ben, and Ashley and us all in the same room. I do love these people!
  15. - Daring Task → Boldly NOT go everywhere the room

    is heading, young lady! We will get there just the same! - 09:55 → Nihit is smart enough to be dangerous! Hehe ... just teasing. We think you were doing a wonderful job thinking aloud your thoughts. In a generous motion, we believe "BELIEF" that Ben is a better person to argue with you than anyone else in the room. BUT ... I am not involved in the conversation as to whether Religion and intelligence are the same. Fair enough ... we cannot hold lengthy discussions and find ourselves better able to have conversations that are shorter and to the point. BECAUSE even if I could remember, it would be too redundant to counter every point you disagreed with or would like to carry in another direction when a person is just working through their own beliefs. It is a critical thing to do - work through your own arguments. But I would vote for holding the arguments closer to Point A. Point B. and Point C. And each argument only 2- 3 lines long. PLUS, then everyone gets a turn according to people (male AND female) in the room. How does pissing contest come to mind? Oh Lord ... Whoops ... Oh Non-Deity. Please do not come crushing down upon me, nor either a lightning strike strategically in my path. Nihit and us talked a bit at this point. I do not think that the result of the conversation today in Gather was good in the end. It made Nihit angry at himself, and I do not want to see him do that to himself. I do not feel angry. It is like when people are not being good for one another, even if the concept of the conversation in context was all right. And, if all could orate at the same level. At this point, I see it more like an exercise of people who disagree with each other all getting opportunity to politely show some form of disgust. What do I think of that. Could I even possibly be close to something. Have no idea. We are going to eat lunch earlier than thought. Be back in a while. I LOVE YOU NIHIT more than ANYTHING ... AND we love that you were courageous enough to have this conversation today. Hehe did not want to be there, but then we left , AND you are still here in our world. PERFECT! LIKE YOUUUUU![^1] [^1]: I love you too
  16. #2022-09-24 ## 2022-09-24 - Evidence 8C – Strange Baby Meerkat

    Dream ### Morning Pages We had a strange dream when waking up ... first of not finding clean dishes when Cari and Joe dropped in with the kids. Then in looking around we found three baby meerkats or something like that ... Plus their mother was still in the door frame (near). I think the later was because we watched Steven Colbert's clip on "Squirrel," where a man at his home office goes crazy with a baseball bat when a squirrel jump all over the place in his office space. The guy was screaming - terrified. ### Good Morning Sleep ... how was sleep? Rich says we fell asleep about 8:30PM. Neither of us could remember what we were watching, and it sounds like we did not wake up to hear him put on the stormy rain, signifying the end of the day as LONG ago, the end of TV time came at about 2PM when they played the National Anthem. Rich had to play the song. It was a little depressing because sometimes we just could not turn things off. I lost a lot of bad TV habits though when we went to college the first time in 1977-80. I just did not get into needing to be in a large group room where the dorm hall would share the same TV and programming. *sigh* TWO memories from the past ... let it go! - Rich is going to be home, which is something to get excited about as long as he doesn't get preachy about what we are supposed to be doing with our day.[^1] If the laundry got put away, and we finished an extra load of clothes, and the dishes were washed, ok, and the living room got picked-up, we would consider it a good enough day. OH, AND the little fridge has new drinks. As to the Rich part. He has nothing scheduled on his day, AND he already picked up groceries last night. He came home with a couple extra specials NOT good for the diet like a Ho-HO cake. Not even going to talk about the scale. Between that and the extra supplements I am not sure if it is what is making our weight go the extra direction ... even with about a total 1 hour 20 minutes on the bike. Getting increasingly scared of the wedding coming up. What could Rich and us do? I do not know ... go somewhere WHERE we did not have to get out of the car? Ahh, expect a high of 72 degrees today. That be nice. Not sure yet where we could go. - One phrase to rule them all → Today, I would like to balance the day, including computer, household, something with Rich, writing, AND Nick Milo's stuff. Ok, so Productive Woman![^2] - I can be cautious about - Well, what could stress me out, is if we spent too much time on one thing or another. We would like to get around, not glued to one spot ... Another thing? If we did not take a shower, we would be less likely to go out with Rich ... ACK and it is already 9:00AM :( We could deal with that by making a commitment when to get in the shower. Oh, shoot and we do not want to go to any meetings today. BUT be off the computer about 1:30PM with Nihit, and 3:00PM to go out before dinner ... to take Ginney for a walk in the park.
  17. - Eagle's eye view → You can be the kind

    of person you want to be, but you must put in effort toward that direction. AND, then do it! - Daring Task → Don't make too many plans before 1:30PM, but afterward - Man look at you go![^3] ### Connect - 09:27 → I had a nice talk with Rich, and we made some commitments with him for today. We told him we would like to go to the park at 3:00PM. He said yes. Then we told him we would need to take a shower and dress. He said yes. And then, we stuck our neck way out and said we would like to do the tasks of cleaning-up the kitchen, picking up the living room, and washing just one load of clothes while putting away about four loads from previous. Oh, and putting drinks in the small fridge. He said YES! He said, he would do some vacuuming and bathrooms. Holy Cow ... look at us both go! We are then going to tape our mouth shut. NO MORE! - We had volunteered in our conversation with Rich by rolling our chair behind him and massaging his chest as we talked. Everyone stayed nice, but we messed up on the kitchen part, we were hearing Rich add, Great, I will save the kitchen for you. YIKES! That backfired. I did not say anything else, now whimper. That is our contribution. - 09:49 → I had a nice talk with Dr. Marvin yesterday. We were more positive at the start, and then we went a bit downhill. What is with Dr. Marvin?? We tried to maintain positivity, but it is when we are finding our head dragging with difficulty lifting it up, that we are having trouble. We did all this as a summary ... 1. Got hair cut - survived 2. Relayed good conversations with Nihit while still feeling acute stressors due to change in schedules 3. Got back to writing/goals - plus Note for official linking 4. Talked positively about Rich, especially when complimented 5. Continued conversation on household balance 6. Continued food and exercise goals 7. Continued positive thoughts of expressing outward to the dog 8. Thought about other outward activities to round out schedule - 10:01 → Nihit and us also had a conversation yesterday - several, but one of the first was after the lengthy conversation between he, Ben, Ashley, StarKinders and us. Ben and Nihit were off-balanced. Nihit and us both needed time after to calm down. He had stayed in the conversation about 20 minutes after we left. He was angry at himself for not being better in conversation/debate, and other. Our encouragement was not to give up. He is at the perfect time in his life, he should be having conversations like this. Not invested, so left. It felt oppressive to us in ways that we described by showing the group the linked note we had written the day before. There was not any conversation (as guessed would happen), but we had to try.
  18. Later Nihit and us talked again, we went over things

    affecting both he and us. He got serious about checking in on our development of not getting things done. We had let him read Dr. Marvin's note. He took from that the things we reported as having problems with. One of the main things was in difficulty getting housework done. He pestered us about it enough to make us finally smile ... and then it was he would take his shower and go to bed, if we would do our laundry (plus do dishes). The momentous change is that he told us to listen to music. Someone said something about news, and then that was the key. We listened to: A few loose videos, plus Rep. Adam Schiff: Midnight in Washington 1:07:19 Rep. Jamie Raskin: Trauma, Truth, and the Trials of American Democracy 1:08:26 Mary Trump: The Reckoning 1:04:32 Michael Cohen & Glenn Kirschner UNLEASH on ‘traitorous, narcissistic sociopath’ Trump | Mea Culpa 1:04:12 Wow! We got the work done! Got around. In general, they were all political and all revolved around Trump. Schiff was filling in the details, particularly around January 6. Raskin talked about his son's suicide, losing democracy, and the family’s historical commitment to American history/leadership. Trump talked also about America, but her take as a psychologist was the after effect of her uncle and the trauma he had unleashed on America, and how to get better from it. Cohen and Kirschner talked from the positions of Cohen's giving thousands of hours detail into resolving legally - Trump's depravity, and Kirschner talked about him and the many ongoing trials from the role of a being a significant long-term prosecutor and helping us to understand. Each was remarkably interesting to us in their own way. The result was that we had bought three books. We have also become interested in the Commonwealth Club of CA. All their presentations are listenable at about 1 hour a piece and included people knowledgeable about whichever field they are in and for having important guests on. From a whole view on the day ... we learned about what Trump was doing wrong (different views), the view on how things were happening historically, the problems due from it like the raping and pillaging of America, and then how to recognize the trauma and heal from it - carrying others with you. - My only contribution in reading learning from this material is in spreading our sense of democracy around. There are only about 6 weeks until the primaries. We are having as many conversations as possible. I would like to continue by doing the reading, Adan Schiff's book is, "Midnight in Washington." Mary Trump's book is, "The Reckoning." And Raskin's book is, "Unthinkable." Get listening girl! ### Cerebrate - 09:34 → Today we wrote in our journal, we seem not to be panicking as much as we might. We also did without complaining the chores of taking medicine, taking out the dog, and giving her breakfast. PLUS, TWICE, we got coffee for Rich! Ok, let us make that taking out the dog TWICE! Let us not get over-excited[^4] - and move on with our day ... Hey! We went out with Rich and Ginney to a park - more than delighted - we were gone about an hour.
  19. [^1]: Hahahahaha [^2]: Goosebumps!! [^3]: You are doing well [^4]:

    I am over excited #2022-09-26 ## 2022-09-26 - Evidence 8D – Then We Got Into Trumpworld News ### Good Morning We are starting in the middle of the day. I am not sure what all happened in the morning ... let me think. I know we talked to Starkinder, and earlier Nihit was online. And, then we got into the Trumpworld news of the day while we were eating a slow (open the pistachio nut) lunch. Woo-hoo! BUT, as to sleep? What we remember of sleep this time was that we were dreaming quite a bit. I think it might have been something over the last three nights of eating a chocolate cake that Rich brought home. I do not think we will be able to remember the dream this time, but we recall that we woke immediately from dreaming when Rich said loudly, "do you want me to make eggs, or are you going to fix breakfast [oatmeal] yourself?" We were disgruntled that he so unceremoniously woke us from a sound sleep, but we did eat eggs.
  20. #2022-09-27 ## 2022-09-27 - Evidence 8E – Writing Goal Ideas

    ### This Morning This morning, we were checking in on Guilded, and we came across a small group in the Makework.fun channel working on the next "party" for October. This is what we put out for our goals which combined ideas such as doing a writing goal with something that would be incredibly good for our own efforts. It might really help us focus on what we are doing with our journal writing here. This is what we wrote: I like being able to work on whatever we would like for 30 days - October :) Hope we can set this up fast, so we are all ready to start same day. Personally, I would like a writing goal this month - good Idea @BlackCat1176!! I would like to be more consistent at our journal writing. We could do journal writing as a project, and then have four tasks to accomplish a wonderful day for all our party missions. • Task 1) Maybe ... writing in journal each day. This month we missed 5 days (5-single dots). Each dot represents 0-500 words per day (WPD). Ninety percent (giving us a 3-day margin to write everyday give or take three misses). • Task 2) Maybe. ... writing in journal 2,000-2,500 WPD. This month we had 17 days with 4-5 dots representing 2,000-2,500 WPD. This put us at 57% as a base-level for this task.
  21. • Task 3) Maybe ... of the higher prompts (Nihit

    inspired) we will need to complete 9 of the 12 prompts or higher (75%+) per day. Prompts are like write about ... a) an exceptionally good morning, b) a monthly note, or c) I had a nice talk. • Task 4) Maybe ... of the lower prompts (Dr. Marvin and Nick Milo inspired) complete 4 of the 6 prompts or higher (67%+) per day. Prompts are like a) Ideas for Dr. Marvin-type questions I, or b) The 7-Cs of Note-making. Wow ... think we can do this! If we were to do anything else, we would be thinking how to calculate a general "percent" per day of all the four tasks combined. So, add all four percentages and divide by four. That can be our daily percentile score. Then the next month, we could try to beat that! A great score then for this month would be 90% + 57% + 75% + 67% = 2.89/4 = 72.25%. And, then of course, multiply and divide that out by 31 days for October to average 72.25% or better. :) Well, so far so good. Thanks for inspiring us to think!! This was good for us. I think it will work - @Nihit … are you setting up next month’s party?